Gaining acceptance

[Darcy]

I have recently met someone with whom I had been "chatting" for a number of months. He has many of the qualities which I value and I believe he likes me too. I have some apprehensions, which unfairly perhaps, are based on past experience. The gentleman comes from a very traditional background, and while his parents would like him to follow the expectations of their culture, he prefers to make his own choices and does not practice their religion. I am a single parent - never married and I have found that some of the men I have met (and their families) have judged me badly based on my circumstances rather than the person I am. I am feeling somewhat afraid of getting close to this person because I worry about whether he and his family will truly accept me. Someone who has had children outside of marriage as I have done is not generally respected in their country of origin. I have found it very hurtful in the past to be told that my partner or his family is ashamed of me, but I don't want that fear keeping me from entering a relationship that could potentially be wonderful. Should I ask him how he feels about my being a mother and what influence his family's feelings might have or just see what develops?

[sparkle]

If you tell us what culture/background he's from, maybe someone here is familiar with that culture, and could provide some insight.

 

If you're curious about what he thinks, it would be a good idea if you just asked him about it.

 

About those guys in your past, who the heck are they to judge you? Don't let it affect you. I'm sure that if he doesn't "accept you" or is ashamed of you, he wouldn't be going out with you.

 

And if he (or any other guy you date) is the type of guy that looks down upon you, you don't need him!

 

But even if some guys are completely okay with it, they may be very close to their family/parents, and they may take their views into consideration as well. Some guys are just like that. Still, better to just ask him and find out soon, and then decide whether you want to pursue it further or cut it off now.