Yusei Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 Hi all, I am going to try make this as short as possible, please bear with me. I started dating this girl about six to seven months ago and everything in our relationship was going good, we had mutual respect for one another, we would text all day, be giggly, it just felt perfect to me. Although, the last month I started encountering problems from her end, let me explain. She started to become very distant, less-talkative and would barely respond to my messages. I would call her up, but most of the time she was out and she would tell me that she would get back to me and would not until the next morning. I know people have a life and don't live on their phones, I completely understand that, but it was becoming an issue because I would maybe chat with her for around 30 minutes to and hour via text a day, I am in no shape or form clingy, I have more of a busy schedule than her but I put in the time. I felt our relationship breaking and confronted her about this issue, she told me that she hadn't thought about our relationship as there was a lot on her mind, I found that very disrespectful to be honest. When she meant a lot on my mind it was related to 'work/uni, but I am in the same boat, studying a harder degree, yet I am not making excuses. Moving forward, we basically had an argument after I confronted her about this issue and she told me that if all I am going to do is mention her wrongs, I can move along with my life. In that moment, I thought if it was that easy for someone to tell me to go on about my life without them hesitating, then I will and messaged her exactly that. All I know the next hour is, I have been blocked off everything and have not been contacted in three days (now), I know the right choice is to move on. But should I take this as a breakup? like are we even broken up or is she taking time off. Regardless, if she does reach out I will end it, but any insight on how to deal with it if she does message or call? I am not going to be sitting around waiting for a call either, just in case I do get one. Thank you guys, would love to get some feed back! Link to post Share on other sites
soulforge Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 Hi all, I am going to try make this as short as possible, please bear with me. I started dating this girl about six to seven months ago and everything in our relationship was going good, we had mutual respect for one another, we would text all day, be giggly, it just felt perfect to me. Although, the last month I started encountering problems from her end, let me explain. She started to become very distant, less-talkative and would barely respond to my messages. I would call her up, but most of the time she was out and she would tell me that she would get back to me and would not until the next morning. I know people have a life and don't live on their phones, I completely understand that, but it was becoming an issue because I would maybe chat with her for around 30 minutes to and hour via text a day, I am in no shape or form clingy, I have more of a busy schedule than her but I put in the time. I felt our relationship breaking and confronted her about this issue, she told me that she hadn't thought about our relationship as there was a lot on her mind, I found that very disrespectful to be honest. When she meant a lot on my mind it was related to 'work/uni, but I am in the same boat, studying a harder degree, yet I am not making excuses. Moving forward, we basically had an argument after I confronted her about this issue and she told me that if all I am going to do is mention her wrongs, I can move along with my life. In that moment, I thought if it was that easy for someone to tell me to go on about my life without them hesitating, then I will and messaged her exactly that. All I know the next hour is, I have been blocked off everything and have not been contacted in three days (now), I know the right choice is to move on. But should I take this as a breakup? like are we even broken up or is she taking time off. Regardless, if she does reach out I will end it, but any insight on how to deal with it if she does message or call? I am not going to be sitting around waiting for a call either, just in case I do get one. Thank you guys, would love to get some feed back! Mate if she has blocked you on several platforms, then it is over. I personaly think you was over communicating.. There needs to be some mystery.. Some distance, so she has time to think about you. You shouldn't ever be too easily available.. It kills attraction. On her stating that you can go your own way, clear indicator of low interest. Move on Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 It's over. If she were that quick to dismiss the relationship, she either lost interest, met someone else or never really cared about it in the first place. Best thing to do now is walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 It was over before she blocked you. She was not into you at all, and you were way over texting her. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 It sounds like she was already on her way out, and then you asking about it brought it to a head and she just went ahead and use that as breaking off. I don't see the point in pursuing her. Sorry if you feel blindsided and sad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Yusei Posted August 20, 2019 Author Share Posted August 20, 2019 Soulforge First of all I appreciate you spending your time to give me some feedback! I could not agree more about over-talking with can induce a dislike in some. Although, I did not mention in the post that this was never the case in my situation, I would typically see her for 2-3 hours every 3-4 days and for texting it was around 3 hours in a 24 hour span. I don't fit the category of being excessive or clingy I'd assume. She would even ask me sometimes to give her attention LOL. I think she lost interest, but I couldn't agree more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Yusei Posted August 20, 2019 Author Share Posted August 20, 2019 thank you guys, its hard to accept the truth, but she lost interest and used it as a getaway. I feel **** now. oh well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Yusei Posted August 20, 2019 Author Share Posted August 20, 2019 and for argument sake, lets just say messages? either acting like nothing happened or saying she needed the time off? I have reasonable ground on ending it formally then correct? Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 and for argument sake, lets just say messages? either acting like nothing happened or saying she needed the time off? I have reasonable ground on ending it formally then correct? She already ended it. To formally end it would be redundant on your part. Block all her messages on all platforms and block her on the phone. Be a ghost. Try to forget about her. Link to post Share on other sites
Melrose78 Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 I feel for you. I've just been through that. Hot n cold for 4 years. The last time my ex went distant I broke up with him. He then decided yes he wanted to be with me. Fast forward 6 months and I find out he cheated. Twice. With the same girl. A month and a half ago. It's horrible she hasn't got the maturity to just end it and has done this to you. Please don't contact her or respond if she contacts you. She's not worth the heartache. Find someone who will accept you for who you are. Without having to tippy toe around her. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 ...the last month I started encountering problems from her end, let me explain. She started to become very distant, less-talkative and would barely respond to my messages. I would call her up, but most of the time she was out and she would tell me that she would get back to me and would not until the next morning. She basically ended it a month ago in reality. Keep walking and don't look back Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 There really is not much point in ending it formally when she already made it clear that the relationship is over. She took the cowardly way out, but she's been backing out of the relationship for some time. I'm sorry you've had this experience. The way she went about it is immature. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Yusei Posted September 1, 2019 Author Share Posted September 1, 2019 I posted a thread last time, this is the background story: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/689057-should-i-give-up-walkaway Now that I haven't received any form of communication from my ex-girlfriend, I do not know If I should give her the present I got for her birthday which is in six days. I purchased the watch a month before as it was on special for $600.00 AUD. Two thoughts are running through my head: 1) She disrespected me and ended things in a single heartbeat and moved on with her life, so I shouldn't give it to her because she doesn't deserve my time nor a present from me, i'll just sell it. 2) Although she left me halfway, I am not a bad person. I purchased the gift for her and I should give it regardless of the situation. Sometimes it is better to the bigger person and hold no grudges. But at the same time, I do not want her thinking that I am trying to get her attention back or make it look like I want her back, that would make me fume. which is the correct decision? sell and forget or give and forget. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 Do not give an EX a $600 watch. Return it. Sell it. Save it & give it to your mom. Anything is better then rewarding her. She doesn't want it anyway. You're her EX too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Yusei Posted September 1, 2019 Author Share Posted September 1, 2019 I have accepted that she is my ex. I am not viewing it as a form of rewarding her, just letting go of something that wasn't purchased for myself. It has only been two weeks since the break up. The amount does not phase me, just the respect. I am really confused, honestly. maybe a little broken also. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 I get that you are hurt Still she doesn't want the watch. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Yusei Posted September 1, 2019 Author Share Posted September 1, 2019 I understand she may not want or even throw it away. But, would it be that bad giving it and walking away? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 Yes. You'd be better served giving the watch to a homeless person. It will go that individual some good. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 Don't give it to her. It will not make you a better person. Give it to someone who will appreciate it. The compulsion to give the watch to her is a part of you that wants her back. Don't give in to it. It will not bring you any satisfaction or closure. Get rid of the watch as soon as possible because you are using it as a link to your EX. Get rid of any memorabilia from your Ex. Go to the chump lady's website and look up the 180. It will help you to detach from your feelings. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PureAppleJuice Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 No. Sell it, or return it. Giving her an expensive watch won't make her reconsider you or endear you - she'll think you're stupid, if anything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 Do not give it to her. She doesn't want any gifts from you, I can promise you that. Sell it, donate it, gift it to a close friend or family member. It would look weird and desperate to give her such a pricey gift after she's ended it and not bothered communicating with you at all since. You will regret it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 Good Lord, NO! What are you thinking? Wait, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking she'll love you again because you give her the watch. She won't. She'll go sell the watch. You need to return it while you still can. Never reward bad behavior and never keep doing things for people who dumped you. Take that watch back! If you give it to her, it's the same as just throwing your dignity away. Learn to walk away with some dignity and not just humiliate yourself over and over. Don't ever give someone a chance to tell you they don't want you twice. Return it in a hurry as it may only be returnable for 30 days. You can't buy love. You can only buy prostitutes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 which is the correct decision? sell and forget or give and forget. Sell it and use the money to treat yourself to something you want or to having a great night out on the town! Or Sell it, set the money aside. And celebrate! by using it to splurge on an evening out with your next gf! Link to post Share on other sites
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