He is not a good little brother after acting like that [UPDATED]

[Tagalz]

He is the only brother you will ever have... you had best learn how to get along together.

 

Bailey, I will tell you something. long time ago we both had the same friend. Let’s call him for Markus in this thread. Markus had the same interests as both me and my little brother. We both liked to play games but I also had another hobby which was football.

 

My little brother started ignoring me when I was speaking to him and Markus saw that and started doing the same. I didn’t confront my brother cause I didn’t want to argue with him when Markus was there.

 

But me and Markus always had arguments and even at some point where fighting.

 

Bottom line to this story is that I lost a potential best friend cause of my little brothers behaviour and still to this day he is like that

 

Edit: Do you know how angry I feel inside because of that? My parents have talked to him but he won’t listen. So I don’t see a point if I was to speak with him. I just cut him off as my brother. See him less u know.

Edited August 25, 2019 by Tagalz

[The Outlaw]

He’s not arguing anymore because he knows that I won’t bait. I have stood my ground but a little too late. Yeah Next time I won’t travel with him and when we get back home I’ll cut him off

 

Just continue to stand your ground and he won't have anything to bait you with anymore. That's all you need to do.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

My mom and her twin sister are on their way home from a 2 week trip together as we speak. Her sister treats her like crap (criticizes every single thing she does, belittles her, etc.). I'll tell you what I told her: "You two need a loooooootttt of distance from each other when you get back."

 

One word comes to mind: TOXIC

[Tagalz]

Hey!

 

This is an update to my last thread about my little brother.

 

I told my parents everything about he's behaviour and it shocked me to say that they didn't really seem to care. My mother says the same and my father didn't choose to give me that looong speech about my little brother being a family member so we have to take care and all that...

 

The last sentence I remember is that my said: "Sure he's not your little brother but when we have family dinner you cannot NOT come because he's there. Just keep this inside of your heart, show up and smile like nothing happened" Like wtf? I would be miserable in the long run and does he support him or something? do something rather than saying I have to pretend.

 

My mother always says the same thing: "It's also your fault so don't think much about it"

 

while my father wants to have serious sit down chat with him. I told him that it's no need because my little brother would forget and he won't listen so there is no point. Remember I told my parents when I lost a friend. They spoke seriously to my little brother but look he has not changed at all. I also told my father about Markus who I'm not friends with anymore thanks to my lil bro. If you don't know what happened here is a little briefing. I got ignored by my little brother every time I spoke to him, so Markus started to do the same and it caused me to fight and argue a lot with Markus.

 

Another shocking thing I found out was that my father's brother got he's ass spanked with a shoe just because he were a ******* and did not obey parents orders. This makes me feel similar way to how the Chinese people do to raise their children... I'm not an expert but I do know well that in Norway parents don't beat up their son... and even though this has not happened to my father I still am questioning what kind of family I was raised in...

 

To summarize: I knew that my lil brother has done things to me such as losing a friend. This 3 week trip to Japan and China was the best opportunity for me to have a good relationship and reconnect with my little brother but that seemed to go way down. I don't want to cut him off because he's family and that is important but as off right now that seems to be the case. Sure it's not just he's fault as I can also take the blame for giving him more control over me but that doesn't give him right to behave like I'm an outside person. I really didn't want this to happened at all...

Edited August 28, 2019 by Tagalz

[The Outlaw]

Once again, you've given him too much power over you. People who get under are skin aren't EVER worth it. Just cut him off for the time being. Avoid him.

[Tagalz]

Once again, you've given him too much power over you. People who get under are skin aren't EVER worth it. Just cut him off for the time being. Avoid him.

 

Sure but he forgot he’s role as a little brother. It does not give him right to behave like that.

[basil67]

Tagalz, you were probably driving each other nutty on the holiday and equally at fault. Make a mental note to not go away with him again and let it go.

[Tagalz]

Like sure he says something negative and I respond back but what does he want me to do? Get angry and shout at him in public? If I were to do that then it’s me who has the fault and he’s probably gonna be happy cause I got baited easily. My point is that I did not choose to do that and stayed calm meaning I only replied back to he’s negative comments about me.

[Tagalz]

Tagalz, you were probably driving each other nutty on the holiday and equally at fault. Make a mental note to not go away with him again and let it go.

 

Mhm... that’s one way to go but how do I know if he’s stop being like that?

[basil67]

You're forgetting that his negative comments would, at times, have been triggered by something you did or said. Then he annoys you and you annoy him. Let go of the blame game and chalk it up to being incompatible travelling companions.

[basil67]

Mhm... that’s one way to go but how do I know if he’s stop being like that?

 

We crossed posted.

 

Work on the assumption that the two of you are not, and never will be, good travelling companions.

[Maddie82]

How old are you both? It all sounds so petty but there is fault from both of you. Time to put some distance between you until you can both start acting like adults.

[The Outlaw]

Sure but he forgot he’s role as a little brother. It does not give him right to behave like that.

 

No, it doesn't. But I don't think he really cares at this point. He will continue to do whatever it is he wants until someone calls his hand on it.

[Geraltt]

Don't feel bad. It's actually rare that siblings get along all that well. There are exceptions, but there's a lot who have issues.

 

When I read stories like this I consider myself extremely fortunate, because me and my siblings (one brother and one sister) all get along really, really well.

Edited August 30, 2019 by Geraltt
clarification

[Gagis]

How close are you in age Tagalz?

 

I know I came to realise that my little brother had it easier than me just because I had come before him, but there's only two and a half years in it.

 

At some stage my little brother had to become the older brother, when I had a breakdown, and he still clings to it, especially as he has a kid now.

 

I was really grateful for my brother's support in my difficulties, but I've come to resent how he sees himself as more mature, when he hasn't gone through the same life experiences as me.

 

Things are a bit better now, we recognise that we are different and don't compete as much.

 

Everyone has their own life experiences, but with brother's there is a sense of laying out them for each other to sample. Recognising that their experience will always be different to yours makes it easier to not compete.

 

Thank you.

[preraph]

Well, I can see you're strictly against violence, so that limits our options. You know, puppies and kittens beat, bite and scratch the bejesus out of each other when young as part of learning what is acceptable behavior and what isn't. If no one shows him, then how's he to know it's not acceptable?

 

Your parents have no doubt enabled him to be a little twit and have no interest in doing anything about it except telling you to put up with it, so they're who you ought to be most mad at. You need to get away from there once you are making some money and done with your schooling and never even let your brother visit. Maybe with age he'll grow a brain or a conscience, but I wouldn't bet on it. He's been raised to act like this.

 

It's just sibling rivalry, but you are blind to see how you feed into it. You need to lock him out of your room and just have the most minimal contact and not even talk to him when that's an option. When he talks to you, ignore it, be silent, go to your room and lock the door or go for a walk and get away. And do NOT travel with him ever again. Tune him out.

[Tagalz]

Thanks to everyone who takes their time to support me and give me advice!

 

But honestly I don’t know anymore... It hurts me to stay away from my brother and I even have to fake smile when we have family dinner as my father said: Just show up.

 

At the same time I can let it go but I’m 100% sure he will be like that again cause I can’t control him.

 

Only two option is to use violence on him or cut him off

[The Outlaw]

Thanks to everyone who takes their time to support me and give me advice!

 

But honestly I don’t know anymore... It hurts me to stay away from my brother and I even have to fake smile when we have family dinner as my father said: Just show up.

 

At the same time I can let it go but I’m 100% sure he will be like that again cause I can’t control him.

 

Only two option is to use violence on him or cut him off

 

Violence will only make it worse. Cut him off and out of your life. From what you've described, he probably won't change.

[Maddie82]

Thanks to everyone who takes their time to support me and give me advice!

 

But honestly I don’t know anymore... It hurts me to stay away from my brother and I even have to fake smile when we have family dinner as my father said: Just show up.

 

At the same time I can let it go but I’m 100% sure he will be like that again cause I can’t control him.

 

Only two option is to use violence on him or cut him off

 

Seriously, how old are you both? You must both be really young and immature, especially to talk about using violence against him. That's just messed up. Ever think that he does these things because it gets an extreme reaction from you that he finds entertaining? He knows it gets to you and you bite every time.

[basil67]

And equally, it could be because something you're doing drives him nuts.

[preraph]

Do you even have the option of staying away from him? If so, use it! If not, install a chain lock on the inside of your door or buy a rubber doorstop. It's not like you'll get rid of him forever.