Cindylee Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 I’m a single woman in my 30’s, no kids. I don’t have many girlfriends so I joined meetup groups to find friends I recently became friends with someone I met on there, she told my she was married with a stepson. We seem to hit it off and she sounds interested in being my friend because she’s always inviting me out, however she talks about her husband and kids, which I don’t care too much to listen. She’s always wants to have a “girls night out.” However last time she was talking of bringing some ppl to an arcade bar and invited me, last minute she said she was just bring her husband. I’m like wth? I don’t want to be the third wheel to a married couple. It looks lame, she always talks about going on a trip I I keep thinking it’s going to be a girls trip but then again she’s married and I doubt she’s going to leave her husband at home. I’m like no, I would prefer to be friends with single ppl b/c I have more in common with them. Am I making a big deal out of this? I don’t want to hear stories about her married life it tag along on trips with her and her husband and be that pathetic third wheel Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 If you aren't interested in her, then don't meet with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 I'm not sure why you're asking us (strangers on the internet) if you should be her friend when clearly you sound like you'd rather not???? Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 I don't blame you, but if you don't want to be the third wheel, don't. Get back online and try to find some other single people to mingle with. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 married people generally keep to their own as do single people. I find that married couples are wary of singles and see them as a threat to their marriage. If I were you i'd stick to single people for friendship and company. You don't want to hang out with married people anyways...most of them are unhappy and sad examples of human beings. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cindylee Posted August 24, 2019 Author Share Posted August 24, 2019 I only want to meet with her if it’s going to be a “girls night out” or happy hour or brunch, not if her husband tags along. I usually assume the reverse, married couples with kids don’t want to mingle with single childless people also. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 Why would you want to meet her on a girls night out when you find her conversation so boring? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 She was probably hoping she could get out for some girls nights out but then is having trouble with her husband wanting to go. Or not. I mean you can certainly tell her that you don't want to be the third wheel or you can go out with her and her husband because maybe he wants to meet you and get comfortable that you two are going out together or something. then if she asks you with them again you could just tell her, nah, I felt like a third wheel last time. but unless she's a person with a lot of hobbies she probably doesn't have much else to talk about except her husband and kids because that's her life. You could say you're busy if she is doing something you don't want to do but then keep her on your list for if you have a small group of people together or something where she would be welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 maybe her husband wants a threesome with both of you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cindylee Posted August 24, 2019 Author Share Posted August 24, 2019 i don’t know, now I’m thinking a girls night out wouldn’t be fun st all, because I’m single and I’m on the prowl looking for a man, I mean she’s going to talk about her husband and me talking about how much my dating life sucks and that I don’t have a man just makes me feel like I don’t have anything in my life while she already accomplished locking down a man while I can’t even get a man Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 I hate to use this phrase ... but this time I will: you're way over-thinking this ... Sure, I can understand why you didn't want to go out with husband. (Just a note, some married couples can actually be fun company for a single person ... I've been party to that ... though I understand your fear about this) ... Go out and meet whoever ... A married person that you like and whose company you like can be as valuable a social connector as a single person. The majority of my hang buddies are married ... though I see them alone typically ... that's men and women. If you like the person go for it ... it's sorta like dating ... My married friends have given me a ton of dating wisdom ... partly based on their experience, but also the experiences of others they've observed. As in dating, sometimes it's good just to take the first step ... and then evaluate afterwards ... Seems like you're talking yourself out of taking any action to meet people because you can't guarantee the perfect setup. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 I mean she’s going to talk about her husband and me talking about how much my dating life sucks If the only topic you can talk on is how much your dating life sucks, then it's no surprise that your dating life sucks. Is there really nothing else you could talk about? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 My rule for this: I only go for girls nights out or trips, no kids, no husband. If husband or kids are invited last minute, I cancel and say "not my thing". Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 i don’t know, now I’m thinking a girls night out wouldn’t be fun st all, because I’m single and I’m on the prowl looking for a man, I mean she’s going to talk about her husband and me talking about how much my dating life sucks and that I don’t have a man just makes me feel like I don’t have anything in my life while she already accomplished locking down a man while I can’t even get a man Then instead of hanging out with someone you clearly don't even like, why don't you concentrate your time in being active on a good, reputable dating site and put yourself out there so that you have a better chance of accomplishing "locking down a man?" 1. You don't appear to like being in her company. 2. You feel like you are unaccomplished around her. 3. You are wasting valuable dating time worrying about her and and how either of you look to the other. Just focus on you and your goals and forget everything else. Your focus on her and whether or not to continue with a less than satisfying relationship with her isn't productive or even important in the scheme of your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cindylee Posted August 26, 2019 Author Share Posted August 26, 2019 I’m all for going on girls trips recently she invited me to go to some “cookie party” at her moms it’s 2 hours away, the thing is she NEVER mentions that her husband and kid are going to tag along. Which I know they will, because I doubt she’s going to leave her husband and kid at home while she’s visiting her mom. Its ridiculous, what she wants me to be the lone single friend tagging on her family trip? And I don’t know what she’s talking about girls night out, obviously, she’s married with a kid so her Saturday nights out should be at home instead of at a club doing body shots. I’m thinking she must be one of those bored housewives wanting to be single again Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 26, 2019 Share Posted August 26, 2019 I’m thinking she must be one of those bored housewives wanting to be single again or she could be grooming you for a threesome Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 I say this because I think it's the reason you bothered to make a post about it instead of just not hang with her and be done. Also you yourself hinted at it a few times. It's this - You really don't want to be single. Being with her when she talks about her husband and parades him around, it makes you feel self conscious, somehow inadquate. You have envy and you hate feeling that way. You can easily stop seeing her, but you made the post because you know that's not all, that there remains the issue of hating your current relationship status. I think you should try to be more relaxed about it all. With so many people divorced, separated, cohabitating, etc. these days, there's much less of that stigmatism attached to women being single. Few people still use the term "old maid". That all came from a different time/place. Perhaps you were heavily influenced. Also I think you'll have better chance of finding a man when you actually like being single. You want to be single? Men want to change that. You desperately want to marry? The men stay away. Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted September 2, 2019 Share Posted September 2, 2019 A married couple can be a good "wingman" for you, they can also introduce you to their single friends. If you see a guy you like, they can help break the ice, invite him over to have a drink with you all. Also there is an enhanced safety factor in meeting people when you are out because the couple is there. Those are potential positives of the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
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