Bullseye1914 Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 My (30) wife (20) and I have been married for 3 months and have known each other for not too much longer than that. Yes, I understand we got married fast, but judgment on the length of time dating pre-marriage isn't the point of this message. Long story somewhat short: My wife had an affair with someone (55) she knew before me and blamed it on my playing video games and not being supportive enough of her career efforts. I won't even go so far as to dispute that information despite that being extreme hyperbole. Upon finding out that affair, I was livid, but was extremely calm and managed to convince my wife to stay (or so I thought). 2 days later, she up and vanished with nothing behind other than a love letter and her wedding ring. She canceled school, gym, our movie memberships, a lease to a new apartment that I just put money down on the same morning she left. I spent $200 in Ubers twice over the week, forgave, didn't beg.... I'm at the point where I guess I'm supposed to give up. She left on 8-15-19 and it looks like she's about to sign a 1-year lease with her sister...for better or for worse, what can be done to even possibly save this marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 Why do you want to stay married? Love won't solve this problem. If your marriage is only 3 months see a lawyer about an annulment. If not available file for divorce. Strike first. Start packing her things right now. Your only hope to bring her to the table will be to expedite her removal. Once she gets a dose of life without you she may want to reconsider but then again maybe not. It's a risk but your only option now is to protect yourself as well as you are able. Good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bullseye1914 Posted September 3, 2019 Author Share Posted September 3, 2019 She already packed up her things and left on her own about 2.5 weeks ago. Life alone is definitely not fun. Yet I'm being accused of not caring and going on dates and being a crappy husband. All of which are not true, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 I doubt this will ever work out. I agree with the above-see if you can get it annulled, and if not, get divorced ASAP. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 All of which are not true, lol. The little you know about her is all bad - she's unfaithful, unfair and uncaring. Don't look for answers, look for solutions to your situation. Schlumpy's right, lawyer up and get this done... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 Well the fact of the matter is that you married someone you barely knew. You two married while the relationship was still in that very early infatuation stage and I guess that infatuation is over for your wife. She is only 20, still at an age where romance can be very fickle and people confuse lust/infatuation with love. She also married someone she barely knew and when real married life started she likely realized that was a huge mistake. Getting married so quickly probably sounded like a romantic adventure to her but then she realized that it's not what she pictured. Clearly she does not want to be married or tied down to just one person. If you did somehow manage to convince her to come back it wouldn't be long before she'd be cheating and leaving again. She is not mature enough to be in a committed marriage. She still wants her freedom. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 A 55 year old? Does she have Daddy issues? No, don't try to take her back or you will go through this again. She's needy to the point that she requires all of your attention or she will cheat. Plus she's probably with the old guy who is paying her expenses. You are only 30 and a man. You have a lot more living to do and you will not be lonely very long. Let her go. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 What exactly are you trying to save? I don't see anything. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 Go to the chump lady's website and look up the 180. It will help you out. Link to post Share on other sites
beldar Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 Annulment! She is waaaaaaaay too immature for a marriage. When you are rid of her then consider yourself as having dodged a bullet. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartFullOfSoul Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 I echo schlumpy’s response, get this marriage annulled. This girl is not worth the effort; anyone that would dump you that quickly with barely a second thought isn’t. Consider yourself lucky that you’ve only invested 6 months total — I wasted over 2.5 years trying to convince my wife to work on our marriage only to have her move out. Again, 6 months? Also, in the future, vet the girl out more and, yes, you might want to re-examine your own behavior and be a little more supportive. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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