MJJean Posted August 26, 2019 Share Posted August 26, 2019 I believe I now "would like to play a game" with them. i'll see how long it takes them to figure out how I came to know this. How about you stop wasting time playing games with these two? You've already wasted so much of your precious life on this that I think you should just get the papers drawn up and move on to better things. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 26, 2019 Share Posted August 26, 2019 I believe I now "would like to play a game" with them. i'll see how long it takes them to figure out how I came to know this. Why bother. Just file the papers, life is too short for this kind of drama... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted August 26, 2019 Share Posted August 26, 2019 It hurt because I loved and trusted him. That's all it was. Fair enough and fully understand PB. There's no avoiding, on a large scale, that there will be emotional pain in breakups. My point was that (IMO) responsible adults will be more likely to break up with their partner and move on, rather than cheating. There would still be some monkey branchers of course. And there would still be hurt at the other person moving on. But, I think there'd be less of this madness we get with people unhappy in a marriage but feeling stuck and then pretending things are fine but cheating (and then the DDays and R process or divorcing, etc). Like I say, there's no perfect solution. There's still problems any way you slice human behavior unfortunately. No doubt NOT having societal norms of marriage would cause other issues. In an alternate universe I might be sitting here writing how if we only had marriage, look at all the problems it might solve. Anyways, veering into T/J territory here. Apologies. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted August 26, 2019 Share Posted August 26, 2019 Olimp, since you were indeed cheated on, once you've gotten over the initial distress, you need to sit and think (really think) about whether you want reconciliation or divorce. It's understandable to want to toy with them a bit, but really that's just "rearranging the deck chairs on the Titantic" in a cheating situation. You have much bigger issues to deal with once you're ready. Also just because you want to reconcile, that won't mean your wife does or that she'll be truly capable of it even if she wants to. So divorce might be the only option, unfortunately. Others around here should be able to advise you well on this once you're ready. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
notbroken Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 The only game you should play with them is 'divorce as soon as possible and unfriend'. Don't waste any of your precious time and energy on them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Buffer Posted August 31, 2019 Share Posted August 31, 2019 Welp. For starters let me say, that basically you were all correct. Indeed I was cheated on. It turns out, that an ounce, too much, of whiskey really can bring out what subconscience wants to say, but a sober person would never do. In this case it were merely 3 words. And luckily the other guy turned out to be a coward when directly asked about them. Thanks for some insight everyone. I believe I now "would like to play a game" with them. i'll see how long it takes them to figure out how I came to know this. So sorry to hear. Please think about your response Actions carefully. Give your thoughts time to fully comprehend the situation. Make no long term relationship decisions without a clear mind. Now you have the information what do you want to do? D or R, it is up to you not others. Your WW will respond but you make the relationship calls. She is known to manipulate the situation for her benefit. Do what is right for you. Talk to a lawyer ASAP to know your rights for your location. If you can, confide in a trusted person. This is too much to just keep bottled up in side. Regarding the confrontation that is up to you so long as your actions don’t hurt any other third party. If you choose a family event for shame factor it will hurt others. Please be carful and take care. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 How are thing? Link to post Share on other sites
Awesome Username Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 Screw the head games and go straight to divorce. God forbid she get pregnant by ANYBODY. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
crispytoast Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 (edited) I'd kick her out and change the locks. And I'm not even monogamous. You don't just discover you're poly... It takes agreements and boundaries and honestly, most of the time someone tries to turn a monogamous relationship into a polyamorous relationship, it fails. Nothing wrong with being poly but your wife is playing you like the world's smallest violin. You don't just discover you are in love with your hubbies best friend. Polyamory is a mutual agreement. You can't just decide you are poly one day and tell your partner another day. Edited September 19, 2019 by crispytoast Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 Seems the thread starter hasn't been back in a while, we'll close this up till they return Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts