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Torn between moments in time


curious jane

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So i have had this on and off thing with a guy for the past 10 years, i can't quite explain what it is.... it started when i was 18 - we have always lived in different countries but every couple of years a paths cross and it is just bliss.

 

We have never had sex with each other we just kiss and enjoy each others presence - i had not seen him in about 4 years and i saw him this May at a festival - the feelings were still all there, we never have really discussed anything we just are i guess.

When i was younger i moved to be closer to him, he freaked out and lost contact - but over the years we have stayed in contact and see each other and i just fall all over him.

 

I met a new guy shortly after i saw him, and he is wonderful, although l8tly we have been having some troubles, but i really care about him a lot.

My 10 year friend thing contacted me this week - he is coming to my coty and wants to see me. I told my b/f and he knows all about him. It made him very insecure and he said he would not feel comfortable with me seeing him alone. I have cheated on b/fs in the past with this guy, but i am older now and i care about people more and i dont like huting people.

In my mind i am trying to figure out how i can see him without my b/f knowing if it is possible. I know i would feel like a bag of **** for being dishonest. I never really know when or where i will see this 10 year man again. I think that just a night with him almost make me consider cheating on my b/f or breaking up with him.

 

I just have never been with anyone that makes me feel like 10 year man has - yet he always keeps me guessing and i get my hopes up....

 

Hmm sounds like something from a romance novel...

 

IT feels good to be wanted -- but i just did not think it would be so hard, if i was anyone else i would not be contemplating these thoughts...

 

10 year will be 4 hours away from me until january - then he will be on another continent, but just knowing there could be the possibilty for soemthing in such a little time makes me not know what to do or feel

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Wow you would be a bag of **** to ask how you can be alone with the 10 year flame behind your boyfriends back .....

 

You need to let your nice decent boyfriend go . He deserves someone better than you.

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I have cheated on b/fs in the past with this guy, but i am older now and i care about people more and i dont like huting people..

 

In my mind i am trying to figure out how i can see him without my b/f knowing if it is possible

 

You DO see you're contradicting yourself MAJORLY here don't you.

 

You haven't grown up so I can't help you. Advice are for grown-ups to heed. And I truly feel sorry for your b/f.

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