what makes a girl call a guy creepy? looks? age?

[fred123]

being called creepy is not nice. what is the reason behind it? many a time iv asked or flirted with a younger girl and been told by them or a friend its creepy shes 12 years younger than you. but when my friend does it who is hot its not?

[amaysngrace]

It totally depends on if she thinks he’s beneath her, in any way.

[smackie9]

Hot women and hot guys are treated differently from everyone else. Attractive people have more doors open to them, more/better job opportunities, treated better, are more or less forgiven more easily. It's in our genetic makeup to treat these people better because they seem to carry good genes.....we like to get to know them, want to be around them, be like them. It is what it is.

[smackie9]

Unattractive/socially awkward will come off as creepy yes....age doesn't always matter.

[Beendaredonedat]

Maybe its your 'game' or lack thereof that is making you come off as creepy? Sometimes its not about your looks or stature in life but rather just your demeanor.

[elaine567]

"Creepiness" is about a perceived threat. Not a threat bad enough to run away from but a threat all the same.

 

How We Decide Who's Creepy

[Gretchen12]

Same as what makes a man call a guy creepy. Not creepy to him, but to her. You're in a bar or cafe people watching, you see a creepy guy pestering a woman, you recognize it. (Then if he won't leave her alone, you go rescue her.)

[Ruby Slippers]

Generally, a man is considered creepy when he's hitting on a woman perceived to be out of his league.

[Highndry]

If she's interested = not creepy

If she's not interested = creepy

[Shining One]

It can also be very situational. My ex and I used to shower together periodically. She was usually happy when I would surprise her in the shower. One day, I surprised her in the shower and she said I was being creepy. It turned out she was just on edge that day, but my actions resulted in her being creeped out. Not too long after that, she complained that I never joined her in the shower any more, so I started doing it again.

 

In summary: Same man, same woman, same action = Sometimes creepy, sometimes not.

[preraph]

Anyone who continues to pursue after it's already been conveyed to them that the person isn't interested is creepy. It's disrespectful and pushy. So when you have a big age gap, you should just assume your attention is unwanted, even if there might be an exception once in a blue moon.

[fred123]

Anyone who continues to pursue after it's already been conveyed to them that the person isn't interested is creepy. It's disrespectful and pushy. So when you have a big age gap, you should just assume your attention is unwanted, even if there might be an exception once in a blue moon.

 

what iv discovered is that it seems to be all about looks. iv seen the way a women will look at a hot guy who says hello compared to me. iv seen it with my friends. age doesnt seem to matter.

 

anywaus this is what iv discovered based on my data and experiences

[S2B]

The way a guy acts makes him creepy.

[PRW]

There is a gazzillion YouTube videos that describe it. But a really good one I heard was explained like this:

 

1. No need to be afraid of the guy = not creepy
   
2. Knowing you need to be afraid of the guy = not creepy
   
3. Not being sure if you should be afraid of the guy = creepy
   

(Being socially awkward causes the 3rd one)

[preraph]

Fred, if she's 30 and you're 44, it's not especially creepy. If you're 36 and she's 21, it's usually going to be creepy. It's a maturity level and the fact an older guy is looking for a young immature naive woman.

[elaine567]

It's a maturity level and the fact an older guy is looking for a young immature naive woman.

That dynamic can exist in 44M/30F pairings too.

And older guys of whatever age can be seen as "creepy" trying to pick up younger women. Especially when they don't take the hint...

 

I agree that if the woman is uninterested, certain male attention can be creepy, but not all men are seen as "creepy", just because she is not interested in him.

I think PRW is right, social awkwardness does tend to attract accusations of creepiness.

Discomfort is felt, so she gets the creeps, whereas a "normal" man can make a pitch and she does not get "the creeps", even if she still isn't interested and she rejects him.

I guess the socially awkward tend to miss the "back off" vibes, so when he doesn't back off she becomes threatened and she then finds him "creepy".

[Saracena]

Though there will be some overlaps, I think everyone has their own meaning of what creepy means. Sometimes it can be completely unrelated to someone's behaviour, just purely a feeling one gets based on the way someone looks. For instance there is a reporter on TV who has very dark, if not black, eyes. There's something very sinister (and scary) about those eyes-they always give me the creeps! Literally And I'm not that easily spooked generally. I could never imagine being with someone like this in real life, ever!

[The Outlaw]

I'll give you a prime example. A few years ago, a former co worker was flirting (to put it nicely) with a girl in a store he was delivering to that had a boyfriend, but it just didn't register. He followed her around the store until she left, and he's lucky that it didn't go any further than it did. That's creepy to me. Heck, I'm a guy and I've gotten bad vibes from other guys before. Sometimes you just know.

[RecentChange]

I would say, by and large, lack of social skills makes a guy creepy. That or just being straight rude.

 

It's not noticing her obvious body language that your attention is not desired.

 

It's continuing with the attention after she has been made uncomfortable by it.

 

It's akward eye contact, uncomfortable interactions etc.

 

Let's say an older, unattractive guy is "checking me out" if I notice him, and make it clear that I see him leering, and also make it clear that I do not wish to engage (no leading him on) - as in refuse to make eye contact with him. Turn my body away from him, "close" my body language (cross arms, cross legs away from him etc) and he still is looking at me any time I glace his way? Now he is "creepy".

 

If he changes his gaze in reaction to my response - not creepy.

 

If I find him attractive, return his gaze, smile etc - then not creepy.

 

I have found "creepy" can come from young and old. Good looking and unsightly.

 

For me it's about not respecting boundaries. Not caring or understanding that I am saying "no, not interested!!" In my body language.

[mark clemson]

Fred, if she's 30 and you're 44, it's not especially creepy. If you're 36 and she's 21, it's usually going to be creepy. It's a maturity level and the fact an older guy is looking for a young immature naive woman.

 

 

Usually but not always, I get flirted with by women half my age occasionally. Not frequently, but it does happen. I don't generally try to initiate conversations with women that young (for obvious reasons). But sometimes social pleasantries is all it takes to start them up apparently.

 

I think it might seem creepy to an outside observer actually. But the ones who start flirting don't seem to mind one bit.

 

Note: obviously none of this has ever turned into anything besides light conversations.

 

OP, I think you're onto something with the interest level of the woman impacting their response. Consider trying to do everything you reasonably can to make yourself attractive to women. They will probably tolerate a lot more interest.

 

One important thing, I think, is to not show much interest in them (beyond normal social conventions) until you receive a signal of some kind. This might take the form of a smile or her starting a conversation. I get (lightly) flirted with a lot, and do my share of initiating it. But I don't bother with anything beyond normal pleasantries unless I get *something* from the woman.

 

Normally a smile and a bit of eye contact may be enough. You can start a light conversation on that signal. If she shuts it down, don't pursue anything. But I'd say 50/50 she continues with conversation without it becoming awkward. Woman generally enjoy flirting IME, once comfortable.

[preraph]

Old quotes:

 

"Your freedom ends where mine begins."

 

"'No' is a complete sentence."

[mark clemson]

Also, remember that many if not most women have had to put up with chasing, sometimes aggressive chasing, from men they weren't interested in. So, those experiences are going to factor in to how they view men generally, especially I think those who start initiating flirting without getting an "all clear" from the woman first.

[frus69]

If you are old and you dont have the looks or social status to make it up, you will be seen as creepy.

[chillii]

l mean l've had 80yr old women try flirting with me , to me that's creepy.

And l've had plenty of girls 30yrs younger than me flirt , and no l'm not rich nor drive fancy cars.

 

But in your case , it's not the 12 years as such , although it can be if your of the older type but if your young for your age then 12yrs is nothing it meets in the middle .

So basically l'd go with what others have said, if she sees you in that way it's not creepy, but if she doesn't and those girls obviously haven't , then it is.

l'd add to though, that some people of both, are just awkward too and very obvious if they attempt to flirt with you, or might be all eyes or practically with tongue out , and stuff like that is def' just plain creepy.

[elaine567]

An accusation of "creepiness" is also a pretty good way of stopping a flirty and chasing man in his tracks.

Whether she actually finds him creepy or not.

 

It is best not to get to the point where she feels so cornered she has to get nasty to get the message across.