We started living together but are very different.

[Highndry]

After reading everything about him, he sounds just like my BPD exgf. Good riddance!

Edited September 6, 2019 by Highndry

[Veronica73]

I feel like you were dating one of my exes. MY GOD he was EXHAUSTING.

 

I’m sorry you’re hurting, but man....be glad you didn’t marry this guy. He would have made you miserable.

[Highndry]

I feel like you were dating one of my exes. MY GOD he was EXHAUSTING.

 

I’m sorry you’re hurting, but man....be glad you didn’t marry this guy. He would have made you miserable.

 

 

These kind of people are emotional vampires. They suck the life out of you.

[preraph]

He doesn't need a girlfriend. He needs a mother. He's infantile. I guess his parents forgot to teach him to be an adult.

[Veronica73]

These kind of people are emotional vampires. They suck the life out of you.

 

They really do. It’s hard to explain. I’m not sure you can understand what it is like until you experience it.

[miss2017]

These kind of people are emotional vampires. They suck the life out of you.

 

Yes he was. No wonder I was sick and exhausted the whole time we got back together.

 

The hardest part is to be honest with myself and realize why I accepted him in my life.

 

When we met the first time, I was going through a life situation where I was feeling lonely and vulnerable. He appeared and started love bombing me right from the start and gave me the attention and affection I wanted.

 

I didn't pay attention to the red flags and that saying "I love you" to me after just a couple of dates was too much and sign of someone who is not in touch with reality.

 

Then we broke up and stayed away for several weeks, and when we came back this summer, it was again when I was feeling lonely and vulnerable and tricked myself into thinking it could be different with him this time.

 

I have to admit this to myself and focus on building a happy life for me, surrounded by family and friends and things I love, and THEN start dating again.

 

I have been living abroad in a place I don't really enjoy and with a mild depression due to that.

 

After all this, I have taken the decision to move back to my home country very soon, where I am truly happy.

[miss2017]

After reading everything about him, he sounds just like my BPD exgf. Good riddance!

 

I didn't know what BPD is and Googled it, and OMG! Reading the symptoms of BPD and how a person with BPD behaves in a relationship, it is him!

 

The intensity, the fear of abandonment, the exaggerated reactions, the roller coaster emotions, that's him exactly.

 

I have no idea if he knows about this, and probably not, or maybe yes but he hides it, but he is very much like that.

 

That explains so much. Also tells me I don't have to feel angry at him anymore for his behaviour and what he has done, because that's the disorder. But of course I can choose to not be in a relationship with someone like this anymore, and wish him well.

[Highndry]

I had no idea about BPD either until my exgf. I had never dated a woman like that. And I will never do it again. It was a miserable experience, in hindsight. All the good was completely overshadowed by the bad.

[miss2017]

I had no idea about BPD either until my exgf. I had never dated a woman like that. And I will never do it again. It was a miserable experience, in hindsight. All the good was completely overshadowed by the bad.

 

Did her know she had BPD and told you, or was it you who figured it out by yourself?

 

Yes I feel the same here, the good was completely overshadowed by the bad.

 

He would be really lovely, attentive, supportive, if all was well, and flip the second something doesn't go as he wants, overreacting from fear and insecurity to the point of breaking up on the spot.

 

He also doesn't seem to have a strong sense of self, which is a trait of BPD too.

 

I always thought this is not normal behaviour but never thought he could have some kind of mental illness, but it does explain a lot.

 

Wow, a lot makes sense now.

[Highndry]

I didn't figure it out until after the breakup. In fact, only when a guy here named "Downtown" started posting things to various threads did I put 2 and 2 together. I started reading and, my god, my ex had every single symptom, and to the extreme. I'd say I feel sorry for her but she doesn't deserve any sympathy. She is a selfish user. I guess I do pity her.

[miss2017]

I didn't figure it out until after the breakup. In fact, only when a guy here named "Downtown" started posting things to various threads did I put 2 and 2 together. I started reading and, my god, my ex had every single symptom, and to the extreme. I'd say I feel sorry for her but she doesn't deserve any sympathy. She is a selfish user. I guess I do pity her.

 

I guess that's exactly what's happening with me too then, I am figuring that out now.

 

I feel so sad and heartbroken and still confused on him breaking up with me and have everything shattered when two weeks before he asked me to marry him, because that is not normal to me and my brain can't understand it in a logical way.

 

But if you know that the other person has BPD, then it makes total sense this behaviour that doesn't make sense.

 

I was also wanting and waiting for him to change and evolve, but I guess he probably doesn't even know how to or want to.

 

I guess I just have to accept it and move on, because the pattern will always be the same with him, and it will cause major damage to me and my son in the long-term living with someone like this.