How to overcome being a relationship-worrier?

[Sookie11]

Hi, I am 18 years old and currently going through a lot of relationship stress. I am currently with a very kind and great guy I enjoy being with, and yet, I worry a lot. I worry about the future - what if one day, he cheats on me, and all of this time and work means nothing? Does that means there's any point to even bother and try, if it can end that way? I over analyse the things he says, to the point where it drives me nuts. I hate it!

 

Before him I was with a guy since I was 14, we had a very toxic relationship that lasted three years until it finally ended, after he cheated on me. It took a lot of time, but coming out of it I felt refreshed, confident in myself in a way I had never experienced before, unafraid of the future knowing if I came out of that, I could come out of anything. My current partner had an eight year relationship before me, one that was loving and basically just not toxic! It would mental to dive into how it ended cus its preettttty complicated, but it did. I do know that, during this relationship, after 5 years he briefly ended things with her to be with another girl, before realizing he loved his partner and couldn't bear to be without her they reconciled.

 

Everything has been fantastic and I am very happy, and for a long time I kept that confidence from before and did not worry. But recently I have had my head filled with those worries, and sometimes I voice them to him - but then I feel horrid, because I've shown him that weak, old side I used to have that's really ugly (I was an obsessive worrier with my ex, I believe because of all the frequent trouble that happened), and really could just lead to my very fears. I feel like that part of me I was proud of is crumbling away again. I think, "Well, if they were together for that long and he left his ex for another after a whole five years *despite* being happy, what's to stop it from happening to me?". Anything could happen in the future, and I'm just so afraid. It doesn't matter how many times he says he promises nothing bad will happen; my ex said the exact same things, and look what happened there. It's weird because when we had no label together, I was fine and had no cares as if no label mean't no commitment, but now one exists I feel dread. It gets to the point where I can't sleep because I'm worrying, not even just about the future, everything! - please somebody help!

[stillafool]

Sweetheart stop worrying about things you have no control over. If he does end up cheating it will hurt but you will be okay and move on to date someone better. This is really the way it happens believe it or not. It is rare that people your ages (18) end up married. You still have a lot of living and a lot of people to meet. You have a beautiful life ahead of you so don't let your fears ruin it for you.