Author Equave111 Posted September 5, 2019 Author Share Posted September 5, 2019 Thank you for your comments guys. I realise I have been silly and read way too much into it. I need to work on myself and be grateful that I am not his wife or the wife in a marriage being cheated on. Thank you for your help and guidance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 Equave111, you didn't answer my question. If he said he wanted to sleep with you, would you do it? I'm guessing that you would, judging by that fact that you avoided answering. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 I found this in another thread and it's entirely relevant to this one: https://abcnews.go.com/US/man-involved-2018-love-triangle-murder-suicide-case/story?id=65366893 Link to post Share on other sites
OnlyHonesty Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 Believe it or not I do feel bad. I have entered in to a situation I know will not end well and will ultimately end in pain. In saying that I do have feelings for him so I really don’t know what I should do Your best course of action is to stop meeting him, stop communicating unless it is business and stay away. Just because you have feelings, does not need you have to act on them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggiemay1 Posted September 6, 2019 Share Posted September 6, 2019 You guys are right, it’s not worth it and I do deserve more. Part of me wants to message him and give out to him for treating me like that and hurting me, the other part just wants to cry it out then ignore him Treating you like what??! Having a coffee and kissing you AFTER he told you he was married? Sorry but you not a victim here. You allowed the kiss to happen! Did you not? Cry over what? 2 coffee dates and a kiss? You have nothing to cry over? It’s not like you have had a break up with a significant other? He tested the water to see if you were up for some extramarital sex. It turned out that you were too much of a risk. So he will look elsewhere. But that’s none of your business. My guess is you are internally angry at yourself but you want to blame him. He was upfront and honest with you. The reason for his honesty is because he only wants an affair and not to leave his happy home. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 6, 2019 Share Posted September 6, 2019 He stroked your ego. You thought this guy must really like me a lot if he is willing to risk his marriage for me... But married guys don't think like that. Finding a woman willing to be the OW to a married man is not easy. Most women will bat him off and tell him to go home to his wife. MM tend to test the waters with all sorts of women hoping to snag a willing one. Once identified, push and pull is the order of the day, he comes on all hot and heavy, he then pulls way back, you get desperate, he swoops in for another "session", he again pulls back, you again get desperate... etc. etc. etc. In that way he hooks you in. This is early doors and you already sound hooked... Stop it. No good will come of this. It all seems special and unique to you, but read the OW forum, it is the same old story time after time... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggiemay1 Posted September 6, 2019 Share Posted September 6, 2019 He stroked your ego. You thought this guy must really like me a lot if he is willing to risk his marriage for me... But married guys don't think like that. Finding a woman willing to be the OW to a married man is not easy. It all seems special and unique to you, but read the OW forum, it is the same old story time after time... Exactly this!!! He is willing to leave his wife of x years and children for me, he must be super into me!! Actually no! He is a guy who wants the family lifestyle first and foremost. He is never going to give up his number one priority. Yet he is a thrill chaser. He is charming. Women like him. He knows this. And he preys on the weak ones. Be strong !! Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 6, 2019 Share Posted September 6, 2019 I found this in another thread and it's entirely relevant to this one: https://abcnews.go.com/US/man-involved-2018-love-triangle-murder-suicide-case/story?id=65366893 Yeah, I saw that and OW need to see this too. Not all betrayed wives fall to pieces when they find out their husband is in an affair, they kill the OW. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted September 6, 2019 Share Posted September 6, 2019 Yeah, I saw that and OW need to see this too. Not all betrayed wives fall to pieces when they find out their husband is in an affair, they kill the OW. Well, I'd say that they do fall to pieces but they don't hurt themselves or the spouse . . . murdering someone doesn't say "well, she's keeping it together through all this" Link to post Share on other sites
jah526 Posted September 6, 2019 Share Posted September 6, 2019 Yeah, I saw that and OW need to see this too. Not all betrayed wives fall to pieces when they find out their husband is in an affair, they kill the OW. The MM and I actually talked about this at one point. He said "you never know, she's a crazy <nationality>." And then he laughed. Apparently he found the thought of his wife potentially murdering me funny. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 6, 2019 Share Posted September 6, 2019 That was silly of him as I'm sure the gun would point his way first. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 6, 2019 Share Posted September 6, 2019 Well, I'd say that they do fall to pieces but they don't hurt themselves or the spouse . . . murdering someone doesn't say "well, she's keeping it together through all this" Well definitely not that wife as she took her own life as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted September 6, 2019 Share Posted September 6, 2019 OP, I've only read your posts but my take is that this MM is conditioning from the start to accept breadcrumbs, he'll be back and from your posts you'll fall right back where he wants you! You need to look at your own boundaries and behaviours. Just because you are attracted to/have feelings for someone doesn't mean you have any entitlement to a relationship. This man is married, he's already in a committed relationship with his wife, just because he's willing cheat on her doesn't mean you should jump in there, treat yourself and his wife with some respect. Link to post Share on other sites
spiritedaway2003 Posted September 6, 2019 Share Posted September 6, 2019 You need to look at your own boundaries and behaviours. Just because you are attracted to/have feelings for someone doesn't mean you have any entitlement to a relationship. This man is married, he's already in a committed relationship with his wife, just because he's willing cheat on her doesn't mean you should jump in there, treat yourself and his wife with some respect. Dear OP, please read that advice above over and over again. I'm not going to share my full story now, but just know that I've been in your boat. Hold tightly to that boundary. I know it's doubly hard to resist it when it's someone you like, but you'll save yourself a lot of heartache in the long run. And read the OW/OM forum. Link to post Share on other sites
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