RebeccaR Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 Way too much overthinking. You broke up with him, texted him and started talking again due to your pandemic stress, ended it again and wished him well, and you’re focusing on why he didn’t wish you well back? We know he is not a stand up guy, but really what would be the point of him responding again? You are the one who broke the NC you had asked for. In terms of friendship, it’s obvious that you are not normal “friends”, so analyzing what he does in the context of friendship is silly and pointless. Link to post Share on other sites
Ha-ha Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 I wish you all the best SSE. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SSE Posted June 11, 2020 Author Share Posted June 11, 2020 I had a really bad dream. I dreamed MM came back to me and confessed his love. We were a couple and went to a house. In that house, his wife suddenly came out of a closet and started to laugh at me. She said: "Do you seriously thought he (MM) would want you for real? We're just making fun of you! He doesn't want you! You're just a fat, ugly loser that will stay alone forever, haha". They were both making fun of me. I woke up very anxious. I came to this site again to read the beautiful words you posted. However, for the moment it doesn't bring me much comfort. My anxiety level is too high. I have trouble focusing at my work (I work from home for the moment, thank god). I really don't want to end up alone. I really don't want to be envious anymore at other people that are in a relationship and have children. I really don't want to be envious at MM, his wife and their perfect life. I just don't want to think about him at all. But I also don't want him to be the last (and only) man I ever loved... That's just sad. I don't want to end up all alone, I just really don't, it scares the s*** out of me! Somewhere it also makes me scared I will never hear or see him anymore. He represented a chance of being with someone I love which I want so badly. My fear is really high at the moment. I really need some professional help. I just hate it when I dream things like that and I experience such dreams often lately. I really need some help because even my work is suffering. I start a new job in August, this cannot interfere with my new job! I want to overcome this. I need to overcome this. It's just not pleasant living this way, in pain and fear. And I experience this fear already since my early twenties, but it just keeps getting worse when aging. It really needs to stop, but I don't know how to stop them at the moment. The thoughts are really overwhelming... I don't want to life in fear anymore!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted June 11, 2020 Share Posted June 11, 2020 Just 2 points. 1 - You don't know this MM didn't cheat on his pregnant wife, you only know he didn't cheat on her with you. 2 - If he did leave his wife there is nothing in what you've written that would indicate that he would choose to start a new life with you. I'm really sorry to be blunt but everything you've shared screams single man. This isn't someone looking for his next life partner, this is someone used to seeing the vulnerabilities in people and using them to his advantage. I honestly don't know what you see in him, apart from a shared, somewhat crude sense of humour, he seems like an extremely unkind, insensitive man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SSE Posted June 15, 2020 Author Share Posted June 15, 2020 You're right. I don't know if it screams single man, because he's very comfortable in his marriage (a lot of money). Even if the marriage is bad, comfort can make people stay. Don't know if they will ever divorce. I wouldn't be surprised though if he kept cheating on her. Don't know if he will actively look for another OW, but if someone willing crosses his path, I don't think he will say no. He did mention to me once he could find another girl than me and then what with SSE? One time a colleague of ours saw him dancing sensually (using the hips) with another younger girl at the office party. He likes younger women and was very pleased he could have me (I'm 14 years younger). Stroke his ego big time. However, I'm struggling with something. During our last conversations he asked about why I broke up with my BF. It seems like he wanted me to go back to my BF, saying the relationship wasn't that bad despite of the arguments about my weight. After I discovered he had a second child and he told me he will divorce when the second child is older, he also told me not to wait for him... It seems to me like he has changed and wanted to be the good guy, not stringing me along anymore like before and telling me I shouldn't wait and basically live my own life. It's a rejection of him and no stringing along anymore. On the other hand, he did not mention anything about the second child until I asked about it... I don't know. Could he have changed and is he now the good guy (towards me)? Not towards his wife, because if I would agree, we would meet and have sex, but it seems like he's not stringing me along anymore... What do you guys think? Is my frame of mind wrong again? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 15, 2020 Share Posted June 15, 2020 If he’s not a good guy towards his wife, he will not be a good guy toward you. As they say, a leopard never changes it’s spots. Link to post Share on other sites
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