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Need some ..what do I do to get her to commit?


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So my ex girlfriend and I broke up back in April. Long story short I ended up in jail for 5 months. During that time she told me she met someone else and so I decided not to contact her. We didn’t talk for about 2 months. About a week before I came home she wrote me. We started talking again when I came home and she came and met me briefly to bring me my cell phone and other things. We have been talking every single day since then. She told me she broke up with her new boyfriend. She told me she is in love with me and misses me so much that she wants to give it another shot but she is scared, which I don’t blame her for being. She tells me all the time she wants to come hang out that she wants to be in my arms and kiss me but every time I tell her to come over she tells me she doesn’t know that she is scared. I know I have her right there, that I can have her back, but I just don’t know what I need to do from here. How can I get her to commit to coming to see me? I’m so close to having her back but I can’t get past this part and I don’t want to mess up my chances! Please help!

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Stick with her , give it time , don't push too hard just keep being there.

You can't force trust it has to be earnt words aren't trust what she sees and feels from you is, or will be, but if you stick with her and don't waver , understated that she just needs time to come around, soon she will.

So that's the first part, and when she does then you got the 2nd part .

By being with you she needs to see and feel she can trust you , again you can;t force trust , but once again in time if you don't eff up and take care of her, she will just see it for herself and when she's finally at ease you'll have her trust again, but even more so do not eff up after it.

Trust isn't about a day or a week or a month or words, it's as long as you are together , that's what she needs to feel and to see.

Edited by chillii
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So I’ve been on here before. I won the girl back for a little bit but I ended up getting sent away for a little bit. It was then that she realized she loved me and didn’t want to lose me. About a month intocme being gone she realized I took her iPad so she was heartbroken and we were on rocky ground. She eventually told me she met someone else and so I cut contact for 2 months. Right when I came home she hit me up saying she realized she needs to be single and she thinks about me all the time so I broke no contact and we started talking. She came and met me one time to bring me some stuff I left at her apartment that I needed like my phone and some clothes. We started talking everyday. We started getting into relationship talk and she told me she wanted to be with me but she was scared and I just need to give her time and I was cool with that. We would make plans to hang out and she would cancel last minute all the time, which I understood. She was scared to jump back in a relationship with me. She would still call me babe and tell me she was in love with me and only me. Then the other day out of the blue she got cold with me. Started getting annoyed at my texts and then told me I need to stop talking to her that I need to move on. She got real mean. I tried to convince her naturally that I did not want that. We barely talked over the weekend and then we talked today with the convo ending with her telling me we should not be talking that she isn’t in love with me and I need to move on. I don’t want to lose her again and I was so close to having her back. Maybe I got to insecure with my texts and appeared needy and desperate like I used to a few months ago? Why is she cold all of a sudden? Is she just scared? Will she come around? What do I do? Please help me! I love this girl with my entire heart and I don’t want to lose her again, I don’t!

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your history is really important to this so I've put a couple of links https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/688575-need-some-how-proceed and https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/677150-my-girlfriend-broke-up-me-but-still-calls-me-wants-hang-out

 

There would have been something which triggered her going cold on you. Were you doing that thing where you get in a bad mood and wouldn't tell her what's up? Were you doing whatever it was which got you sent to jail? Or were her parents/friends in her ear about your history?

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I’m not sure. It doesn’t matter now because she is being really mean to me now and she just blocked me on everything. This sucks I wish I knew what to do

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It doesn’t matter now. Out of the blue she got cold and now she is being really mean to me telling me to leave her alone. I don’t know what to do or if there is any hope left at this point

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  • 1 month later...

I don't think she's going to commit to you. She has become mean and that's a very telling sign that someone is finished with a relationship.

 

There were some signs that you should have been paying attention to:

 

- she said she was scared

 

- you were in jail more than once.

 

Most women are going to be very wary of someone who is in jail or has been. What is it you are doing to get yourself in jail? Whatever it is, it erodes their trust in you. You need to seriously think of getting yourself on a straight road if you want a woman to start trusting you.

 

What was she scared of? Did you ask her? Was it because she thought you would commit a crime, steal from her? How can you think of getting back with her when you are busy undermining her trust like this? What is driving you to do the things that are getting you into trouble and why do you not understand that people want to be with people they trust, who are honest, who do not commit crimes?

 

Relationships can be very fragile even if someone has not committed crimes that have resulted in jail time. Getting into trouble with the law is going to make it less likely that a relationship will work for you, unless you find a woman who behaves like you.

 

There are women who go for the 'bad boys' but if you want a woman who prefers to live on the straight and narrow, then you need to adopt the same values as her and behave accordingly.

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