logan_michelle Posted September 28, 2005 Share Posted September 28, 2005 ok i have been engaged to a guy named daniel for 3 years. we've been through everything together and i was sure i loved him. he and his friend garrett decided they were going to move to florida and go college to be motorcycle mechanics. to save money we (daniel and i) moved in with garrett. garrett and i always flirted and eventually we ended up kissing. i kept thinking of daniel and kept coming up with reasons why i liked garrett more. that sounds bad..but it's true. i really care for garrett but i know it's not possible to love more thanone person at a time. last night garrett stayed up late and was watching tv with me after daniel went to bed. garrett kissed me and when we were done kissing we looked back towards the tv and daniel was standing there. he saw the whole thing. my problem...i have to choose one and i have made my decition to be with garrett. daniel and i were always fighting and i felt like i had to answer to daniel (if you know what i mean). both of them decided they were going to remain friends and we will all still live together, and when i made my decition, (they don't know my decition yet) the other one will back off. daniel came to me today crying and saying he can't let go of everything we've been through. that he can't let go of three years of his life. i know that if i were to tell him i chose garrett he would be going into an even bigger nervous breakdown than he is in now. he won't eat won't sleep and keeps throwing up. i am afraid that when i tell him it will push him over the edge and he might do something really bad. what do i do? how do i let him down and still know he will be alright? i know i want to be with garrett but i know i still CARE for daniel. help! Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted September 28, 2005 Share Posted September 28, 2005 I think if anything, you need to not see either one for a while and then decide who you want to be with. Let them know, if they wait willingly, fine, but if they aren't cool with it, so be it. You're in a tough situation, since you were caught, I'm curious what would've happened if Daniel didn't see this happen? You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells for the rest of your life, though, it IS your life, and sometimes you will have to put people thru hell, it sucks but that's how it has to be. You sure as hell shouldn't stay with someone because you think they'll lose it mentally, I mean, just think about it, how is that good motivation to stay with someone? You have to do what you feel is right, and it seems as though Garrett is the one you truly want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author logan_michelle Posted September 29, 2005 Author Share Posted September 29, 2005 thank you but do you think that when i leave and not see them for a while, daniel won't freak out? in reply to what you asked, if daniel hadn't of caught us, i don't know what i would of done. guilt probably would of got the best of me and i would of spilled the beans sooner or later. i tryed going for a walk about 9:00 tonight, and leaving them at the house. they both let me be for 30 minutes, and garrett went one way and daniel went the other and literaly went on a "search" for me. do i just tell them to back off...? this is hard. thank you for helping me, i don't think i could of just figured this out by myself. Link to post Share on other sites
truelyblue Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 hey, it seems u have made up your mind already and just coz u care and feel guilty abt the episode u cant make a decision to stay with someone longer due to guilt but neither can u think properly while ur with both of them at the sametime......... u should go away for sometime or just ask them to back off... say u need time n everything is happening too fast. as it is garett whom u want then u will have to break the news to daniel soon u cant make him hang on or hope for too long .......this will be easier for both of u........ at least for now daniel will have to deal with it he is not a 2 yr old having a tantrum fit............and somehow i dont think the idea of u being in the same house as both of them is going to help matters.......... look at it from a distance not with them breathing down ur neck each time with some sop story..........it is ur life and ur decision ultimately and ur happiness which is on the line..... lemme know wot happens hope i cud be of help....... Link to post Share on other sites
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