spiderowl Posted September 11, 2019 Share Posted September 11, 2019 This must be totally disheartening. Your husband is not showing he desires you or wants you in that way. You don't trust him. It would have to be a truly amazing relationships in other respects to put up with such a disappointing sex life. Link to post Share on other sites
IslandSanctuary Posted September 11, 2019 Share Posted September 11, 2019 I watch porn sometimes - generally when I'm bored. It is the most searched thing on the internet by far. Some people go as far to say that porn is totally taboo and unacceptable in a relationship - but that seems too far to me - there is no interaction with anyone else. I can see how too much is unhealthy, especially if it is impacting your sex life and making you feel unwanted. As a man, it takes discipline sometimes not to release yourself and to look forward to sex with your partner so you forgo masturbation. All you can do is tell him this upsets you and maybe suggest counselling, and if he doesn't do anything to stop it then all you can really do is accept being unhappy in a sexless marriage or leave him. Link to post Share on other sites
Big Aus Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Let me attack this from a few angles. Firstly, most men want sex, and mostly with women. Finding a guy who wants to have sex with you, you be the least of your problems. His not desiring you is damaging, and will ultimately crush you. If you were in your 50's I might suggest looking forward to other things. But you're not, so if he can't fix this, I seriously suggest you find someone else. Secondly, he's a selfish, inconsiderate ass. He won't give up his porn addiction, he won't do anything about his other hang-ups, and can't ever try to feign interest in you. Healthy sex should be part of any mature adult relationship, and he won't even try? He doesn't watch porn "because its something he's always done". He does it because he's a lazy, inconsiderate perv. Of course porn is "more exciting" than you. God only knows what sick filth he's watching. He can't even do it with some semblance of dignity, instead cumming in his shorts and leaving there for you to wash. Do NOT, under any circumstances "consider opening your relationship". I mean what? Because your BF is a selfish ass, you have to subject yourself to creeps wanting NSA sex? But worst of all, that would effectively give him permission to pursue God knows what. There are many different ways of dealing with his problems. But the first step in any of them is his wanting to change, which he obviously doesn't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 The guy is addicted to porn, is not going to give up his endless supply of hot babes doing God knows what and whacking off to it. He is used to the feel of his tight fist and enjoys that more than vagina. Sorry but what else can it be? I wouldn't put up with this from a husband much less some boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 he's a... perv ... what sick filth he's watching. Wow, that's VERY judgemental. Who made you the arbiter of what's "sick filth"? Healthy sex should be part of any mature adult relationship MANY people have thought having "healthy sex," by which I assume you mean loving PIV, on a regular basis is being a "sick perv" throughout human history. So, I guess that makes you "sick" too? All that said, I don't disagree with your main point that she should have her needs met in the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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