Lostsoul1 Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 There is this ( female) friend of mine. We been friends since 5th grade. We have always been in touch and met up regularly. Since last year November she hasnt been in touch and she even forgot to congratulate me on my birth day. I asked her if something has happened and she keeps on saying she is busy with work and that she is currently at a phase where she wants to " find herself" because she feels lost and disappointed. She sees her friends have husband and children and she has neither plus she failed her final exams. She told me that her current job is the only thing she got going and when she gets back she just wants to sleep. I kind of understood but since we had that conversation three months have passed and she couldn't even message me just to say hi. I am that type of friend who always checks on you even during finals. Maybe it's too much to expect from me. Anyway I wanted to throw a bbq soon. I dont really want to be the one to invite her first when I haven't heard from her all.this time. Should I invite her and take her non response or cancelation as an answer or should I tell her how I feel , that the friendship is fading and I wished she iuld do more if she still sees me as a friend. I think I take friendships too seriously but yeah... Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 My suggestions: Just invite her and if she doesn't come then consider the friendship as having faded. It happens, there is no reason to pursue or question. Frankly, she sounds depressed and or stressed out and is probably wanting to just concentrate on getting through. Believe her and take her at her word that she just needs to "find herself" so that she no longer feels "lost and disappointed." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 Extend the invitation to your BBQ to her anyway and don't worry about her current lack of communication. Sometimes friendships are put on the backburner if more pressing issues are a concern. Just because she hasn't responded lately doesn't mean she won't later. Just drop her a line to tell her you are thinking about her and leave it at that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 If her friendship is important to you then of course you have to be true to your nature and invite her. You don't have to brow beat her to come. A simple announcement to her should be enough then she can make up her own mind. Once we leave school friends behind the relationships change, especially if the a person perceives those they knew to be successful in life - where they are not. Instead of friends engendering good memories, the friends become reminders of personal failure. It's just a part of growing older. Link to post Share on other sites
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