Girlfriend disappeared suddenly and won't talk to me

[Rudytwo]

I was seeing my girlfriend for six months, and suddenly two weeks ago she disappeared suddenly with no contact or reason given. I've been trying to get in touch with her but she is ignoring my messages and not answering my calls.

 

The relationship became intense very quickly, and she told me that she loved me and had not fallen for somebody as fast as she did for me. I felt the same. Over the last couple of weeks she was distant with me and didn't want to see me as much as she usually did. I asked what was going on and all she said was she was feeling low and needed some space. On Friday I messaged her asking if everything was ok between us, she replied and said it was but maybe we should break up because she felt her being distant was unfair on me. I said I wanted to meet up to talk about it, and didn't want it to end especially not by a message. She agreed and said we would meet but that was the last I've heard from her. She's active online and is posting on social media so I know she is ok, and she is purposefully ignoring me.

 

 

I love her and don't want to lose her, but I would at least accept it's over if we had a chance to talk and to say goodbye. It's killing me that I might not get closure or a goodbye or know what is going on with her and I can't concentrate on anything else. Any advice on how to get through this would be appreciated. Thanks.

[Maddie82]

She tried to break it to you gently by saying she needed 'space' and that you should break up because 'it's not fair on you'. She sugar coated the fact that she had lost interest. You didn't pick up on this so she full on ghosted you. I'd just let this one go and move on.

[schlumpy]

Don't meet with her because you will beg and hate yourself even more.

 

Go the chump lady's website and look up the 180. It will help get over the feelings that are unrequited from the love of your life.

 

Ask yourself- Would the love of your life treat you like this?

[ExpatInItaly]

I hate to tell you this man, but she's not your girlfriend anymore.

 

She already broke up with you, unfortunately. In that sense, she hasn't disappeared, though I get why it feels that way. She is just doing what many dumpers do and avoiding an emotional conversation with her ex - ie, you.

[d0nnivain]

Closure comes from within. If she had the words you need to hear to get whatever peace you are looking for, you'd still be together. Instead, focus on how cowardly & mean she is. After agreeing to meet, she ghosted. That is not a nice person. You are better off without her. Get angry about the way you were treated & use that to move on.

[PRW]

The relationship became intense very quickly, and she told me that she loved me and had not fallen for somebody as fast as she did for me.

That is never good. A relationship built totally on emotion. That's almost always unstable and doomed.

 

I felt the same.

Just makes the above even worse.

I asked what was going on and all she said was she was feeling low and needed some space.

That [some space] is the Pre-Break statement.

On Friday I messaged her asking if everything was ok between us, she replied and said it was but maybe we should break up because she felt her being distant was unfair on me.

This is the break up and was done using one of the typical variations of the "It's not you, it's me" thing.

I said I wanted to meet up to talk about it, and didn't want it to end especially not by a message.

That is a safety move by her. Either she is afraid you'd be volitile during an in-person break up or she has had past bad experiences with previous guys she broke up with so she is afraid.

 

I would at least accept it's over if we had a chance to talk and to say goodbye.

No,...you just think that in person you might be able to change her mind.

It's killing me that I might not get closure

There is no such thing as "closure". That word didn't even exist when I was young. If you got dumped you just went on looking for the next one.

[Fekenaws]

It's over mate, she was trying to be gentle. Typically, when a girl starts going ghost it means she already began investing emotionally into another guy. Just bow out. 6 months isn't terribly long.

[PureAppleJuice]

God, this is horrible. I'm sorry this happened to you. Sadly she is probably either seeing someone else, or didn't know how to be upfront so did the 'slow fade'. It also sounds a bit like she has some intimacy issues or possibly has BPD, although I am not a professional and can't make a diagnosis.

[destroyedlife]

my advice , delete all social media accounts, and lose your phone number , completely disappear , remove all objects that remind you of her and put them away, this is the worst part because you probably wont sleep or eat much , and you will online looking for answers non stop.chances are her ex or someone new is in the picture. join the gym and work on yourself

[The Outlaw]

If she's ignoring your messages and not answering your calls, it's over. And the silence should speak volumes. I know it hurts because we've all been there, but she isn't worth it. As d0nnivain put it, you're going to have to find closure within yourself. That's the best you can do because at this point, you won't get it from her. When you've been ghosted, you never do.

[Highndry]

It's another guy. It's always another guy when a woman does this. I'm sorry. Delete everything and pretend she no longer exists.

[mark clemson]

Be glad you dodged this bullet. If she's cold enough to do this to you, think of how any LTR would have turned out.

[Commongoal123]

Borderline Personality Disorder, or at the very least an very selfish person.

 

You dodged a bullet big time.

[Sparta]

Yeah everybody’s right here.! You definitely dodged a bullet here. For your own sake just stop trying to contact her. Tell yourself you think too much of yourself to be treated like this.! Cut contact don’t look at any of her social media move on. Do not by any means try to contact her complete NC (no contact) then think about calling your friends and make some plans to go out and having a good time this weekend.!

[fromheart]

You're saying you love her, but what has she done to deserve this love exactly? Who she is now, is who she is. After the honeymoon, you get to see the real person. So do you really want to spend your life with her? Because it sounds like she isn't really worth anymore time whatsoever!

[preraph]

When two people meet, they often give each other the benefit of the doubt and plus both are usually putting on their best behavior, so you get this falling for each other sensation early on. But such is dating, once you begin to actually get to know the person and not just projecting your ideal person onto them, this all breaks down and then you're kind of embarrassed you got so carried away and try to slip out. Sorry. Happens to all of us.

[alphamale]

dude your relationship is over...move on