I don't understand why women aren't attracted to me.

[ZA Dater]

OP I find some of the responses here fascinating and wish for perspective these people could tell us about "their" dating success and how many of the ideas they propose THEY have actually done and how successful those ideas/"solutions" were.

 

I get where you are coming from, I am older but basically in the same situation and FYI I am 5.9 tall, height never helped my prospects at all. Nor does being slim and fairly sporty so those who preach gym this and gym that, I'd argue that's an endeavour done exclusively for ones own health rather then attracting women.

 

How many real solutions are there to your issues, honestly, I'd wager none barring paying. OR dating people you don't find attractive at all.

 

All you can do is keep trying I guess BUT bear in mind despite what women, some in this very thread actually, say about romance, women don't care about that, they care about what you can give them, how good you will look to show off to their friends, how much prestige you can add to their life.

 

Look around you, I'd be surprised if I am wrong about this because where I live its 100% true almost all of the time among better looking women. It depends what you want, you might find a women with few options who is prepared to date you but then again why has she got few options?

 

For years I danced around women, subjected myself to their condescending attitude in the dating context. The world owes us guys nothing but also owes women nothing either, for all the preaching about equal right, the place equal rights doesn't apply is dating.

 

What I would do if I were you, go the middle ground and go for a massage, it would get you some interaction without all the risk and taboo of paying.

[Mysterio]

We have an 18 and 24 on our board aggitated about not having a love relationship. Plus a half dozen of us as well.

 

What has come in this cycle of life, to the point where having a love relationship is messing with our emotions and mental health, to the point again, where the word suicide or not wanting to live without love is being batted about.

 

Are a lot of us hanging on one factor of our lives as so huge that with out it. Our lives are incomplete. Factoring other things. Do we all think that our family/friends that have love relationships are really happy all the time.

 

I think a lot of us have to put into perpective that having a love relationship is part of our lives, but not our whole lives.

 

I would love to have a relationship with a woman inwhich we enjoy each others company with interesting conversations and laughs. We do social and recreational activities and physical affection. Why does it have to be this hard. I don't know. Perhaps a lot of us have to let go of how Love will come into our lives. If we live to 80/90 does it matter much.

 

Why some people have more friends than others, or why some people are never are without lovers is a mystery.

 

Here is my life since 2012.

 

2012 Meet DD on E-Harmoney and went out for 5 months. Broke up over me not wanting kids. She has one now due to Invitro. No Man.

 

2013. AK was a waitress at my work. It took a month to get together. Went out one fantasitc date from my view. Never did we go out again and she was moving to another city. The Date went the way I wanted it to for the most part.

 

2015 met T on Match.com. Talked on there for 5 weeks. Met in week 6. There was no chemistry in real life. Although we just met.

 

2017. Asked my Aerobics instructer RB for lunch. Told her I had a little crush on her. She told me she was married. Even though she does not wear a wedding ring. She never really stated that she was married when I asked her out for Lunch.

 

Its now basically at the end of August 2019. I have had no romantic prospects this year. I did try with one woman on Match, but she has not gotten back to me yet. I saw her by coincidence at a Jazz event, but she looked like she was on a date.

 

So should I give in and give up or think that my life is nothing without a love match. No way. I don't like being single and not having a warm loving relationship. I just have to accept that its temporary. The best is yet to come. I am not just chilling and if a love match comes my way. I will explore it. Its just that I can't let it consume my thoughts.

[ZA Dater]

We have an 18 and 24 on our board aggitated about not having a love relationship. Plus a half dozen of us as well.

 

 

 

 

With respect the difference is the OP has never ha any sort of relationship at all.

[HiCrunchy]

With respect the difference is the OP has never ha any sort of relationship at all.

 

I'm the 24 year old and I've only had a 6 month deal 3 years ago...surely that counts...

[HiCrunchy]

I'm the 24 year old and I've only had a 6 month deal 3 years ago...surely that counts...

 

I've basically been single my entire life

[normal person]

I just want to know why... I want to know why that women arne't attracted to me. I am so blind to my shortcomings, I can't see what I am doing is wrong.

 

What is it about you that you think women aren't seeing?

 

Or, judging by some of your more recent posts, what do you think they are seeing that's turning them off?

[preraph]

We've talked a lot about this before, shortness in men. Not everyone is picky about it. I never was, but what someone said earlier about there's short and then there's short is true. We get guys on here who think they're short at five-seven or five-eight. To me, that's not short. But under five-five is going to be short enough to impact your attraction, I'm afraid.

 

I think all women find tall more attractive, but I don't think the majority of them exclude those their height or an inch shorter. But it is odd because we were talking about short women and someone said they are the ones who seem to go for tall guys the most. My comment was since they're petite, that makes them more attractive to all guys, so they can often get tall better looking guys.

 

But I thought about it randomly overnight and I tried to think of a petite woman who was with a short man -- and I couldn't think of one at all! I'm sure once you get into different cultures, you'll see it plenty. Like I believe it's common in the Hispanic culture, where there are just a lot of shorter people. So maybe dating Hispanic is an option but there are lots of cultural differences, like religion, not believing in birth control, there being a designated head of the family (male) who generally gets to boss some of the family around.

 

We already know Asian isn't the answer because it's currently the trend for Asian women to be sought after so much so that their poor male counterparts can barely get a date.

 

It's hard for the short guy, no doubt. But you play the hand you're dealt and hope for the best.

 

The one couple I knew where the man was really really short, she was a good personality where he was nearly intolerably childish and intrusive, and she had red hair, cut very short, and was maybe 30 pounds overweight (it was really just the way she was built, thick) and she was taller than him but not tall.

[alphamale]

We've talked a lot about this before, shortness in men. Not everyone is picky about it.

 

I would guess that many women who are looking to have kids will avoid shorter men so that their kids to be won't be shorter than average. women know instinctively that shorter kids (especially boys) will be at a disadvantage in many areas of life

[elaine567]

I would guess that many women who are looking to have kids will avoid shorter men so that their kids to be won't be shorter than average. women know instinctively that shorter kids (especially boys) will be at a disadvantage in many areas of life

 

Of course. Genes are important.

Men apparently don't think that way when they deliberately choose small women like Asian women as partners.

Do they really think they will only have short daughters and tall sons... or does their individual attraction to such women, supersede any consideration for their children.

[preraph]

I guess. I'm not the type to worry about what the kids look like. Have you heard the song by Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty, "You're the Reason Our Kids are Ugly"?

 

 

I just think it's more about attraction. And through no fault of the short person, if they're really small, there can be a creep factor because they begin to remind you of children and you just can't go there.

 

I guess dating in shorter cultures is the best hope, unless you can develop mad skills like Angus (AC/DC) who is 5'2".

[elaine567]

Short women prefer tall men too. Why wouldn't they?

BUT

Masculine "bulk" is attractive. It is about perceived power and strength.

Muscular or even chubbier guys who are short, are usually seen as more attractive than skinny and short...

[preraph]

Angus' wife is a good foot taller than him. She looks like she's his mother.

[GuitarGuy7]

I would guess that many women who are looking to have kids will avoid shorter men so that their kids to be won't be shorter than average. women know instinctively that shorter kids (especially boys) will be at a disadvantage in many areas of life

 

 

The thing is that, my family isn't known for being short, which makes my case that much more unusual. My dad is 5 ft 10, one of my grandpas is 6 ft tall, while the other is 6 ft 3. In fact, there are no men in my family (dad, grandpas, cousins) who are under 5 ft 9. I'm the only one.

 

 

Even with the women in my family, most of them are average. My mom is 5 ft 5 and my grandma is 5 ft 3 so even though we're the same height, she's only an inch or two below average compared to me being 6-7 inches below average.

 

 

So the fact that I am much shorter than my family (when adjusted for percentile-wise) is a statistical abnormality. I must have some gotten some unusual genetics that somehow made me not grow properly and resulted in an unusually short height, especially considering my family history. Either that or my mom is a cuck. So my kids could actually wind up still being average or even taller, because height does run in my family.

[elaine567]

Either that or my mom is a cuck.

 

A cuck is a male term, why would you call your mother that?

[ZA Dater]

The thing is that, my family isn't known for being short, which makes my case that much more unusual. My dad is 5 ft 10, one of my grandpas is 6 ft tall, while the other is 6 ft 3. In fact, there are no men in my family (dad, grandpas, cousins) who are under 5 ft 9. I'm the only one.

 

.

 

Any women who rejects you based on height isn't worth dating because it shows a level of apathy I wouldn't find attractive and nor should you. Its a classic example of women acting because of what society says. Women couldn't care less about height but society made it important for who know what reasons and nobody bothered to challenge this, its easier to go along with it than challenge.

 

There is one thing you can do which might make you feel better, be smarter, go out of your way to outsmart people because when you get rejected you know you are the smarter person.

[elaine567]

Who says "women" couldn't care less about height?

[alphamale]

Of course. Genes are important.

Men apparently don't think that way when they deliberately choose small women like Asian women as partners.

Do they really think they will only have short daughters and tall sons... or does their individual attraction to such women, supersede any consideration for their children.

I see a good number of these petite Asian women with above average height gentlemen...a Chinese woman I used to work with was around 5'1", her white bread American husband was around 6'5". they didn't have any kids at that time...

 

The thing is that, my family isn't known for being short, which makes my case that much more unusual. My dad is 5 ft 10, one of my grandpas is 6 ft tall, while the other is 6 ft 3. In fact, there are no men in my family (dad, grandpas, cousins) who are under 5 ft 9. I'm the only one.

ok GG7 my dad is 5'6", my ma (bless her soul) was around 5'3". I am the oldest of three boys and i'm 5'11", my middle bro is 5'6" and the youngest is 6' tall. Go figure

[Moves Like Jagger]

I live in a large, multi-cultural, American city that has a large Hispanic population. A lot of the women don't care about height. Many of them are not religious or don't expect the guy to be the dominant one in the family. There is also a lot of Asian women in the city. Height is overrated. I go out and see short guys with women all the time.

 

The problem is that women your age are at the peak of their looks. While, there are a lot of guys that are chasing the women. As Enigma said, average-looking guys have low value in the dating market. Young women can be really selective because they get approached by guys.

 

Nothing from your posts indicate that you are different from the hordes of other average-looking guys. There are plenty of average-looking guys that go to the gym or wear nice clothes. Someone from another thread was right when that person said that you were following the 1980's pre-Internet dating advice of joining a bunch of groups where you ask the same, interview questions before you ask out the women out on a date.

 

Instead, you should be talking to more women in places like parties, socials, networking events, Meetup groups, and yes, bars and nightclubs. About interview questions, I never heard you talk about your conversational style. I remember a thread in another website where some guy said that he was asking the same, old questions to women about where she was from and what she was doing for work. That is so predictable. I'm not saying that you should do something gimmicky like performing card tricks or doing palm reading. However, there are other guys that are connecting with women because these guys are giving opinions and making observations.

 

Examples that I heard another guy use. "That neighborhood has this amazing restaurant. There is a picture of the Blues Brothers in there."

 

"The people in that city were pretty unfriendly." The guys look at his hand, treating it like a cell phone. "The people would say that they were not sure if they could fit you into their schedule."

 

"Do you know that people use their shoe to open a bottle?"

[alphamale]

I just compliment the women on their shoes. It's a great ice breaker...

 

"Your shoes are beautiful, where did you get them?"

"God your outfit really matches your shoes, you really know how to dress"

"I love a woman that wears sexy heels"

 

And so on...

[Veronica73]

All you can do is keep trying I guess BUT bear in mind despite what women, some in this very thread actually, say about romance, women don't care about that, they care about what you can give them, how good you will look to show off to their friends, how much prestige you can add to their life.

 

Look around you, I'd be surprised if I am wrong about this because where I live its 100% true almost all of the time among better looking women. It depends what you want, you might find a women with few options who is prepared to date you but then again why has she got few options?

It sounds like you are talking about yourself. And also, to even be talking about “rights” when dating is....:0....eek. I don’t even know what to say about that. Nobody is entitled to date anybody.

 

But I thought about it randomly overnight and I tried to think of a petite woman who was with a short man -- and I couldn't think of one at all! I'm sure once you get into different cultures, you'll see it plenty. Like I believe it's common in the Hispanic culture, where there are just a lot of shorter people. So maybe dating Hispanic is an option but there are lots of cultural differences...

This is what it’s like with the people I know. Guys who are are 6’4’’ + seem to always be with girls who are under 5’3’’. And vice versa. Seems like kissing could get pretty awkward, but it seems that that’s what they prefer.

Edited August 28, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
rude

[GuitarGuy7]

Iv'e been starting to wear lifts every time I go out so now i'm about 5 ft 4. I mean i'm still pretty short but every inch matters.

[5x5]

Iv'e considered leg lengthening surgery as well but that's pretty expensive for only about 2-3 inches of extra growth. And at 5 ft 3, I would only grow to be about 5 ft 5.5 which is still a lot shorter than average so not really worth it.

 

Iv'e been starting to wear lifts every time I go out so now i'm about 5 ft 4. I mean i'm still pretty short but every inch matters.

 

I don't get why you think your height is such an issue, that you have considered such extraordinary measures to address something that isn't wrong at all.

 

Being short isn't a disability.

 

It's hard for the short guy, no doubt. But you play the hand you're dealt and hope for the best.

 

I don't think it's hard at all.

 

I am 162cm tall - 5'3" and I have never lacked for very attractive non-overweight female suitors from when I was a teenager through to my late 40s, ranging in height from 5'2" through circa 6'2".

 

Although I have never been intimate with any women form the United States. I have been with women from Australia, England, Scotland, Ireland, Israel, Japan, Portugal, Italy, Spain, France and Germany. Most of whom asked me out, pursued me, picked me up got with me at parties clubs and the like. Some have also dumped boyfriends to be with me, and a small number have cheated on their husbands to be with me as well )although I have turned down most of those offers.

 

I have also been married twice, and have have had other women propose marriage to me including my current wife who I have been with for 23 years.

 

It really has been very easy for me.

 

Anyway GuitarGuy7, wearing lifts and undertaking other such measures won't help you. Wearing lifts is like wearing a flashing neon sign saying "look at me I'm short and have issues and hangups".

 

At the end of the day, you would do well to own your height! Own who you are, like yourself and draw confidence from owning and liking yourself.

 

If I worried about my height and considered it a limitation like you do, my life experience with women might resemble yours. Yet I haven't, so I have gotten laid like tile.

Edited August 28, 2019 by 5x5

[MeganDoll]

Have you gone on one of those websites where you can post a photo and have people rate you or match you, just so you know how other perceive you? It can be brutal. I read a couple of those a while back when someone else from here used it. I forget the website, sorry.

 

The other thing is if you have a friend who is just a friend but who has a lot of dating experience or is even married, someone who won't just do what you want to hear, you could have them look at OLD with you and without your input, choose likely candidates for who might be attracted to you.

 

How could they see who’s attracted to him by looking at a picture?

 

That’s why I’m not a fan of old as much as meeting people to face.

 

Old puts way too much stock into appereance and that’s hardly a solid foundation for a relationship.

 

Though by judging from a lot of answers in here that’s what a lot of you seem to be most concerned about in the opposite sex and it’s no wonder why a lot of people in here are single and can’t find the right person.

[preraph]

Megan, surveys have shown that most people don't even read the profiles and just look at the pictures. That's why it's relevant.

[MeganDoll]

Megan, surveys have shown that most people don't even read the profiles and just look at the pictures. That's why it's relevant.

 

That’s why old is kinda stupid imo

 

Who is interested in someone strictly by a picture?

 

Unless somebody is so into looks that it trumps anything else they are looking for a mate which isn’t the best recipe for a relationship to grow