Mets19 Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 (edited) I'm new here... I am a very happily married man to my best-friend (female). My friends and I (including my wife & my buddies wives) are regulars at a nice restaurant in town. One of the bartenders (woman… about 15 years younger than all of us) is leaving for another job. She has been a bartenderat this place for as long as we have been going there, 5 years. Last night, itwas just the guys at this restaurant. When I went to say goodbye to her andwish her well, I reached over the bar to shake her hand and then proceed tokiss the back of her hand, like the Europeans do. In my buzzed state, I was thinkingit was a nice departing gesture, to show my respect of her. Last night, I didn’t think anything of it. But, waking up thismorning… I can’t get it out of my head, like I did something wrong here, inthat I was disloyal to my wife. Is it possible I am over-thinking this or should I talk with my wife about this? Thanks Edited September 3, 2019 by Mets19 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 What was your intent (was it all romantic) and did your actions seem out iof place? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 In my buzzed state, I was thinkingit was a nice departing gesture, to show my respect of her. Sounds like you were just being silly. Let it go. I'd be more concerned about a lifestyle fostering close relationships with bartenders, regardless of gender... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mets19 Posted September 3, 2019 Author Share Posted September 3, 2019 What was your intent (was it all romantic) and did your actions seem out of place? No romantic intention... a farewell gesture of respect. Link to post Share on other sites
oldtruck Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 The saying when in rome do as the romans do. You are not European. You are in not Europe. You are worry that your wife would not approve, and she would not. Screen name mets so I assume USA at the least, new Yorker most likely. By the culture you were raised in, and still live in such behavior is crossing the line. You were not even a European on vacation here acting the way you would of back home. If you have to ask if what you did was bad. You know it was bad. Shoe on the other foot and it was your wife saying good bye to a male bartender and how would you feel if he kissed her hand or on her cheek? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mets19 Posted September 3, 2019 Author Share Posted September 3, 2019 Shoe on the other foot and it was your wife saying good bye to a male bartender and how would you feel if he kissed her hand or on her cheek? That would not bother me, in all honesty. When seeing friends that we have not seen in a while, I have received a kiss on the cheek by those female friends, in front of my wife and I believe she has done the same with our male friends. I guess I don't see a difference. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 Let it go. I assume you didn't slobber her hand with a wet kiss. What was the reaction of the woman? Surprise, or what? However, I wouldn't make a habit of it. Some ladies, and wives will be offended. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mets19 Posted September 3, 2019 Author Share Posted September 3, 2019 Let it go. I assume you didn't slobber her hand with a wet kiss. What was the reaction of the woman? Surprise, or what? However, I wouldn't make a habit of it. Some ladies, and wives will be offended. Thank you!... that's the kind of reassurance I was looking for. It was definitely not a slobbered kiss... just a quick peck on the back of the hand. She was a little surprised but, thought it was funny. I did it too be funny. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SunGenie Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 Did the bartender even care? Seems like you might have done it to see the bartenders reaction? If so that's an ego stroke you needed. Don't bring it up to your wife if she is the jealous type. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 As long as you intent was G rated you are fine. If it was a "drunken" chivalrous gesture it's fine. I'm sure she got a kick out of the gallantry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 You were drunk and being silly. Let it go. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 If you can't sleep at night then confess to your wife. I'm sure she will find some suitable penalty that will soothe your soul. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 No romantic intention... a farewell gesture of respect. You can stop worrying about this then lol You did nothing wrong 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aria789 Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 You did nothing wrong. I'm talking as a woman. As you said, your intentions weren't romantic. Link to post Share on other sites
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