OMFG! Did I ever dodge a nuclear bomb!

[Artdeco]

The nuclear bomb was in reference to had I ended up with him. I was using nuclear bomb as an exaggerated form of dodging a bullet lol.

 

What he does is what he does. I'm not the one married to him or in a relationship with him.

 

Yes, I get that. But to draw unnecessary conclusions, eg saying that you know now that he has cheated before you, is just an assumption on your part. You could very well be his first affair. Either way, it didn’t work out the way you were planning to, and that might be painful, but it’s OK. Things happen for a reason.

 

Snooping on his activities though, and to consider informing his wife, is nothing but spiteful, and even though I understand your anger, there’s nothing to be gained from this. I am sure you know this, though. I don’t think you will be following through, because if nothing else, you will hurt yourself the most if you do. Plus, I don’t think that informing his wife will lead to a divorce or any other major drama in their marriage.

 

It’s his personal choice to be on a website where he can meet other women. And since you’ve done the same, it’s a little bit hypocritical of you to judge him for it now. If your relationship is really over, let him be, and let him do what he wants to do. The more you get involved, the more you will obsess over it, and you will never get over the disappointment he has caused you. I hope you can find a way to distract yourself enough so that you can be more productive, and heal quickly.

[Hrgirl915]

Wow! What a great human being he is - NOT! Unbelievable! Thank you for sharing your story. I think we all know deep down the majority of MAP are probably serial cheaters. We just always hope ours is “different.” I don’t know if you should tell her or not. So often these wives are comfortable and they overlook a lot to maintain their lifestyle. It’s possible you won’t get the desired outcome and you seem to have progressed so nicely. I would just stay on your current path to happiness and let all this chaos behind you. Be thankful you know the true man and pray for his wife and family. However, I can certainly feel your desire to bring him down because he sounds like a total jerk! Let Patience and Karma be your comfort....

[Starswillshine]

I don’t know if you should tell her or not. So often these wives are comfortable and they overlook a lot to maintain their lifestyle.

 

Though, BS often get pigeon holed into this stereotype, I do not know many people who overlook their WS's behavior to maintain lifestyle. No, many are manipulated to believe that nothing is going on. Many, instead, chose to trust their spouse fully and completely versus being suspicious that he might be cheating. If they find out he/she is cheating, many are fighting for their marriage because they love them fully and completely.

 

So frustrating when someone comes here and suggest it is to maintain lifestyle. I was a SAHM for nearly 20 years when I found out my WH was cheating. Sure, I could have found out many years before, but I chose to trust him. And support him. I found out about it and at first I was willing to try to save our marriage. Not because of money, even though I had no way to support myself nor our kids, but because I loved him and I didn't want to break my family up. Ultimately, I could not do it, and I divorced him. But some women can move past it and repair their family. They aren't in it for lifestyle. The lifestyle is very seldom worth the pain.

[Hrgirl915]

Though, BS often get pigeon holed into this stereotype, I do not know many people who overlook their WS's behavior to maintain lifestyle. No, many are manipulated to believe that nothing is going on. Many, instead, chose to trust their spouse fully and completely versus being suspicious that he might be cheating. If they find out he/she is cheating, many are fighting for their marriage because they love them fully and completely.

 

So frustrating when someone comes here and suggest it is to maintain lifestyle. I was a SAHM for nearly 20 years when I found out my WH was cheating. Sure, I could have found out many years before, but I chose to trust him. And support him. I found out about it and at first I was willing to try to save our marriage. Not because of money, even though I had no way to support myself nor our kids, but because I loved him and I didn't want to break my family up. Ultimately, I could not do it, and I divorced him. But some women can move past it and repair their family. They aren't in it for lifestyle. The lifestyle is very seldom worth the pain.

 

I am very sorry. Certainly not here to offend anyone. Each situation is very different and I used the word “lifestyle” too broadly and encompassing. I hope that through all of this you have found true happiness.