Stalking my Ex on social media

[joemesina]

I think I am kind of addicted to this, I do it nearly every day, Although I don't follow her on social media, I keep looking at her instagram, I watch her stories anonymously, and twitter and Linkedin also, Facebook I don't do it much because hers is very restriced and there isnt much content also.

 

Some background, she left me 3 years ago, she was my first girlfriend and the one whom I lost my virginity with, we were dating for 7 years, sometimes I have some thoughts of what if I didn't meet my current girlfriend, might she have returned?

 

I think of this because some months after our relation ended she started dating a guy for 1 year, but that relation didn't last and ended badly, and in this time I met my current girlfriend and she remained single.

 

Sometimes I still miss her, although there other qualities I dont miss, we fought alot, and arguments were started very easily .

 

In the last 3 years there have been some encounters some of them when I was with my new girlfriend and they were really uncomfortable for me, my ex is a close friend of my cousin.

 

Recently I have found out she has gone to live to another country to further her education, so in part this helps to continue the process of forgetting her, and no more possible encounters, but this also makes me more curious as to what more things she is doing there.

 

I have to say I am now very happy with my new girlfriend I respect her alot, she is very loyal, kind and lovable, we do many new activities together, we go to the gym together, and we are now more fit than we ever were before.

 

I have never contacted my ex since I started my new relation, also my ex never contacted me again.

 

I feel bad about lying to my current girlfriend on this, I have told her a bit of this, but not the whole part although she kind off know that I still have some issues about my ex.

 

I really want to stop stalking my ex and finish my moving on, which I think is very advanced but not completely done, I am going to therapy two times a month, because I suffer from anxiety, this issue is also causing some of my anxiety.

[mark clemson]

Time to let go. I guess since she was your first GF and the relationship lasted so long you aren't used to the fact that at some point they just aren't in your life anymore at all. But that's what happens really.

 

Do it/let it happen. You have someone else now and really there's nothing there for you anymore. Why maintain a habit that no longer serves you + puts your current relationship at risk if discovered.

[preraph]

Your anxiety is probably feeding you hanging onto this and hanging onto this is feeding your anxiety. I'm glad you're in therapy. That's great. Give it a little time. At some point, it will simply come down to you making up your mind to let go and move on. The goal is to stop caring what she's doing and leave it all behind. It is within your power to finally be tired of being miserable and looking backwards, but it's like stopping any addiction: You have to want to do it. Hopefully therapy will help you get to that place. Keep up the good work there.

 

And truly think about how you'd feel if the woman you're with now were doing this about her ex and how hurtful that would be and maybe some empathy for her will help you put a stop to this fruitless habit.

[Beendaredonedat]

Sometimes I still miss her,

Well of course you do. You will never get to the stage of indifference to her if you keep stalking her social media which keeps her squarely in your brain, renting space in there for free.

 

Stop your addiction to looking at her life and soon enough you will have rehabbed from your drug of choice called CREEPING.

 

Going No Contact (which includes keeping yourself away from all social media accounts and changing thoughts of her when they pop into your head) is the best way for you to stop this nonsense wondering if she might have come back to you.

 

You are doing your current g/f a total disservice by continuing your creeping or your ex and wondering such things that you are wondering and pining over.

 

Zero contact now. Time to start your rehabbing.