confused Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 My good friend's wedding is in a week and a half. We never did go out, but there was always "someting special" between us. He even moved 300 miles from home to come and live with me and my current (but now x)boyfriend and soon after arriving he broke up with his g/f, later to find out he was hoping I would break up with my b/f and go out with him...then he got back together w/the g/f ...and they moved in together for a year and a half, and they now have a 7 month old child. I know that she asked him to marry her, and he agreed...but my dilemma is that he called me 2 weeks ago and told me that he loved me, I was aware that he had loved me before...but I assumed that he loved her and not me now...I was so shocked when he told me I asked WHAT!!?? and he said "nothing" and went on talking...the next day he called again like he said he would and I asked him if he knew what he had said yesterday and he said yes and then went on to ask if I was coming to the wedding and what I would like to drink at the reception. My question is am I right in assuming that he doesn't feel like he is ready to get married to this girl (or probably any girl) I do not have any intention of pursuing a romantic relationship with this guy who is willing to cheat on the wife he hasn't even married yet, but I am afaid my friend may be marrying out of obligation more than love, but now that I know what I know I am not sure if I can or should be there for him as a friend... Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 First of all, you can't be a friend to this guy because you care about him MORE than a friend. That just isn't good for you. Secondly, it's very wrong for you to make any assumptions about anything. If you want to know what he meant specifically when he told you he loved you, ask him. Let me tell you, men and women are capable of being IN LOVE with more than one person at a time, although it's a very difficult thing to juggle. He may have meant he loved you as a friend. Who knows until you ask him. We are "assuming" here that he even knows what love is. No matter what way he loves you, he is truly a rotten jerk for his behavior...particularly moving in with you and your boyfriend in hopes the two of you would break up. That's the sickest thing I've ever heard of and only a very mean-spirited person who is NOT your friend would do that. Who knows whether he is ready for marriage or not. But he has his own individual life to live and decisions to make and he has made this decision for himself. Stay out of his life and try to make your own as simple as possible. Go to the wedding, take a small gift or even just a card with $25 in it, and chalk it up to entertainment. Then distance yourself from this guy. He is trouble for any woman he gets involved with but that doesn't diminish the entertainment value of his wacky behavior. Wish him well and go on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
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