No idea what happened with this friend!

[Morris17]

I met this friend on a social network and we'd been talking for a few years, we had quite a bit in common and didn't live to far apart so we decided to meet in person. We met up over a year ago and it went great and we met up every month or so after that. Like, she spent the day with me on my birthday, we had a meal for hers and March this year we had a night out together and stayed in an hotel of which we had girly chats and a nice time in general.

 

Not long after March (The last time we met up) she got a new job. She did say at one point she was too busy and couldn't meet because she was too tired after work and needed to adjust to the new job. Though, I know she doesn't work at the weekends so why she couldn't make time for me one weekend I don't know!

 

After that things just went weird, before she'd message me (we are both single and online dating and we'd chat about the guys we were seeing amongst other stuff) and we'd interact a lot on social media but all of a sudden it just became me initiating everything. The only interaction from her was when she'd like my posts on instagram. A few times I messaged her asking how she was and on numerous occasions I asked if she'd like to organise a catch up in person, she'd always say how she was up for it but it just never materialised. So I just gave up asking.

 

For a few months we'd not spoken, only the odd interaction on social media (all by me) and a couple months ago I decided to message her and ask if i'd done anything wrong as things seemed different. She said no and again said how she was just busy and tired with work.Since then we've not spoken via message all, only interacted via social media. But again she didn't initiate any of that. And I know that she's been off work for numerous weeks as she works at a school and it's the kids holidays, yet no message about meeting up.

 

This October we are meant to be going to a concert together, the tickets have been bought and she's gave me money for hers. But I just don't know if I want to go with her when we've not met in ages in person and she can't be bothered to make effort with me anymore. What do I do? I don't even want to bring it up because I feel so done with it all! To me all this silence speaks volumes and for whatever reason she just doesn't care about this friendship like before. any advice would be appreciated.

[schlumpy]

Mail her the ticket. Tell her to take a friend because you have to spend that evening with family. Make something up or actually do something so it not a little white lie.

 

Then forget about it.

 

I don't think you will ever find out why. It could be she met someone else she likes to hang around with. It's happened to me so I assume it can happen to you.

 

Time to make more friends so it's really an opportunity. See if you can find one that owns a boat or has a lake cabin. You deserve it.

[preraph]

When real life gets busy, your online life takes a second priority. I'm sure she has just been doing more real life things such as work and probably made some new friends at work or has a lot of activities and just doesn't feel like she has enough time for anything. a close friend of mine works at a school and I can promise you that just because the kids are out of school doesn't mean the workers or teachers are. It is always training for this and meeting about that. It takes up your life. she probably gets home late and doesn't get everything done and has to catch up on the weekends.

 

She still maintaining you as an acquaintance on social media and I think that's where you stand now. It's no reason to dislike her. People's lives change. There's no reason why she should put you in priority above other things in her life. Just wait and see what happens on the concert. I imagine she'll cancel because she'll be too tired.

[alphamale]

you should be a little less clingy in your relationships, it's a big turn off for many people

[Morris17]

you should be a little less clingy in your relationships, it's a big turn off for many people

 

Not sure if it's how the message comes across but totally not the case. I was making effort with what I assumed was a friendship. I don't have much of a social life and was trying to get out and do things.

[Morris17]

When real life gets busy, your online life takes a second priority. I'm sure she has just been doing more real life things such as work and probably made some new friends at work or has a lot of activities and just doesn't feel like she has enough time for anything. a close friend of mine works at a school and I can promise you that just because the kids are out of school doesn't mean the workers or teachers are. It is always training for this and meeting about that. It takes up your life. she probably gets home late and doesn't get everything done and has to catch up on the weekends.

 

She still maintaining you as an acquaintance on social media and I think that's where you stand now. It's no reason to dislike her. People's lives change. There's no reason why she should put you in priority above other things in her life. Just wait and see what happens on the concert. I imagine she'll cancel because she'll be too tired.

 

Well i work 40 hours a week and finish late and yet here I am making time for people because that's what you do. And I know she's not working for weeks because she put it on her social media. It is what is is. I have another friend who can go to the concert with me.

[Morris17]

Mail her the ticket. Tell her to take a friend because you have to spend that evening with family. Make something up or actually do something so it not a little white lie.

 

Then forget about it.

 

I don't think you will ever find out why. It could be she met someone else she likes to hang around with. It's happened to me so I assume it can happen to you.

 

Time to make more friends so it's really an opportunity. See if you can find one that owns a boat or has a lake cabin. You deserve it.

 

Well i'm the one with the tickets so I shall be going, and she told me she's going twice anyway. I was the one who brought up going in the first place and I have the tickets on my person.

 

Yeah I think something has happened. I'm making new friends and meeting them so that's been good.

[basil67]

Well i work 40 hours a week and finish late and yet here I am making time for people because that's what you do.

 

Actually no, it's not what one does. I have some friends who I see every week or two. Some who I see monthly and two very dear friends who I see about twice a year. We all understand that we have lives outside of each other and catch up when we can.