Nina2310 Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 Hello everyone, I've been in a relationship for more than 5 years when I decided to end it up because I've fallen in love with some other man. We have been separated for 1 and half year, and during this time I've started a new relationship which turned up to be a total mess. During this time, my ex contacted me for about 1 year because he wanted me back. In my new relationship I started to understand what a big mistake I did when i broke up with my ex. In the new relationship things were going bad that's why I decided to end it up. I start to contact again my ex, and he accepted to go out and to be FWB (his idea). We were not actually FWB as he took me out for dinner, we spent a lot of time together, we spoke every day, we speak about future plans and even we went on a holiday together. As things were going so great I've decided to ask him how he feels about me, if he start to catch again feelings. He rejected me and he say he didn't wanna have a relation, and all this was for fun and because he felt lonely. And then i took the decision to end the FWB thing and now we didn't speak anymore. Do you think he will come back? I mean in this 2 months of FWB we really spend some good time, he saw I've changed and basically we were really happy together. What is your opinion about this? Do I have any chance to win him back if I give him time to think and miss me (I will do no contact till his birthday on the 3th of October). Thanks for your help! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 Well, he was happy because now he had no commitment to you and could also chase other women, and I'm sure he did. Sounds like he's liking the single life for now. Also, he probably can't ever trust you again, so he can't ever feel the same closeness. That's why the relationship definition had to change. He can't ever feel the same again. Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 (I will do no contact till his birthday on the 3th of October). Don't even contact him on his birthday. He's clearly told you that he doesn't want a "relation" so don't bother with him anymore. You cannot be FWB or FB's with someone you want a committed relationship with, you will end up shreddin your own heart. Zero contact is the quickest way for you to get over him so that you can find a good man that wants it all with you... not just the sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 You did him dirty, so he used you for a piece and then cast you aside. Good for him. You got what you deserved. Next time, know the grass is not greener, and don't go sniffing around the ex that you burned. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 Do I have any chance to win him back if I give him time to think and miss me (I will do no contact till his birthday on the 3th of October). Ug, a Libra like me. No it's highly doubtful he will want you back. Link to post Share on other sites
Melrose78 Posted September 8, 2019 Share Posted September 8, 2019 Leave the guy alone. You made your bed. Chances are once back with you he realised he would never trust you or love you like he did once did. I bet my life this guy gave his all, you took it all for granted, and thought you found better. Learn from it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
soulforge Posted September 11, 2019 Share Posted September 11, 2019 Hello everyone, I've been in a relationship for more than 5 years when I decided to end it up because I've fallen in love with some other man. We have been separated for 1 and half year, and during this time I've started a new relationship which turned up to be a total mess. During this time, my ex contacted me for about 1 year because he wanted me back. In my new relationship I started to understand what a big mistake I did when i broke up with my ex. In the new relationship things were going bad that's why I decided to end it up. I start to contact again my ex, and he accepted to go out and to be FWB (his idea). We were not actually FWB as he took me out for dinner, we spent a lot of time together, we spoke every day, we speak about future plans and even we went on a holiday together. As things were going so great I've decided to ask him how he feels about me, if he start to catch again feelings. He rejected me and he say he didn't wanna have a relation, and all this was for fun and because he felt lonely. And then i took the decision to end the FWB thing and now we didn't speak anymore. Do you think he will come back? I mean in this 2 months of FWB we really spend some good time, he saw I've changed and basically we were really happy together. What is your opinion about this? Do I have any chance to win him back if I give him time to think and miss me (I will do no contact till his birthday on the 3th of October). Thanks for your help! I would never trust you again either. You dumped him for another man.. Then realised the grass was not greener on the otherside after all. You then came back to your back up plan.. Your ex. However he got wiser and smarter, probably after you crushed his heart by dumping him for another man. Now he used you for sex and realises you are not trustworty long term. So you got NEXTED Link to post Share on other sites
soulforge Posted September 11, 2019 Share Posted September 11, 2019 Don't even contact him on his birthday. He's clearly told you that he doesn't want a "relation" so don't bother with him anymore. You cannot be FWB or FB's with someone you want a committed relationship with, you will end up shreddin your own heart. Zero contact is the quickest way for you to get over him so that you can find a good man that wants it all with you... not just the sex. She dumped him for another man. She doesn't deserve loyalty or commitment from him. Link to post Share on other sites
soulforge Posted September 11, 2019 Share Posted September 11, 2019 You did him dirty, so he used you for a piece and then cast you aside. Good for him. You got what you deserved. Next time, know the grass is not greener, and don't go sniffing around the ex that you burned. This is spot on... While you was busy riding the new man, and oh soooo deeply enjoying it. This poor guy was probably sunk in a deep depression and making threads on here lol When your monkey branch didn't workout.. You come runnning back to your back up guy. He used you for sex.. And got rid, because he does not trust you. He did a great job. Link to post Share on other sites
rjc149 Posted October 16, 2019 Share Posted October 16, 2019 (edited) So I won't rake you over the coals like everyone else, telling you that you deserve your pain. There are some very hurt and damaged people replying to threads like this and take their own pain out on easy targets like you've made yourself. We all make mistakes and we've all hurt people. You probably already understand that you are the perpetrator here, not the victim. You don't deserve pain or punishment, but you don't deserve sympathy either. The reason you are hung up on him is because you were high on the validation of believing that he still had feelings for you. His rejection killed that buzz. That causes infatuation. This is what you are feeling, infatuation, and it will pass. I don't know what happened in your relationship, how he behaved and he treated you, or how you monkey-branched (cheated and lied, or did it respectfully etc.) because you didn't elaborate. But you hurt him and damaged his ego, and now he's enjoying the redemption. If I were him, I would enjoy it too. It's very human. And if I had any respect for myself as a man, I would never take you back as a girlfriend. Fool me twice, shame on me, and I won't be made a fool of. This is principle. The most you could ever be to me is a FWB while I kept searching for a real partner to be with. This aside from the fact that trust and intimacy cannot be restored after being cast aside for another person. His distrust and resentment for you would always be there, lurking. Falling in love with someone new, and leaving an unhappy relationship for the new person, is not inherently wrong. You are human, the heart desires whom it desires, and you are entitled to pursue your own happiness. In the game of love, you will get hurt, and you will hurt others. That's how it goes. However, going back to those you've hurt and betrayed, and attempting reconciliation, is only successful with those who have no regard for themselves. You would leave him again, because by taking you back, he communicates that you're free to leave him again with no permanent consequence. You would lose respect for him. This is if he didn't preemptively hurt you first to protect himself. The new relationship with him would be underlined with mistrust, lack of respect, and resentment. It would be doomed. Leave him alone, don't contact him again, and move on. If he contacts you, understand that you will not get what you want, because it's not possible with him anymore. Your time is best spent finding someone new and applying the lessons learned to have a better relationship. Good luck. Edited October 16, 2019 by rjc149 Link to post Share on other sites
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