I don't understand why women aren't attracted to me.

[GuitarGuy7]

It's been four years...

 

Four friggin years, of try to have any sort of resemblance of a dating life; trying to enter the dating world and find a girlfriend, get laid, and just be desired by someone.

 

And it's been nothing but four years of pain, heartbreak, rejection, missed hope and opportunities. In my four years of trying to have any resemblance of a dating life, I only met up with four girls and while I thought they were "dates" they merely saw it as friendly platonic hangouts. Iv'e never kissed a girl, let alone have sex with anybody. To say I am disappointed is an understatement, I feel like a monster!

 

 

I tried everything. I signed up for online dating, tried "going out" and joining a bunch of clubs at my college and talking to girls, I started working out and dressing better, I went to clubs and parties. But no matter where I went, I was ignored and treated like garbage! Don't tell me it's all in my head, I know that women don't like me!

 

 

I just want to know why... I want to know why that women arne't attracted to me. I am so blind to my shortcomings, I can't see what I am doing is wrong.

[Mysterio]

GG. I think you have to let go of wanting a Romantic Relationship for awhile for your sanity. A lot of us are having problems connecting. Its just the way it is right now. You have to put yourself first. That means doing activities that are not designed to meet women.

 

I have to do the same thing. I personally think that not having friends is worse than not having a romantic relationship. We all have to let things come to us in organic ways.

 

Be strong bold and fun. You have a long life ahead of you. Live in the fact where its not really you. Its just that todays vibe is so topsy turvy in romantic relationship. One person is getting in to it. One person is leaving it.

 

For myself and I suspect you. We will more have a romantic relationship when we least expect it and we have truly let go of the process of finding that special love.

[Envy123]

Romance only happens with me, when I just focus on myself and my goals that are not related to love.

 

Trying to pursue both online and offline has always been unsuccessful for me.

[Mysterio]

i agree with Envy. Only time anything works out with me is when I don't care. I don't know why that is. Its not like when I reach out romantically. The woman is super happy about it or the situation is clear. Or I am trying to be heavy about it.

[chillii]

Yeah, l think it might help you a lot.

l'd also be wondering what type of girl your going for , especially in the looks department, as in maybe your shooting too high as compared to yourself.

And personally l don't believe one minute the girls are all out there worlds their oyster because one thing, , great looking girls yeah, maybe , but like men they are only 10 or 15% of the population, the rest are average or below and l'v known many women over the years that have been single years and years and there's just as many of them right here on ls , as there are guys,

 

So tbh , l'd really have to wonder just who is doing the rejecting.

Edited August 25, 2019 by chillii

[mr_ybor]

Four? Almost seven here for me, guitar guy. Wait. We both play guitar. Maybe that's our problem.

 

Guess we should quit.

 

I probably would for love at this point as sad as that is.

[Mysterio]

Define what a love relationship is for you? It's different for a lot of people.

 

I personally don't think I am doing something really wrong. I know lots of people that are falling apart in their relationships. So it's not like everything is stable.

[GuitarGuy7]

Yeah, l think it might help you a lot.

l'd also be wondering what type of girl your going for , especially in the looks department, as in maybe your shooting too high as compared to yourself.

There are few great looking girls, only 10 or 15% of the population, the rest are average or below average

 

 

 

It depends on the age range. I'm 24 and the majority of women my age are considered hot. Like 80% of women between the ages of 18 to 25 are a 7 or higher on the looks scale.

 

 

Any decently attractive woman has dozens of potential suitors to choose from. The only girls who don't have suitors are the bottom 10% of women.

 

 

Meanwhile, only the top 20% of guys have many different options. The bottom 80% actually have to work and maybe get lucky in order to get some action.

 

 

That's the problem.

[The Outlaw]

Since you're working out, dressing better and going out, do it for you. Not them. Find something, anything constructive to make yourself happy. It's entirely possible. It's been five long years for me but I don't miss it. I'm very content with flying solo. It will happen when it happens for you, but you can't give up.

[GuitarGuy7]

Honestly, I think the best route for me at this point in my life is to just get a prostitute to get it over with.

 

 

For reasons unknown to me, women are not attracted to me. But my want and need for any sort of intimacy isn't going away any time soon.

 

 

I know prostitutes won't fix all of my problems, but it will be a start. Maybe if I can find someone who's willing to teach me how to be a good lover, it would make me more confident in myself so when the time comes to actually have sex with a non-working girl, then I will be less nervous. Plus iv'e always wanted to know what sex is like. And it's not like I can simply go on Tinder and find a girl to randomly hook up with. I'm not attractive enough nor have good enough "game" to be able to do that, unless the girl is an absolute ogre but I don't think I would enjoy that.

[preraph]

Have you gone on one of those websites where you can post a photo and have people rate you or match you, just so you know how other perceive you? It can be brutal. I read a couple of those a while back when someone else from here used it. I forget the website, sorry.

 

The other thing is if you have a friend who is just a friend but who has a lot of dating experience or is even married, someone who won't just do what you want to hear, you could have them look at OLD with you and without your input, choose likely candidates for who might be attracted to you.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

GG, describe your ideal girl. Not just looks, but personality, goals, interests, etc.

[greymatter]

I would never date a guy who had ever slept with a prostitute.

 

I don't think it's going to bolster your self esteem to have to pay for sex.

 

I won't even get into my feelings about how prostitution degrades women and perpetuates problematic male attitudes toward women.

 

I wouldn't touch a guy who did this. In your effort to make a breakthrough with women, you may be putting another barrier in place if you pursue being with prostitutes. That is, if you are honest enough with future partners to admit you've slept with hired "professionals."

[The Outlaw]

Honestly, I think the best route for me at this point in my life is to just get a prostitute to get it over with.

 

 

For reasons unknown to me, women are not attracted to me. But my want and need for any sort of intimacy isn't going away any time soon.

 

 

I know prostitutes won't fix all of my problems, but it will be a start. Maybe if I can find someone who's willing to teach me how to be a good lover, it would make me more confident in myself so when the time comes to actually have sex with a non-working girl, then I will be less nervous. Plus iv'e always wanted to know what sex is like. And it's not like I can simply go on Tinder and find a girl to randomly hook up with. I'm not attractive enough nor have good enough "game" to be able to do that, unless the girl is an absolute ogre but I don't think I would enjoy that.

 

Honestly, I don't think that's the way to go. I'm not trying to sound preachy, but there are more risks involved if you hire a prostitute.

[GuitarGuy7]

Have you gone on one of those websites where you can post a photo and have people rate you or match you' date=' just so you know how other perceive you? It can be brutal. I read a couple of those a while back when someone else from here used it. [/quote']

 

 

Yes I have. I have been rated as average. Not hot, not extremely ugly, just average. I usually get around a 5 or 6 out of 10.

 

One thing that holds me back is my 5 ft 3 height (which is unfixable) and my overall physique. I am naturally skinny (not super skinny, but overall skinny) and combine that with my short stature and higher sounding voice, I can often perceived as younger and not as masculine.

 

Which is why iv'e been trying to hit the gym and bulk up. I go to the gym at least 3 times a week and don't eat too much sugary processed foods or drink any soda. So i'm actually trying to do something about improving my physique. Iv'e bulked up about 7-8 pounds and have definitely gotten stronger, but there is really only so much you can do.

 

 

 

GG, describe your ideal girl. Not just looks, but personality, goals, interests, etc.

 

 

That's a good question.

 

 

I would say my ideal girl is someone who I have compatible interests with. I'm a musician who likes playing music but I also like being active and doing creative things such as photography, videography, working on the farm, so I would like to meet a girl who has the same interests as myself. Especially a girl who likes being active as well because I would like for us to go on hikes together or maybe if she likes to play music, we could play music together.

 

I want a girl who is kind, patient, understanding.

 

 

As for looks, I am not super picky when it comes to looks but I do want a girl who I am at least attracted to physically. I prefer girls who are around my height or shorter, but it's not that big of a deal if a girl is 2-4 inches taller than me and we get along, as long as she's open to dating a shorter man. I'm not really attracted to obese girls or black girls (sorry) so that would be a deal-breaker.

 

 

I don't want to date a girl who is either waiting for marriage to have sex or someone who doesn't want to have sex very often, that would be a deal-breaker for me. Because I am a very sexual person and don't want someone who doesn't want it.

[GuitarGuy7]

I would never date a guy who had ever slept with a prostitute.

 

I don't think it's going to bolster your self esteem to have to pay for sex.

 

I won't even get into my feelings about how prostitution degrades women and perpetuates problematic male attitudes toward women.

 

I wouldn't touch a guy who did this. In your effort to make a breakthrough with women, you may be putting another barrier in place if you pursue being with prostitutes. That is, if you are honest enough with future partners to admit you've slept with hired "professionals."

 

 

 

 

That's the thing, if I did ever sleep with a prostitute, it would never be something I tell my girlfriend. Because I know that the majority of women do find it a deal-breaker. Which is really too bad to be honest because the media has brainwashed you into believing that buying sex is such an evil thing and all prostitutes are trafficked victims.

Edited August 26, 2019 by GuitarGuy7

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

One thing that holds me back is my 5 ft 3 height (which is unfixable) and my overall physique. I am naturally skinny (not super skinny, but overall skinny) and combine that with my short stature and higher sounding voice, I can often perceived as younger and not as masculine.

 

I think this is probably why you haven't had much luck . Most women don't want to weigh more than their partner/be bigger than him. Unfortunately, short men really do have it tougher in dating, especially online dating.

 

Have you tried going to an open mic night? (Or more than one) Trivia night?

 

That's the thing, if I did ever sleep with a prostitute, it would never be something I tell my girlfriend. Because I know that the majority of women do find it a deal-breaker.

 

So then what happens after you've done it once? You keep doing it? Settle for just once until you find someone?

Edited August 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Merge

[Gretchen12]

Four? Almost seven here for me, guitar guy. Wait. We both play guitar. Maybe that's our problem.

 

Guess we should quit.

 

I probably would for love at this point as sad as that is.

 

Haha no don't quit guitar. I read there was a study that showed women are more attracted to guitar guys. They had men approach women, carrying their guitar vs. no guitar. The guitar carrying men got more phone numbers.

[greymatter]

That's the thing, if I did ever sleep with a prostitute, it would never be something I tell my girlfriend. Because I know that the majority of women do find it a deal-breaker. Which is really too bad to be honest because the media has brainwashed you into believing that buying sex is such an evil thing and all prostitutes are trafficked victims.

 

I haven't been brainwashed by the media and your comments about the issues surrounding prostitution are quite telling and communicate a lot more about you than you realize. I have a feeling that your lack of success with women is significantly less about your appearance than you think, and a lot more about how you think and what you believe.

[HiCrunchy]

I'm 24 too.

Single since 2016. 3 years of wanting love and emotional connection. And nothing...Not sure what advice to give u, but just to let u know, u r not alone

[alphamale]

what do you look like GG7? Height, weight? How are your looks? Are you heavy or skinny or in between? Hair colour and skin tone/race.

 

How is your confidence? Can you approach girls easily or is it difficult?

[GuitarGuy7]

I think this is probably why you haven't had much luck . Most women don't want to weigh more than their partner/be bigger than him. Unfortunately, short men really do have it tougher in dating, especially online dating.

 

 

 

So then what happens after you've done it once? You keep doing it? Settle for just once until you find someone?

 

 

 

Oh yeah, I definitely think you're right. What sucks about being a short man is that no matter who you are and what you accomplish, you're automatically going to written off by 90% of women, and you can't do anything about it.

 

I go to the gym, keep myself in shape, have a decent job, have many different hobbies and interests but at the end of the day, I won't even get a chance because 90% women will look at me and automatically write me off because i'm only 5 ft 3 and fairly skinny. And the worst part about it is that you can't do anything about it.

 

 

 

 

As for prostitution, if I ever did it, I probably woudn't do it very often and certainly not when I am in a relationship with anybody. The reason why is because I live in the United States where prostitution is illegal so it would be too risky to do it all the time. I could always go to a brothel in Nevada where it is 100% legal, but it's a 20 hour drive from where I live.

 

If Nevada were under 10 hours away, I would have probably gone already.

[Mysterio]

Whats sex with a hooker going to accomplish. No one can tell if your a virgin as a male.

 

I think that you and I and others. We really have to let go of the way that love will come for us. One thing that is consistent is that those that are looking heavy for love. Its not coming to us. I think its going to take some effort/prayer to just live our lives. It comes when it comes. So that the women that fall in love with us, do not experience the heaviness of the lack of love that we have not received on a consistent basis.

 

I think for me. Just based on my past. A love relationship will come out of the blue when I am not thinking on it. Never when I put effort into it.

[LauraXX]

So when you tried OLD, did you get matches and the girls weren't interested in a 2nd date? Or was the problem getting matches in the first place? Did you mention your height in your profile?

 

 

If you didn't, and still didn't get matches, your height is probably not your only problem. However, I have to agree with the others that it's definitely not ideal. I think a lot of women prefer a partner who is taller or at least not much shorter than them. Just like you say obese women are a deal-breaker for you, a certain height is important for a lot of women. And it's not a conscious decision either.

 

 

 

I recently matched with a guy on Tinder and shortly before our first date he sent me a message saying: "Btw - I'm only 5.4. Just saying, because if that's a dealbreaker for you, we can still cancel." At that point we had already chatted for a while and I quite liked him. So I didn't really mind. Not sure if I would have swiped right on him had he mentioned his height on his profile. I think that was quite a good strategy.... he was still being upfront and honest, but told me after we had already established some kind of connection. So, yep, we went on the date and it was nice

[normal person]

What are you expecting women to like about you that you think they're overlooking?

 

 

As for looks, I am not super picky when it comes to looks but I do want a girl who I am at least attracted to physically. I prefer girls who are around my height or shorter, but it's not that big of a deal if a girl is 2-4 inches taller than me and we get along, as long as she's open to dating a shorter man. I'm not really attracted to obese girls or black girls (sorry) so that would be a deal-breaker.

 

 

I don't want to date a girl who is either waiting for marriage to have sex or someone who doesn't want to have sex very often, that would be a deal-breaker for me. Because I am a very sexual person and don't want someone who doesn't want it.

 

Ok. You have some requirements. What do you think women are looking for, what requirements do you think they have? What's the overlap between that and the first question?