How much space should I give?

[Samakiyah]

Do you work enough to support yourself on the money you earn?

 

Yes I do work. I make more money but we don’t look at who makes more in my marriage. It’s collectively...always been

[Samakiyah]

I feel for your husband and your plight.

Your BH, feels as if you have gone out behind his back, lied and stabbed him in the heart.

 

He doesn’t feel safe with you at the moment cause your the reason for his pain.

IC is a good start, but you can’t make him go to MC.

Give him a time line of how this A started and how the how it led to the texting. Show him all of them, even the deleted texts and pictures. To do this you will have to download a deleted text recovery programme.

Your BS needs to know the full extent of the EA. But if there are ones you are too scared to show him. Tell him upfront that once seen they cannot be unseen.

 

Also go totally NC with your EA partner. If you work with him, can you switch locations or job? If the AP works with you how can your BS feel safe?

 

Then tell husband you will have no further contact with him. If your AP reaches out to you tell your BS immediately, don’t delete the text or open the email. Your husband will see this as you are trying to hide this and the EA is continuing.

 

At the moment as it has only been a week, he has no trust in you, even if the EA was just a childish flirtation you have to show him you are trustworthy and earn his love.

 

Good luck

Constantly tell him you are sorry for his pain and continue to reassure him of your love and future fidelity. Your children and he are the reasons you married and you have reinvested in this relationship 110% this is what he needs to hear.

 

He feels cheated, show him that you are safe for

 

 

I’m almost in tears...u made valid points and u hit everything on the head. I do that all the time. I’m slowly earning his love back but the trust will take a very very very long time to get back and if it do come back it will never be the 100% he had in me...probably 60% the most I gotta work very hard too

[Samakiyah]

As long as you have not met this man and didn't physically touch him, I don't see a problem with it. Did you discuss intimate things with him?

 

If this is all there is and you have not omitted something, then I think your husband is over reacting, totally. Is there something you forgot to mention? Does husband know this guy?

 

"Emotional affair" is an oxymoron. No such thing, and I know members will disagree. An affair is an affair, implying romance or some sort of sex.( Now the meaning is broadened to include just talking.) This is not cheating in itself --

 

he needs some TLC . You do, too.

 

 

There’s nothing else I’m not mentioning. We talked for 1month. We did talk intimate stuff but never overboard and the messages my husband saw had nothing sexual in them. There was one pic the individual sent but that was it. I never sent pics or videos of myself. I just needed someone mostly to talk to and get some attention! It was hella wrong of me and that’s what hurt him. I’m not the type of person to talk to other men so I guess that’s what hurt my husband the most.