hmmhmmm2 Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 So I worked with this girl for a year..great friends...long story short she flaked on me one day, so I stopped pursuing her and backed off...she would send a text here and there...said we should hang out after her vacation/cruise...that was 3 weeks ago...I sent her a text this morning and she didnt respond, but came into my work with another guy...no idea who this guy is, as she broke up with her bf a couple months ago. We didnt even speak to each other at all...I just acted like I was busy. No idea what to think here. Is she testing me or is she just not interested? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 Is it this girl? https://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/friends-lovers/688400-what-should-i-think-girl No, she's not testing you or trying to make you jealous. She's just not interested. Sounds to me like she's only ever seen you as a friend....then things got complicated and the friendship got downgraded to casual friendship. You weren't a consideration when the guy walked in with her. You know, had you not acted like you were busy, you may have ended up chatting with them and found out exactly who he was. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hmmhmmm2 Posted August 23, 2019 Author Share Posted August 23, 2019 Is it this girl? https://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/friends-lovers/688400-what-should-i-think-girl No, she's not testing you or trying to make you jealous. She's just not interested. Sounds to me like she's only ever seen you as a friend....then things got complicated and the friendship got downgraded to casual friendship. You weren't a consideration when the guy walked in with her. You know, had you not acted like you were busy, you may have ended up chatting with them and found out exactly who he was. Normally I would agree, but given that I texted this morning and didnt get a response...it seems rather weird she would show up directly to my work...it seems rather rude to ignore someone then show up and not attempt to say hi, even if just as a friend. To be fair, I was busy, but perhaps not busy enough to not say hello. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 Back off and keep it only work related. Cut out the texts. You are reading more into this than there is. She's not interested in you. It could possibly be her way of saying to leave her alone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Flame Aura Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 You didn't bother replying to your previous thread... but if after that she still never contacted you then it's clear she is not interested. Messaging her again just makes you look like one of those guys that can't take the hint and leave her alone. She's not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 Normally I would agree, but given that I texted this morning and didnt get a response...it seems rather weird she would show up directly to my work...it seems rather rude to ignore someone then show up and not attempt to say hi, even if just as a friend. To be fair, I was busy, but perhaps not busy enough to not say hello. She walked into the office and you didn't even acknowledge her - why would she say Hi? Regarding the ignored text you sent before work - how important was it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hmmhmmm2 Posted August 23, 2019 Author Share Posted August 23, 2019 You didn't bother replying to your previous thread... but if after that she still never contacted you then it's clear she is not interested. Messaging her again just makes you look like one of those guys that can't take the hint and leave her alone. She's not interested. Ummm she does contact me, every once in a while. Shell say something like "how are you?" Or "what are you up to?" And I'll respond and ask her to hang out and shell say yes but doesnt know her schedule or is busy, i.e. the vacation. So she is usually the one initiating contact, however in yesterday's case I initiated the text. Link to post Share on other sites
Flame Aura Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 Ummm she does contact me, every once in a while. Shell say something like "how are you?" Or "what are you up to?" And I'll respond and ask her to hang out and shell say yes but doesnt know her schedule or is busy, i.e. the vacation. So she is usually the one initiating contact, however in yesterday's case I initiated the text. Just read what you posted again. That is the definition of someone who is not interested in you, and just likes the attention. She is not interested in you, period. Believe what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hmmhmmm2 Posted August 23, 2019 Author Share Posted August 23, 2019 She walked into the office and you didn't even acknowledge her - why would she say Hi? Regarding the ignored text you sent before work - how important was it? Because it's a restaurant, she sat at the bar with the guy, I was focused on my work plus didnt want to give her any reason to think she was getting to me...even if she is getting to me. Maybe I wasnt clear, but we dont still work together. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 If she didn't know you were there (at the restaurant) then it was an opportunity to gaze through a small window of her life into what she's been doing while you were texting. If she knew you were there, then I agree with marc it was a warning to leave her alone, especially if she was over affectionate with this guy in your presence. Time to give up your hopes and dreams. Don't let her keep you on a shelf awaiting the day she remembers your alive. Erase her at every level of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hmmhmmm2 Posted August 23, 2019 Author Share Posted August 23, 2019 (edited) If she didn't know you were there (at the restaurant) then it was an opportunity to gaze through a small window of her life into what she's been doing while you were texting. If she knew you were there, then I agree with marc it was a warning to leave her alone, especially if she was over affectionate with this guy in your presence. Time to give up your hopes and dreams. Don't let her keep you on a shelf awaiting the day she remembers your alive. Erase her at every level of your life. I didnt notice anything overly affectionate, they talked a bit but they were both on their phones for the time I noticed. Tbh I dont even know if she noticed I was there or not. And last she knew, I had plans to move to Florida in a week...those plans changed since then...so for her theres no reason to do anything...I had said let's hang out as friends at the time because I was planning on moving and didnt want to lead her on if there was no future. Edited August 23, 2019 by mlssufan01 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 Sounds like you are making the typical guys mistake of projecting on her. I'm interested in her so she must feel the same. Nope, doesn't work that way Link to post Share on other sites
MetallicHue Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 I think you need to let this go and leave her alone. You are way over analyzing this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 You stopped pursuing and she keeps on making excuses. She isn't interested. Sadly, it happens. But she probably just saw you as a friend and nothing more. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 Because you work in the same thing, she is trying not to let you be mad at her and just be friendly and polite, but she is not interested in dating you, I'm afraid. She's not testing you. She isn't interested. I don't think she ever was but was just trying not to make someone mad she works with. Sorry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hmmhmmm2 Posted August 24, 2019 Author Share Posted August 24, 2019 Because you work in the same thing, she is trying not to let you be mad at her and just be friendly and polite, but she is not interested in dating you, I'm afraid. She's not testing you. She isn't interested. I don't think she ever was but was just trying not to make someone mad she works with. Sorry. ...but we dont work together...we used to. And again...she is usually the one who reaches out to me first ever since I backed off. If i was the one constantly reaching out to here...it would be different...I just dont know why she keeps contacting me if shes not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 Because she’s happy to have you as a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
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