Now I know the truth and dont like her at all.. No interest in her own child

[kimmi]

8.5 years ago I went on a vacation back home. I ran into a friend after not talking to her for over 10 years. She was pregnant and she asked me to help her out because she knew the baby was going to be taken away, She said that it would be only 6 month then she would have her back in her care.

8.5 years later I still have the child. I have legal custody of her and we moved due to way to much stress and my work.

The past few years I cant stand her ! She lies to her daughter and she lies to me all the time. She cry's that she misses her however when I offer to pay her flight and offer a room in my house so they can spend time together she declines. I even went out there in 2018 and she only seen her for 1.5 hours and I was there for a total of 17 days !

I came home with my little one and she does not really want anything to do with either of them. the father did not even show up at all to see her.

I sent the father a message saying that I am looking into adoption, Should I do the same with the mother to warn her ? Or just go through with it and say nothing until they are served?

[amaysngrace]

Don’t say anything. She most likely won’t care anyway.

 

Good for you for raising the child though. It seems you popped into your friend’s life at just the right time and wow, after ten years too.

 

Good luck in your custody battle. Did you ask for support from them both because you may want to consider it. The older they get the more expensive they are.

[MsJayne]

Wow, you're an angel. I would let the mother know you're going to legally adopt. She may not care, but at least then you have done the right and fair thing all the way through.

[schlumpy]

Don't say anything. The more surprised they are and off-balance the least amount of fuss they will make. The main danger would be for them to seek money from you in order to drop their opposition. It's something to keep in mind. Get it through before they can think about it.

 

I have to say I doubt I would have made the decision that you did so I must stand in your shadow.

 

Is it religious conviction that allowed you make the decision to keep the child?

[preraph]

No, don't warn her, though she probably knows now that you told the dad. She might try to extract money from you or something. Just go do it and make it legal. She's obviously not that interested in that little child. I'm glad you are.

 

My best friend adopted her junkie half-sister's baby that had already been seized by CPS and rightly so. She lets her see her and spend alone time with her, something I wouldn't agree to at all. She thinks she's clean now, but I wouldn't ever trust a junkie to be staying clean and leave my kid with them. Nope.

[The Outlaw]

You aren't under any obligation to say anything. You've raised the child while the mother can't be bothered to spend anymore than and hour and a half with her. She won't care. She made that choice years ago. She's your child more than hers.