Why do average men have a lower value on online dating sites?

[5x5]

Not really, one of his recent ones worked, had a car etc. In fact most of his pretty suitors with one exception that I am aware of, like his current one have been older than him and have had jobs cars etc.

[PRW]

although I must say that I've met some very good looking men who are just weird and lack confidence with women

 

I've also met some looks-challenged men who are very confident and never lack for dates

 

it's all a crap shoot

Had a good example of a guy who has money and looks and couldn't get a girl to go dance with him and ended up looking needy and butt-hurt.

 

The guy with looks in a lot of cases have no real "game" because they have never needed to, they got by for free on the natural assets. But when that fails them they don't know what to do. In his case someone "warned" the new girl about him when she got there. So that shows how important it is that the other women you are not chasing "like" you so they don't sabotage you.

 

But the average guy can have good game because he knows he needs to and has put in the effort to learn it. However the average guy who refuses to do this or just can't seem to learn,...become the current crop of F/As and Incels.

[elaine567]

This in mind I went to meet them to see really if looks were the be all and end all, they were but I have a thick skin so I knew I was going to be rejected. But I did make sure I got some subtle barb into the conversation.

Women are the first to moan men only value them on looks but the reality they aren't any different.

 

This only proves to them you were a liar for pulling such a stunt at their expense, well done for getting that "barb" in too...

/sarcasm

 

As PRW says, other guys aren't fronting themselves with fake pics.

Did you really think any woman would accept you after being duped in such a way?

To tell the truth if some man did that to me I would be scared of him, as I would see him as "unhinged", and it would dent my confidence going forward...

[5x5]

I don’t get why there are so many guys on here (maybe there aren’t that many but it’s that they repeatedly post with the same complaints) that say you have to be really good-looking to get an average girl.

 

I don't get it either, most of the young people I know have partners. Even one of my aesthetically challenged almost 30 year old, nephews is engaged and before her he had other partners as well.

[PRW]

I don't get it either, most of the young people I know have partners. Even one of my aesthetically challenged almost 30 year old, nephews is engaged and before her he had other partners as well.

And he is probably with someone who is more of less equal to him,...and in their "youth" they managed to dodge the 80/20 Rule so far. But if he is with a woman who is a few steps above his category in her looks (and she eventually figures that out),...there is a good chance in 5 years when he is divorced he will be here asking us what is going on and will be one of "those guys" that you can't understand why they exist.

[guy45]

Really good posts so far. Keep em coming.

The main purpose of this thread isn’t to blame women, it’s to figure out who should be using OLD. Maybe my assumptions are wrong but as far as I can see OLD is still a waste of time for average men.

 

As an example I know a guy who is not even average in looks and yet somehow he met a very attractive woman at his university and she is now his girlfriend.

(she does have a kid however, not sure if that makes a difference).

 

My point is had he tried meeting someone similar on OLD his chances would have been practically zero.

[PRW]

My point is had he tried meeting someone similar on OLD his chances would have been practically zero.

I agree. It was probably still hard in person but would have not ever gotten a response from her if it was on OLD

[Veronica73]

Duh. There are soooooo many people on OLD. How else are you going to filter them all out? If you aren’t good looking, don’t use a dating medium where that’s the most important thing.

[NuevoYorko]

Why do average women have a lower value on online dating sites?

 

Because when you're looking at pictures and stats, the above average ones are the standouts.

 

Maybe an average woman has an easier time getting a date than a similar man. I don't know, but average people have "lower value" than above average ones in dating, the workplace, school, sports, you name it.

 

Also, there is no "80/20 Rule," at least not in the "red pill" usage of the term. Maybe among the FLDS community. For the love of God.

Edited August 30, 2019 by NuevoYorko

[mr_ybor]

I don't get it either, most of the young people I know have partners. Even one of my aesthetically challenged almost 30 year old, nephews is engaged and before her he had other partners as well.

Anywi, in a nutshell: Online dating works (or doesn't, really) rather whack for a bunch of us guys. Dunno if we're too "average" (def not a word I'd use to describe myself), plain/boring (those either), weird (maybe that one... though I'll insist I'm the good kinda weird ), or what. Either way, the outcome is the perception of being lower, or straight-up of zero value. While some may choose to internalize it or let it completely define themselves or not, either way, it feels bad. I mean good on your nephew and your son or whoever. Would be cool if I could come across like them. Edited August 31, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[an0nym0us123]

The general advise for people struggling with old is go meet others in real life. Alough this is better way to meet someone, just because you approach a woman at a bar etc, it doesn't mean that she wont have a dozen inbound messages waiting on her tinder account. I know a number of single women and in the last year I've seen most of them on tinder!

 

So you might have a slight head start given she can see exactly what you look like, and know your personality but she still could have countless other guys trying to get her attention.

Edited August 31, 2019 by an0nym0us123

[elaine567]

Dunno if we're too "average" (def not a word I'd use to describe myself), plain/boring (those either), weird (maybe that one... though I'll insist I'm the good kinda weird ), or what.

 

I think you are from what I can deduce, sorry if I have got it wrong, a 42yo guy who is living the life of a guy much younger.

Not "average" and that is probably your core problem.

 

I guess, you are therefore not being taken seriously by many women. The women in your age group are often looking for someone to buy kid's school shoes with...

Even younger women looking for an older man to date seriously, they are often doing that to get security, the house, the picket fence, the whole shebang. They are in effect wanting to date their Dad...

You on the other hand are the quirky younger brother, the sporty, pubbing, clubbing, "heavy rocker" who is into "off kilter" music... Singleness personified really.

Fine as a fun date when she is 27, not so much fun at 40...

 

Just a thought.

[nospam99]

Posting here, instead of starting yet another thread, to discuss 'average' as a pet peeve, specifically in the context of body type. And this applies to women on OLD as well as, I assume (I don't read my competitors' profiles), men.

 

Background:

On Match, users select self-described body types from Slender, Average, Athletic/Toned, Heavyset.

On POF, Thin, Athletic, Average, A Few Extra Pounds, Big & Tall/BBW

On OKC, Thin, Overweight, Average, Fit, Jacked, A little extra, Curvy, Full figured (interesting - four choices all of which translate to 'fat')

On ourtime, Slender, About average, Athletic and Toned, A few extra pounds, Heavyset, Stocky

 

Observations (restricted to female profiles cuz those are the ones I read):

- I rarely see a woman who acknowledges being overweight. I assume when they do that they must realize it's too obvious in their photos to try to lie

- I often see women whose photos clearly show they are overweight who have self-described as thin, athletic, or average

- to me, athletic or toned means thin or slender AND buff. For a woman, if you don't have abs, legs, and an ass like a member of the USWNT and you pick this description, you're lying. (BTW there is a particular nearby 57 y/o whose bikini photos show she 'fills the bill'. She chose to describe herself as Slender. I wasn't surprised when she didn't respond to my OLD message. )

 

I describe myself as Average. I'm working on getting my six-pack back. Only if/when I do, will I feel justified in claiming Athletic or Toned. If I lose enough weight in the process but fail to also achieve the muscle definition, I'll feel justified in claiming Thin or Slender. I'd appreciate the same standards from the OLD ladies but won't complain much if they continue to exaggerate.

[elaine567]

Seems to me the guys and girls struggling with dating are not "average" and I guess therein lies the problem.

When normal everyday people get rejected by the "top tier" the refuge is in the true "average", not outliers and quirky folk who by their appearance, behaviour, personality or dating history are far from "average".

[mr_ybor]

I think you are from what I can deduce, sorry if I have got it wrong, a 42yo guy who is living the life of a guy much younger. Not "average" and that is probably your core problem.

 

I've got a lot I could say about this, mainly to dispell a lot of gross falsehoods about me you've got here, but you know what? Not the point.

 

You got any actual good advice here? :-|

Edited August 31, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Gretchen12]

When I tried OLD I saw so much weirdness. Not sure what you mean by average but I find the many online man kind of weird. It's not the ranking of good looks that people are talking about. I look at the expression on the face and eyes and if I see weirdness I find that unattractive.

Examples of weirdness: looking extremely sad or angry, making faces sticking out the tongue with bulging eyes, unusual facial hair like a santa beard or some topiary thing.

Our eyes nose mouth are all pretty much where and how they're supposed to be, because if not, the organs would not function properly. That's the average person. Those weird guys online are probably physically normal. They could have been good looking if only they weren't weird.

[preraph]

Why would an average or better woman need to go onto OLD to find an average man? They're all around her. If she goes onto OLD, she's going fishing to see if she can do better, just like the men are. Hence, very few matches that work out. People can get their honest match locally in real life, but not many are looking for that. If they were, they can find it all around them.

[stillafool]

 

Because I see a lot of disdain for single moms and overweight women on this site. I don't see how it's different for women to want to be attracted to their dates, too.

 

I don't think there's a lot of disdain for single mothers and overweight women on this site. As a matter of fact people here are somewhat protective of them. The moderators would not allow that kind of talk here.

[SumGuy]

I don't think there's a lot of disdain for single mothers and overweight women on this site. As a matter of fact people here are somewhat protective of them. The moderators would not allow that kind of talk here.

 

 

Thank goodness. At 50 the women who have not been married and not had kids raise questions for me. I'm a single dad and have only dated single moms. Overweight? By US media standards everyone I have ever dated is "overweight." That thin fashion model body type is not for me.

[preraph]

I don't think there's a lot of disdain for single mothers and overweight women on this site. As a matter of fact people here are somewhat protective of them. The moderators would not allow that kind of talk here.

 

Oh, please. Fat bashing goes on literally every day here.

[an0nym0us123]

Id like to think i am not weird in any way. I dress normal and act normal. Been told after dates by women that its nice to meet someone who is normal.

 

As for single moms, a lot of guys who dont have kids of there own probably dont really know much about them. I dont, I find small children horrible. I did date someone with kids once and the main topic of discussion was either kids or what an ******* the dad is. You will see on single moms profile that her children are her priority and this is how it should be. I just dont want to be second place. Ive had dates cancelled because dad was coming over etc. I also see women who wont date single dads. So it works both ways.

[preraph]

Yes, there's a lot goes into whether to date someone with kids because usually the person's life revolves around them.

[SumGuy]

Yes, there's a lot goes into whether to date someone with kids because usually the person's life revolves around them.

As it should as appropriate to their age.

Doesn't mean you can't build time in for dating, just like you build time in for work, seeing friends or even a "date-night" when married. It's really easy to do if you are divorced and have a shared custody arrangement.

 

 

I'm just very leery of profiles where women make a big point of it, to me it is a ready made excuse for avoiding relationships. If I see you have kids in your profile I will assume that all their needs come first (as they should); not all their wants though.

 

 

If you don't have kids of your own would never recommend dating someone with kids. It's just a world few can understand unless you experienced it.

[an0nym0us123]

So what does the average guy expect online? ive been playing about with new photos, ive about 25 to 30 matches on tinder this last week which is one of my best. 6 inbound messages. Sadly a lot are too far away

[Garcon1986]

Even if you are about to be a star cardiologist - that's me - you get rejected on a dating site like Bumble even after hundreds of swipe rights. If you are on a dating website that primarily caters to looks, you will need to have the best looks. What I needed to do is pick professional photos only (no selfies) and include stuff with me doing something silly.