Confessing something that happened years ago?

[Urhen]

Hello everyone...

 

i am new here and i live in Europa so sorry about my English mistakes... I try to do my best...

I came across this website and i would like to have your opinion about something...

 

I am a male of 33 years old and i have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 7 years, we have a daughter of 2 years old...

 

Like everyone in a relationship, we had our ups and downs... We love each other but sometimes it's really hard to make it work but we try. We know that it's never easy a relationship.

 

Making love work requires hard work...

 

The thing is, she is my first and still my only sexpartner i had sex with... Yeah i know... do the math... i was a still a virgin till my 26...

 

Now to make a long story short, my girlfriend doesn't want a lot of sex. And i mean, 1 time in a month is a lot.

 

Sometimes i get a bit frustrated but i love her and i respect her... she doesn't need that much of intimicy and sometimes, she has pain when we have sex.

 

Now here is my problem:

 

4 years ago, so we were 3 years together in the relationship, i talked with my friend (wich is a girl). I always could talk to her and i have known her before i started dating my girlfriend. She knows me and i was there for her when she had a difficult time with her husband. She was there for me, always as a friend when i had difficult times with my girlfriend. We were always friends and there was nothing more then that. Maybe difficult to believe but at the time we met (as friends) we were both single and we never started dating with each other. We always had contact with our phone (whatsapp or sms)

 

But like i was saying, 4 years ago i started chatting with here because i was going through a rough time with my girlfriend... fighting about lack of sex etc... I was mad and frustrated and my girlfriend left my appartment and went to here parents for two weeks. Where we on a break?? I don't remember but that's not the point.

In that period, it was 4 years ago so i don't remember the exact date, i was looking for some comfort with my friend... she was very understanding and we had some laughs and we talked over the phone. And she asked me if she could send me 2 or 3 pictures to show off her new tattoo... I said yeah sure ofcourse... She said, yeah but is it ok for your girlfriend because you maybe see a bit of nudity. I was like, no problem, just send it.

And ok, the pictures was not a nude picture but in underwear to show off here body and tattoo. I replied that she looked good and fit and it was a nice tattoo. It gave her a confidence boost. Then she asked me if i could send a picture of me. But i don't do sport so i told her i don't have a fitness body like her. She said it's alright, just send a picture of your d*ck...

I was like, for real? Yeah sure why not she said.

I did send a pic of my d*ck. And she replied: there is nothing wrong with that my friend, i don't know why your girlfriend doesn't want more sex with you. Even after that we talked and she told me some advice to make it up with my girlfriend about buying some sextoys or other stuff to spicen up our sexlife.

 

I felt guilty about receiving those pictures and sending one... but it gave me such an ego boost... I was always uncertain about the fact that my girlfriend doens't want more sex with me that i thought there was something wrong with me or she doens't find me attractive.

 

Do i have to feel quilty about it? It has been years ago, but recently i had a chat with my girlfriend about honesty and cheating. I told her i never cheated on her... really i never touched, kissed had sex with another women. Ok sometimes i watch some porn... i guess like every other man?

 

But i don't know what i should do and do i have to confess the pictures and the converstation. I know it was just meant friendly and nothing sexual. I don't know what to do and how she will react to it.

 

I am guessing i didn't feel guilty about it at the time because of the lack of sex between me and my girlfriend... but since it has come up... i don't know what to do? Am i really that bad for doing that?

[preraph]

I wouldn't tell her because it will only confuse matters and deepen her distrust. Are you still in touch with this silly woman you sent the dick pic to?

[pepperbird]

I can understand the desire to not spill the beans about this. This being said, I your shoes, I would immediately cut off all contact with his "friend" of yours. If your SO ever finds out about this photo exchange form anyone else but you, she will be well within her rights to never, ever trust you again.

 

I would also really question her friendship in the first place. A good and true friend would never do what she did. Her need for an ego boost would never come at the expense of a friend's relationship.

[oldtruck]

I wouldn't tell her because it will only confuse matters and deepen her distrust. Are you still in touch with this silly woman you sent the dick pic to?

 

Second that. Keep your mouth shut.

[mark clemson]

Agree - since it went no farther than that and is now so long ago, I wouldn't bring it up. It will just be something to fight over needlessly at this point.

 

Are you married now or still BF/GF? Either way, I think you should look into helping her with the pain during sex issue. Possibly, if that is cleared up, she will be more interested. IF you are able to get that addressed, THEN suggest that you cuddle with her a lot. Do this in part to show that physical intimacy is not ONLY for sex from your perspective. Hopefully that and the removal of the pain issue (if possible) will help her feel more comfortable with more frequent sex, maybe up to once a week?

[usa1ah]

How has the it been between the two of you sex wise since then?

 

Has your gf seen a Dr about the pain she feels during intercourse? My wife would hurt when we first started. Then it got better for her to a point in a couple of months. I let her set the pace of how often we did, ended up being 2 to 3 times a week. To this day she starts feeling pain after about 30-40 mins.

 

Honestly you shouldn’t have exchanged pics. The outcome is where I see that there is no problem with what you did. It never happened again and the friendship has continued as just friends.

 

I would advocate breaking of the friendship if the two of you continued to exchange anything of a sexual nature. She has been your insight to what some females think and has been your go to to fix your relationship at times. I have friends of both genders and so does my wife, I have discussed things with them early on in our marriage (30years married this year). My female friends were able to give me insight that my male friends never could. We never crossed that line that you did though. As long as boundaries are kept you shouldn’t have a problem.