LauraXX Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 For me it's really not about age or looks but about respecting boundaries. If somebody tries to flirt with me and I'm not interested and don't smile back at him etc. and he just continues to stare at me or follow me around... that's definitely creepy. However, if somebody gives it a shot but totally accepts when I'm not interested... I'm just flattered. I ended up in a bar with my friends a few weeks ago, a weird "hole in the wall" kind of place. There was a drunk old guy at the bar who looked retty rough. Was probably in his 70s and about 30y my senior. He smiled at me and came over to us at one point. I was fully expecting that he'd hit on me in a creepy way and braced myself. But he just said "You seem like a very nice person!" I said "Oh, thanks" And then he just turned around and left and didn't speak to me again. I thought that was actually quite charming 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 IME with women, they call guys creepy who don't get the message immediately that the guy is, at that moment, unattractive and is to git now. Creepy clueless guy. Fortunately, harsh language is protected for women. They don't generally follow it up with violence so can, and often do, call guys names with impunity. Most of the time it's effective and creepy clueless guy mutters to himself and wanders off. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted August 30, 2019 Share Posted August 30, 2019 I am trying to think back to occasions when I felt a guy was creepy. One occasion was a guy who kept staring across a room. Whenever I looked up, he was staring. He stared directly at me and did not blink. He did not smile or chat to the people near him, he just stared across the room. I found that intimidating and unpleasant. A dog would react badly to someone staring at them so intensely in an unsmiling manner; it would be seen as a sign of aggression. Just to add to my joys, the same guy came over to me at a different social space and outright asked me if I would have sex with him! Of course I said no. His behaviour was not normal and it confirmed my feelings of 'creepiness'. Another guy had a dominating tendency. He did not listen when I spoke to him, and tried to tell me what to do. He asked questions about who I was seeing, when I didn't know him well enough. Acquaintances don't usually ask such questions. Later on, after he had a brief relationship with someone else in the same social circle, he stalked her and ended up being arrested several times. He never did acknowledge doing anything wrong, despite restraining orders. He seemed mentally unwell. A different guy I found creepy was a friend of a friend. For some reason, whenever I was in his company I felt uneasy. He was a bit of a loner (not a problem) and his hobby was photography. Completely without justification, I felt this guy could be a voyeur. I don't know why but I could picture him doing that. This guy never approached me but I just always felt he was creepy. I don't think creepiness is related to physical attractiveness. There are guys I am not remotely physically attracted to (and vice versa no doubt!) but who I do not find creepy. I suppose I do not feel safe with a person I feel is creepy. Maybe there is some inauthenticity with the person they are presenting and the way they feel underneath which creates an impression of dissonance and therefore lack of trust. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 30, 2019 Share Posted August 30, 2019 This made me remember a very old situation in a record store where I worked. One of the managers was very lascivious. He was average looking but he was a shift manager. This was before there was anything anyone could do about it. We had a woman working there who looked like Christy Brinkley. Repeatedly he would make passes at her and comments about her boobs and just obnoxious things, and it was clear she had no interested in him, so I just can't imagine what would make someone keep it up. One day, he just went up and stood in front of her and stared at her chest, acting like he was tortured or whatever. She looked at him like a Blue Jay looks at a bug and took her time just looking right at him saying nothing, and then she said, "You worm." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted August 31, 2019 Share Posted August 31, 2019 I've heard police often say to "listen to your gut instinct". Even if it's wrong better safe than sorry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 If she likes you, attracted to you, okay, if not, then you may be creepy. It is all opinion. If the man is much older, it is creepy. (Unless maybe he is rich or a celebrity type.) If you are not handsome or a weird looking to her, then you're supposedly creepy. Don't let the word bother you. Link to post Share on other sites
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