The past and wondering

[mortensorchid]

Maybe this a more general question for others, but I was wondering about this not too long ago:

 

We've all had our share of OLDs in the past (good, bad and the ugly), most of the time you walk away and never hear a word from that person ever again and that's that. Do you ever wonder what they're doing now? Or if they did meet someone off the same website and now they're happy? If they ever think of you after your encounter and think "I wonder what happened to him/her?". Unfortunately I think we very much have this ships that pass in the night mentality.

[carhill]

I'd say all of my OLD experiences were positive ones, even if not working out long term. The most positive was a decade long marriage and nothing regarding OLD had bearing on the ultimate failure of that.

 

I'd say only one crossed my mind sufficient to check in many years later; she was a young Polish lawyer living in Ukraine. Not really a romantic check-in, rather a good person check-in, turned out she'd finally found a good local guy in her 30's and got married and had a child. Good on her. I think that was 15 years after we'd last had contact which was when she visited the states while I was dating the lady who later became my wife. They got on pretty well on at least two group camping trips. No animosity. Anyway, I thought of her, contacted her at the old e-mail we used and she remembered me right away. Caught up, shared condolences (she lost her father, me my mother) and that was pretty much that.

 

OP, I think you're still pretty young; when one gets to my age and older, if lucky, most of what we have are memories of our life. I hope you find them to be pleasant ones.

[chillii]

l do and often wonder about this one or that and how they're going, what's happening , did she find him and blah blah.

[Foxhall]

Its strange- in terms of previous girlfriends- Ive had three of substance and honestly I could not care less what any of them are doing now,

 

as for previous one off online dates- I probably cannot even remember their names,

 

I wish I could show the same detachment in terms of broken friendships, I still reminisce on them and that I will not have as good of friendships again,

 

I need to let go of that.

[alphamale]

Do you ever wonder what they're doing now?

 

no, not really

[LuckyM]

Yeah, I do think about it but goes nowhere.

 

You'll never know if they think of you. As people get into their fifties and beyond, this is more likely, they recall a distant image or memory, even a minor one that once was forgotten, and perhaps an old wound is reopened, an old sore still hurts and you think---woulda, shoulda, coulda...

[Gaeta]

Maybe when I was single still I wondered but now that I am in a fulfilling relationship it never ever crossed my mind.

 

After being off OLD for 4 years I STILL get random messages from men I met before my boyfriend. I never answer, I just delete and block. Apparently they wonder what has become of me.

 

 

 

 

.

[mark clemson]

I have thought about, and "googled" major GFs (and one major HS crush) from the past and indeed found information on some of them. For example, one is an OB/GYN, married with kids, in Portland. I got in contact with one just to catch up and we exchanges letters telling about our lives (she had a rough one). I searched for some good guy friends who I have lost touch with as well.

 

Nothing for minor GFs/"just dates"/ONS's though. There's not enough emotional interest there to warrant it for me.

 

There are some you can't find. It's a bit trickier with women since often their last names change.

 

There is one who I believe may have died, sadly.

[HiCrunchy]

Guys I went on a few dates with from OLD, I don't think of very often.

 

I personally have a terrible memory, even the ex that I was so in love with that brought me there, I'm forgetting some things about him.

But when I'm able to remember something, feelings start flooding back. Maybe its for the best...

[mortensorchid]

I think about those people once in a while, I guess I am a sentimental person in that way. I don't even remember most of their names or what they looked like all the time, but I remember the situation somewhat if it was strange or outrageous. A few in particular I wonder about because they were such losers or arrogant snobs, but they were exceptional.

 

But it's what it is.

[alphamale]

There is one who I believe may have died, sadly.

 

that's terrible mark

[mark clemson]

Yes, she and I dated for almost a year so I knew her quite well. In fact she's the one from the "bike" story in the other thread. The only thing I could find of her on social media was on LinkedIn and it was very dated. She's in a field where she should move around a bit, so I would expect to see updates or some other trace of her somewhere on the internet, but nada.

 

She had a health condition that had the potential to cause serious complications, so possibly that's what happened, but I will probably never know, unfortunately. Definitely very sad.

[The Outlaw]

No. I couldn't be happier that it didn't work out.

[snowboy91]

Never had an OLD, but I can apply what you're saying more generally to anyone I've dated, and to pretty much anyone I've met. I wouldn't say I'm the nostalgic type, but I care about people a lot. So on occasion I do wonder what happened to people I've met over the years and lost contact with.

 

Just because a relationship didn't work out doesn't mean they are a bad person and I should write them out of my life.