hmmhmmm2 Posted August 31, 2019 Share Posted August 31, 2019 I was friends with this girl and we just hung out tand talked, but she has a boyfriend so nothing serious happened. But she told me she didn't like living with her boyfriend's dad and how she's looking for an apartment. At the same time, I just moved into shared housing and my landlord told me that one of his other tenants is moving out...so I told her this, and said I know she might feel weird about it, but it is affordable and i know she wasn't thrilled about her living situation so maybe this could be an option (explained she would have her own room); but now I think she probably thought it was creepy. I was sincerely trying to help her but also maybe letting my feelings get in the way too. We work together and now I feel like I made everything awkward and idk what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 31, 2019 Share Posted August 31, 2019 Just stop bringing it up. Don't follow up about it. Pretty sure she's not interested in going from the frying pan into the fire. Link to post Share on other sites
rainbow12 Posted August 31, 2019 Share Posted August 31, 2019 What was her reaction when you said that the place is affordable? if you don't know this friend for long and her reaction was not what you expected then just say your sorry for ever mentioning it, you just thought it be a good idea at the time and just let both of you move past it. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 31, 2019 Share Posted August 31, 2019 I assume she didn’t take you up on the offer, but what makes you think she felt creeped out by it? It may simply have not been what she was wanting/ready for. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 31, 2019 Share Posted August 31, 2019 You gave her info about an available place to rent. Sharing that info once is fine. Pestering her is creepy. Don't speak of her living arrangement or BF again unless she brings it up. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted August 31, 2019 Share Posted August 31, 2019 Trying to be helpful isn't creepy. Just don't bring it back up again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hmmhmmm2 Posted September 1, 2019 Author Share Posted September 1, 2019 I thought it may be creepy because essentially it means we'd be living together...not in a complete fashion; and I'm worried it came off that way because of the fact she isn't responding. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 I don't think you did anything wrong. You told her about a place that was available that's all. I would not bring it up again but just leave it there. She might not have responded in case you were offended if she turned it down. Just be normal with her and leave it be. I think it was a thoughtful gesture. Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 I agree with the others... just leave it alone at this point unless she brings it up. Nothing wrong with offering to help someone so I hope you will continue to in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 I thought it may be creepy because essentially it means we'd be living together.. It would only be creepy if you used living together as a means to making a move on her. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 I thought it may be creepy because essentially it means we'd be living together...not in a complete fashion; and I'm worried it came off that way because of the fact she isn't responding. It wasn't creepy but she probably realizes that you like her. Since she has a BF she is keeping her distance from you so as to not give you more ideas, out of respect for her relationship & maybe to avoid temptation. In her present situation, you are not good for her. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 Some people just like to complain but they don't actually want to change their situation. I've had friends like that. They talk all the time about how miserable they are about something, like their job or where they live but then when I start making suggestions they either suddenly clam up or start backtracking by defending the very thing they were complaining about. Like if I were to give them a lead on a great job because they are always telling me that they hate their current job they might say " well my job has flexible hours and it's close to home, I just wish the manager wasn't such a jerk". Then I would realize that they just like to complain about their job but they don't want to make a change. Also when your coworker said she was looking for an apartment did she mean a place that she would move into alone or a place that both she would move into with her boyfriend? If she just wants to leave her current residence but still live with her boyfriend and you suggested a living arrangement that didn't include him then that wouldn't appeal to her. There could be other reasons too. Like maybe she wants her own apartment, not shared housing; or maybe she's okay with housemates but would prefer female housemates; or maybe she doesn't want to share housing with a coworker because she likes to keep work life separate from personal life. When you make a suggestion or offer to someone you can't take it personally when they reject your offer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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