CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 Even though the op's left the building , MC what made you feel sick and all the changes ? Did you really do it hard , self torture to lose the weight or ? My ex lost around 20kg and you couldn't stop her after that, heaps of energy but she'd turned into a bit of a slob before hand back when she let herself go. I think she meant she felt sicker before....it was just worded a bit confusing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Londy Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 a skinny person can wear a fat suit to make themselves appear fat I hate that! I go on a date and we get back to her place and she takes off the fat suit and there's a skinny girl underneath it! Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted September 10, 2019 Share Posted September 10, 2019 This brand of humor is not for everyone and will probably get taken down by YouTube sooner or later, but enjoy while it's here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted September 10, 2019 Share Posted September 10, 2019 Damn, should have read this post earlier of the day, so I would not have skipped gym today. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted September 10, 2019 Share Posted September 10, 2019 If you are heavy, and that is what is your "normal" then I would either suggest you try to find someone for you that fits that criteria and is comfortable with your size....If you take advice from others that say you should "whip yourself into shape", that's great, but that is the body you are selling to the available partner..Realize that now you will have to maintain that look/body literally for the life of the relationship...Which could be decades or more... .If you fall back after a short time to who you really are, then its just another bait and switch"....I mean no woman would be happy if the high powered attorney she married decided after landing a woman that the job was too stressful and he'd have to turn in the BMW because hed be more comfortable stocking shelves at Home Depot...Its the same thing really... TFY I agree with your point. But for other people (and I think I am one of them) I have most always been with a partner and that has motivated me to stay in shape. Because I wanted to be attractive for my partner. I think the longest I was single before I was married was maybe...I don't know...6-9 months maybe?? It was a long time ago. And then I was married and thought that he was the love of my life and we'd be together for the rest of our lives and I kept myself in shape. And then I got divorced...and then it was like "What's the point? Who cares?" So that makes it harder. If there's not anyone you're interested in. I mean...I guess what I'm saying, is that not having anyone to have sex with (or even want to have sex with) can be much, much more demotvating than having someone who really want's to be with you. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 10, 2019 Share Posted September 10, 2019 Damn, should have read this post earlier of the day, so I would not have skipped gym today. Meh....despite what everyone writes here, a quick look around at people in society shows that most people of all shapes, sizes and facial features do still find love. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted September 10, 2019 Share Posted September 10, 2019 Meh....despite what everyone writes here, a quick look around at people in society shows that most people of all shapes, sizes and facial features do still find love. Haaaaa , exactly , l meant to mention that this morning, againnnnn, as l'm always saying that round here. 90% of couples are just ordinary people of every combo you could think of not super models . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted September 10, 2019 Share Posted September 10, 2019 I agree with your point. But for other people (and I think I am one of them) I have most always been with a partner and that has motivated me to stay in shape. Because I wanted to be attractive for my partner. I think the longest I was single before I was married was maybe...I don't know...6-9 months maybe?? It was a long time ago. And then I was married and thought that he was the love of my life and we'd be together for the rest of our lives and I kept myself in shape. And then I got divorced...and then it was like "What's the point? Who cares?" So that makes it harder. If there's not anyone you're interested in. I mean...I guess what I'm saying, is that not having anyone to have sex with (or even want to have sex with) can be much, much more demotvating than having someone who really want's to be with you. No disrespect, and I guess whatever motivates you to better yourself is "good", however if its not "in" you, then you will never achieve or maintain it..That's why you "fell off the wagon" so to speak... Please understand, I am not being critical...Its not for everyone...I train for me, because it makes me feel good about myself...While only an idiot wouldn't understand that a more fit person is more attractive to the opposite sex, there has never been a single minute that I ever touched a piece of equipment, or any other exercise paraphernalia or maintained a regimented diet for the sake of sex or for the betterment of a partner...That makes no sense....to me, anyway.... That's why I am strongly advocating to "be who you really are"....In that case, there is no ulterior motives...and there is less of a chance of the other person falling back when conditions aren't perfect... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 10, 2019 Share Posted September 10, 2019 This question is too vague. There is skinny and there is obese and 24 different sizes in between. I was dating at a size 4. God I had a lot of attention but all of the wrong attention, couldn't find a man that was really interested in getting to know me, it was all about my shape. Fast forward a few years and it's at size 10-12 that I started meeting interesting men and found my boyfriend. Men were shown pictures of different women. They all preferred the women with an hour glass shape and it didn't matter she was 120lbs or 150lbs or 200lbs. What unconsciously attract men is the ratio 30/70 waist/hip. You have some men that like pre-puberty look in women, others like very heavy women, they even have dating websites for men preferring very heavy women. There is someone for everyone out there. It's not because something is hard that you give up. You keep on searching and you'll find. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 10, 2019 Share Posted September 10, 2019 How important is a person's weight when it comes to their dating options? To what extent does it limit dating options by itself? Why do you ask? Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted September 11, 2019 Share Posted September 11, 2019 No disrespect, and I guess whatever motivates you to better yourself is "good", however if its not "in" you, then you will never achieve or maintain it..That's why you "fell off the wagon" so to speak... Please understand, I am not being critical...Its not for everyone...I train for me, because it makes me feel good about myself...While only an idiot wouldn't understand that a more fit person is more attractive to the opposite sex, there has never been a single minute that I ever touched a piece of equipment, or any other exercise paraphernalia or maintained a regimented diet for the sake of sex or for the betterment of a partner...That makes no sense....to me, anyway.... That's why I am strongly advocating to "be who you really are"....In that case, there is no ulterior motives...and there is less of a chance of the other person falling back when conditions aren't perfect... TFY No... no disrespect taken at all. I think I get what you’re saying. But as someone who has NEVER been overweight or even remotely out-of-shape, until after I got divorced...it’s hard to believe that if I had stayed in the relationship that I would have let myself get to this point. I mean...I’m 46 years old. I didn’t give up on taking care of myself until I got divorced when I was, I think 42. That whole event was an enormous disappointment. But even though your’s and my motivations are very different, I really don’t think I would have let myself go like this if I was still in a partnership. So I think my situation is a lot different than people who get in shape in order to “get” someone, and then once they have them they let themselves go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 I feel that people tend to be attracted to healthy individuals in general, it's in our instincts to find slim bodies, symmetrical faces etc attractive. Overweigh is just as unhealthy as underweigh, so I guess being in a normal range gives more prospects to be found attractive by potential mates. Although some people can see beyond that and go for personality, which is quite realistic given that weigh has shifted nowadays and people are getting heavier on average and you open up yourself for more possibilities without have a restriction. To each their own, I don't judge neither those who find heavier repulsive nor those dating heavier people for their beautiful personalities (however slim can be beautiful inside and fat can be an ugly person sometimes too lol). Myself I intend to remain slim, now that I'm single and looking but also after landing a husband and I wouldn't like him to get chubby after marriage either, unless it's due to sudden illness or accident - I'd be with him through everything except laziness and disrespect to our relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 (edited) What's attractive depends of your culture. In China you are attractive at 86lbs, in France you are attractive if you're very lean, in South America you're attractive with a curvy body. Here we are all from different parts of the world answering what is fat, what's not, what is attractive and what's not. There is also a difference between being overweight and being obese, we're all talking like there is no in-between and OP must be a level-3 obese. I know women with an extra 10lbs that consider themselves fat and live miserably, and I know women with an extra 30lbs that rock it and never run out of boyfriends. Edited September 13, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator fixed spacing Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 How important is a person's weight when it comes to their dating options? To what extent does it limit dating options by itself? Tougher to be fat if you are a woman. A bit easier if you are a guy. But in general it's not great. It also depends "how fat". If you are up to size 12-14 as a woman it's still relatively ok. If you go above 16 it's tough. Also, for guys, it's easier to be fat if you are older. Young and fat tougher. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Also, for guys, it's easier to be fat if you are older. That may be because everyone tends to get heavier as they age. The average American gains a pound a year. Doesn’t sound like much until you start adding up decades... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fair Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Generally, if a man is a few pounds overweight it doesn't bother me. This question is about personal preference, but most of us can agree that really big men and women are a turn off. Link to post Share on other sites
crispytoast Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 I prefer to date someone on the slimmer side as I am, but I'm ok with a bit of body fat. If we are going to date seriously, we'll screw ourselves fit anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted September 14, 2019 Share Posted September 14, 2019 Only really skinny and really fat or obese people need to worry about this, I think, IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted September 14, 2019 Share Posted September 14, 2019 On the flip side of the coin, I am wary of dating incredibly fit women. IMO, there's a big difference between being active and eating reasonably clean and being obsessed with "fitness". I went out on a few dates with a woman who trying to break into the fitness competitions; she was gorgeous, trim and fit. But, she was absolutely obsessed with her workout routine and diet and she was consumed with it. We had a dinner date that was uncomfortable for me as she was pouring over the menu, looking to find something that fit her macro ratio (protein/carbs/fat). The menu was expansive; there was grilled chicken, fish, lean steaks, rice, sweet potatoes (etc..) but she was getting flustered over all of it. I wasn't planning on gorging myself on nasty fried food but I felt awkward when I ordered a sirloin, sweet potato and broccoli. And, I was in that boat in my early twenties; I competed in bodybuilding and powerlifting and I know that it stops being a "lifestyle" and it grows into an unhealthy obsession in a hurry. And, for me, that unhealthy obsession became a neurosis. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fredwhite Posted September 14, 2019 Share Posted September 14, 2019 ^^^ When someone cares so much about his/her own looks, the person becomes very high maintenance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted September 14, 2019 Share Posted September 14, 2019 Shape or "look" is important to me. I am attracted to curvy women. Tried dating skinny yoga chicks. No thank you. I did enjoy the anatomy lesson though. A curvy woman with confidence in her body will always catch my eye. All that being said - once I fall in love with a woman I hardly notice any change in her weight. It is kinda weird but it is almost like I'm blind to it. This has worked both for me and against me in relationships. Ha. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 14, 2019 Share Posted September 14, 2019 On the flip side of the coin, I am wary of dating incredibly fit women. IMO, there's a big difference between being active and eating reasonably clean and being obsessed with "fitness". Back when I was dating, I had an automatic aversion to guys who looked like they worked out a lot. Not interested in coming in second fiddle to his gym routine. Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 Back when I was dating, I had an automatic aversion to guys who looked like they worked out a lot. Not interested in coming in second fiddle to his gym routine. I was certainly guilty of that when I was competing in my youth... Everything took a back seat to my workout routine and diet. And, again, it essentially became a mental health issue for me; I was obsessed with eating super clean and training. I was a mess if I deviated from either of them and I was totally wrapped up in my physical appearance. I went on a "bulking" routine once, lost some definition in my abs, and immediately went nuts on a super low carb diet because I couldn't handle not being "ripped". In the end, it took a serious toll on a relationship I was in with a good woman. I was miserable to be around because I was tired, sore and dieting. Date nights were planned around my "cheat meal" for the week and anything that interfered with my workouts or diet was unheard of. I actually ditched out on a fishing trip with her family because I found out that a) we were leaving too early for me to workout and b) there wasn't going to be room on the boat for my cooler filled with chicken breasts, rice, veggies and protein shakes. I was not stable. Lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 I'm glad you've come out the other side of it Oats. Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 Weight is somewhat important to me. No fat chicks. And I don't want to become a fat chick myself, so I try to watch what I'm eating. Which is sad because I love all the wrong things like pizza and cheesecake. I used to eat huge quantities when I was younger, but I'm in me early/mid 30's now and life has caught up to me. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you will just never be 16 again. I dislike my body and I think I'm not as slim as I should be. My husband says I'm cute and cuddly and a little squishy. GFs say I'm hot. So if my partners are OK with me, I should be OK with me too I guess. My GFs love to exercise and still look like skinny teenagers even though they've hit 30. But they run a lot and work out daily at an all-female club. I think it is a bit excessive, but the results are fabulous. Link to post Share on other sites
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