Is there any "meaning" to this?

[Big Aus]

Ok, this might seem a little weird.

 

So on our dating profiles, there is the question "do you want more children?"

we can choose one of three answers: Yes, No, & Maybe.

The profile can be easily changed and updated at any time.

 

So the lady has answered "maybe." Which is no problem.

(Mine also says maybe, on the basis that it if a lady wanted it I would at least consider it.)

 

Then on first date, she tells me, twice, out of the blue (ie not part of existing conversation) that she absolutely does not want any more children.

 

So firstly I'm just puzzled. Why not just answer No on the profile?

Is she saying "Maybe, but only with the right guy, and you aint it"?

 

I don't know why this bothers me. I guess I just feel its a simple thing to be accurate about, and for some reason she wasn't.

[elaine567]

How old is she?

[alphamale]

How old is she?

 

and...does she already have kids??

[PegNosePete]

How long has she had the profile? If a while then it's possible she changed her mind, or her opinion clarified from a maybe into no, but she forgot to update it.

 

Although most people take this question to mean do you want to make more kids with your potential new partner, it's also possible she interpreted it as would she be open to dating men who have kids already?

 

I wouldn't over-think it. Just proceed on the basis that she doesn't want to create any more kids.

[chillii]

She puts maybe on her profile to open up more matches and then tells the truth in person. It is a bait and switch. I ran into the same thing.

 

 

 

 

Yep bout it, ran into it too and a lot of other things.

Anyway op now she says absolutely not so l'd say that means what it says.

[SumGuy]

...

So the lady has answered "maybe." Which is no problem.

(Mine also says maybe, on the basis that it if a lady wanted it I would at least consider it.)

 

Then on first date, she tells me, twice, out of the blue (ie not part of existing conversation) that she absolutely does not want any more children.

 

So firstly I'm just puzzled. Why not just answer No on the profile?

Is she saying "Maybe, but only with the right guy, and you aint it"?

...

She changed her mind and didn't update her profile et? She wants to cast a wider net to get her foot in the door but is up front on the first date?

 

 

As this is a pretty fundamental life question, I'd take it as a big negative the inconsistencies here.

[mark clemson]

I think enigma's probably right.

[major_merrick]

I'm glad I'm not single anymore. It sure seems like people lie a lot during the dating process, which really defeats the point. If you want a long-term relationship, you just screw yourself by saying "maybe" when the answer is anything but. Sadly, I think you've been lied to and it won't be the last time.

And for people wanting "short term" relationships, why don't they just admit "I'll have sex if you're cute." At that point, asking anything besides "Are you clean?" and "Do you wanna?" is a waste of time.

[spiderowl]

It depends on how you interpret 'do you want more children'? If you have your own children and do not want more, but are willing to welcome another person's child or family, then you might put maybe. If you put 'no', it can sound like you would not welcome meeting someone who had a child.

 

I think it is just a way people cope with limited options on the form.

 

Did you ask her why she had put maybe when she didn't want more children?