jackmastadon Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 Are there any women who don't do this? When you're out with your date she generates a conversation with the dude at the next table? I would like just for once to have my girl all to myself. She says I'm insecure. Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 Dump her. She has no relationship boundaries which means that she is the type that can't protect herself from the attentions of other men and is more likely than not to cheat if the opportunity presents herself. A woman with a good sense of self-esteem and a good grasp of what romantic relationship boundaries are, would never ingratiate herself to another guy when in a committed relationship. If nothing else, she's rude and insensitive and has little respect for you to be doing such things. You're not insecure, you're normal and she's an attention W****. Quick question though: Does she talk to other woman at the next table if that is who is sitting beside your table? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jackmastadon Posted August 25, 2019 Author Share Posted August 25, 2019 no. she does not. or, if it's a group of women, or two of them sitting nearby it never happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 Well, then she's just an attention junkie who gets her validation from the attention of other men. Let me guess: Her social media is wide open for anyone to view and she has tons of guy "friends." (???) She's showing you who she is and isn't willing to change since you've already talked to her about it and instead of trying to cut it out, she turned it around on you and did her best to make you feel inadequate in some way (says you are insecure). pfffft. Up to you if you stay with her but you're always going to get what you've already gotten (and most likely worse in time). 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 no. she does not. or, if it's a group of women, or two of them sitting nearby it never happens. Oh dear... Not good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jackmastadon Posted August 25, 2019 Author Share Posted August 25, 2019 true. wide open social media. glued to her phone. not the first time, and this was the worst incident ever. we've gone over it time and time again. same girl posts from before. i'm a complete idiot for staying. it's just that i believed in it very much. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 You can't be that hard up to stay in this. Dump her yesterday 3 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 She's your date, not his. You've seen it already. Dump her. Not only does she not have boundaries, she doesn't have any respect for you. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 Is she just gregarious socially in general? Like does she also talk to the women at the next table if there's no men there, or is she seriously trying to meet new men? Some people are just socially gregarious. But if it's always men, no boundaries. Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 ^^^Op said this to your question: no. she does not. or, if it's a group of women, or two of them sitting nearby it never happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 true. wide open social media. glued to her phone. not the first time, and this was the worst incident ever. we've gone over it time and time again. same girl posts from before. i'm a complete idiot for staying. it's just that i believed in it very much. Well, you've given it the old college try. Time to give yourself a reality check and do what you gotta do. It won't be easy but in time you'll be glad you did when you are free to find a chica that not only loves you but also likes you enough to respect you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 She is just not "relationship material". Sorry to say. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 That's disrespectful and rude. Obviously you two have different views about this...save yourself the bs and kick her to the curb. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 Are there any women who don't do this? Why are we focusing on this one date when your words tell us that this is your experience with all women? (Either that or you've only dated one women ever and are wondering if all women do it) It would be helpful if you further elaborate on your experiences with all these women and why they are apparently not interested in focusing on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jackmastadon Posted August 26, 2019 Author Share Posted August 26, 2019 Why are we focusing on this one date when your words tell us that this is your experience with all women? (Either that or you've only dated one women ever and are wondering if all women do it) It would be helpful if you further elaborate on your experiences with all these women and why they are apparently not interested in focusing on you. Maybe I wasn't clear. We were together 4 years. Now That I think about i don't recall and of the othe ladies I dated a long time chatting up other men while we are out. None of them insisted on being able to go hang out alone with their guy friends, and in turn accuse me of being insecure or of having jeolousy issues. I'm not sure you read my responses above, but she is glued to her phone, often goes off the map where i can't find her. So maybe my problem is just plain stupidity. Right, dude? Love makes us stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted August 26, 2019 Share Posted August 26, 2019 (edited) Are there any women who don't do this? When you're out with your date she generates a conversation with the dude at the next table? I would like just for once to have my girl all to myself. She says I'm insecure. OK. I'll say it. She is right, you are insecure. You should both be talking to the dude at the next table when it comes up. You wouldn't even be saying anything about this if you didn't feel threatened by the dude she is talking to. So, yes, you are being insecure. Whether or not you should keep seeing each other is a totally different issue. But I suspect if anyone dumps anyone she will be dumping you. Insecure behavor from a man is one of the most unattractive things a guy can do. It does not matter if you disagree that you are insecure, what matters is that she sees you that way and she will make her decisions based on what she thinks, not what you think. Edited August 26, 2019 by PRW 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted August 26, 2019 Share Posted August 26, 2019 From what you've posted she's pushing your insecure/controlling button to justify her behavior. To swallow her behavior and accept it as norm just makes you a doormat. You're staying in this is getting you what? Link to post Share on other sites
notbroken Posted August 26, 2019 Share Posted August 26, 2019 There is a difference between talking and flirting. Is she flirting? Does she seem 'available'? I think you have a problem from your description. She is going to seek validation - and find it - from other men. Run! This won't end well if you don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jackmastadon Posted August 27, 2019 Author Share Posted August 27, 2019 OK. I'll say it. She is right, you are insecure. You should both be talking to the dude at the next table when it comes up. You wouldn't even be saying anything about this if you didn't feel threatened by the dude she is talking to. So, yes, you are being insecure. Whether or not you should keep seeing each other is a totally different issue. But I suspect if anyone dumps anyone she will be dumping you. "...when it comes up" No. because, as I said above, it is she who without fail generates a conversation with a dude whenever we are out. Never a lady. And, I did join the conversation and was friendly. That led to him coming over to our table and putting his hand on her. I knew if I'd kept my mouth shut he probably would not have come over. But, I took the advice you are now lending me. and that's what happened. i thought it was innappropriate. You are either are not in a relationship with a woman, or you don't care if dudes touch yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 This has been going on for four years!? Get out ... and go get some counseling to learn how to stand up for yourself ... this behavior demanded an exit 3.99 years ago ... Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 true. wide open social media. glued to her phone. not the first time, and this was the worst incident ever. we've gone over it time and time again. same girl posts from before. i'm a complete idiot for staying. it's just that i believed in it very much. The thing is, SHE doesn’t believe it it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs._December Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 true. wide open social media. glued to her phone. not the first time, and this was the worst incident ever. we've gone over it time and time again. same girl posts from before. i'm a complete idiot for staying. it's just that i believed in it very much. What's that you say???? A Millennial who can't put her phone down, lives her life for public consumption 24/7 on social media, is a selfie-queen, and is such an attention whore that she has to seek attention from men wherever she goes? Say it isn't so!! Golly, I never heard of this type of thing before. That's quite the catch you got there, OP. Does she also ask you to lie face down so she can wipe her shoes on your back when she gets something on her heels? I'll assume you think she's 'hot' because I can't imagine any other reason you'd allow yourself to be continually disrespected every single chance Miss Thang gets, like you've allowed for 4 years. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 Maybe I wasn't clear. We were together 4 years. Now That I think about i don't recall and of the othe ladies I dated a long time chatting up other men while we are out. None of them insisted on being able to go hang out alone with their guy friends, and in turn accuse me of being insecure or of having jeolousy issues. I'm not sure you read my responses above, but she is glued to her phone, often goes off the map where i can't find her. So maybe my problem is just plain stupidity. Right, dude? Love makes us stupid. It shouldn’t make you put up with this type of behavior. We over look things because of love. Being disrespected kind of kills off the love we feel for that person after awhile. Link to post Share on other sites
Melrose78 Posted August 28, 2019 Share Posted August 28, 2019 You need to respect yourself more. She's not interested you. If everytime you go through it she has to talk to other men, and never women, she's an attention seeker. RUN! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jackmastadon Posted August 28, 2019 Author Share Posted August 28, 2019 She still wants to have sex. Link to post Share on other sites
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