A cautionary tale for wayward spouses and those in affairs with them

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

https://abcnews.go.com/US/man-involved-2018-love-triangle-murder-suicide-case/story?id=65366893

 

Should be mandatory reading/viewing.

[preraph]

Over the years, I have just observed that women who go after married men intentionally, like this one, do the same thing sex workers do. They use flattery, tell them how wonderful they are, how they deserve better, pump them up and feed their egos. And meanwhile she's still married to another guy, so she should have no credibility, and he's cheating on his wife, so it should be apparent that no woman would find that THAT wonderful. These guys love flattery and validation, and it's nearly always fake and just a way to manipulate.

[Amethyst68]

I read it and no argument the actual event was tragic but I don't sense any real remorse or even regret from this man. The way he describes his actions and what happened is just so blase. I don't know, IMO there's no true feeling there.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I agree, Amethyst. What also struck me is the lengths his wife went to in order to catch him. She was a smart lady and this should give those engaged in cheating on their spouses pause! Who knows what their betrayed spouses are doing behind the scenes to catch them.....

[preraph]

There was a murder here decades ago where the other woman ended up killing the wife. It wasn't premeditated but she got in the same room with her and started fearing for her life and overkilled her.

[GorillaTheater]

He wrote a book about it?

 

That seems particularly cheesy.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

He wrote a book about it?

 

That seems particularly cheesy.

 

I don't know if cheesy is the right word, but definitely ICK.

[Starswillshine]

This article glorifies the affair. And while I believe the wife was off her rocker, the articles makes her out as such an evil person for the spying part (yes, for murder, but the spying part... that is smart). I love how it says she was living a double life.

 

As a BS, I would have never killed the OW; however, I was sitting on the floor of a hotel room with an entire bottle of pills in my hand. I put them back when my kids popped in my mind. So many times driving down the road, I considered whether the tree I was passing was big enough to make sure I was dead. The pain and hurt involved in being betrayed in this manner is nearly unbearable. But who cares, right? The heart wants what it wants, right?

[elaine567]

Two clever, quality women ruined by a weak and selfish guy.

The ultimate ego boost for him, and now he is smiling all the way to the bank with his new book.

Whoop di doo...

 

Has he no sense of shame? Apparently not...

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

So many times driving down the road, I considered whether the tree I was passing was big enough to make sure I was dead. The pain and hurt involved in being betrayed in this manner is nearly unbearable. But who cares, right? The heart wants what it wants, right?

 

I feel that. I recall driving haphazardly without a seatbelt on purpose, willing the universe to do its thing!

 

Thankfully there is healing.

[mark clemson]

Dunno, I read a few articles like this in relation to a recent thread. I think everyone should be a little worried, not just the WS. Think any of the folks involved might be triggered unfortunately, not just a BS. As was pointed out (correctly IMO) sometimes the WS is the one killing a BS to "get them out of the way".

 

Think it must be a very small percent that end up in a violent situation - but no doubt the rarity is hardly consolation when you're one of the very unlucky few bleeding to death on a kitchen floor.

[Shining One]

Two clever, quality women ruined by a weak and selfish guy.

One was a cheater, the other a murderer. You and I have very different definitions of quality. I don't see any quality people in this story.

[DKT3]

Affairs are always dangerous because you just can never know how one will react.

 

I know a ton of really disturbing stories with roots in infidelity. People love to believe that they are isolated but really they are not. Here in the US most of the women murdered are a result of infidelities whether its OW or wife or girlfriend.

 

Anyone who believes this is rare should check out the tv documentary deadly women with episode after episode of BW killing OW, or MW killing wives or husbands. It's all disturbing stuff because of infidelity

Edited September 5, 2019 by DKT3

[mark clemson]

It may not be rare in terms of absolute numbers, but I suspect it's a small percentage of cheaters. My logic is that if an estimated 20% of people cheat (which may be conservative) and say even 5% of them were being killed, it was be a drastic epidemic and (literally) a national health concern.

 

There's over 400 M people in the US. So, if you tried to put 1/10th of 1% into a room that's 400,000+ people. With modern populations even a very small percentage is still a LOT of people in raw numbers.

 

If we say 20% of all people cheat and 1% of them got killed, in the US that would be 1% of 80M or on the order of 800,000 people. I could be wrong, but I doubt it's anything near that. There IS a steady drumbeat of these deaths, but nothing like that I think.

[DKT3]

The numbers are actually significant when you place them strictly in the female demographic. Its something like 54% of murdered women in the US and something like 40% of female murderers are a direct result of infidelities. I haven't seen the numbers in a few years so they may have shifted.. it can be somewhat hard to track because 3/4 of women are murdered by husbands, boyfriend or admirer hard to truly gauge how much is a result of infidelities.

[somanymistakes]

No - the murders are not a direct result of "infidelities", most murders are a result of insane jealous men. Often they murder people after they've broken up with them, claiming that any future relationship is a betrayal. Or in some cases, a woman who never even dated him in the first place but "betrayed" him by dating someone else.

 

If you want to take a "cautionary tale" out of it, the true caution would be - Don't Date Men, Ever.

 

Alternately, one could recognise that these are tragic aberrations and not the norm.

[elaine567]

..it can be somewhat hard to track because 3/4 of women are murdered by husbands, boyfriend or admirer hard to truly gauge how much is a result of infidelities.

 

That is what I thought too.

Even murders committed by strangers or unsolved may be in reality "hits" on cheaters or their APs...

[schlumpy]

Hmmmm…… people who have it all and want more.

 

And please ladies, no more talk about lonely hotel rooms with a bottle of pills or mangled cars wrapped around sturdy trees. It hurt my soul to read that.

 

In it's attempt to create a new model of human being, psychology has mangled peoples minds into accepting that anger is not one of the options when dealing with an affair when many times it's the only thing that can motivate the BS to save themselves or their marriage if that is their wish. It can be taken too far but I think murder is not the most likely outcome.

 

In my humble opinion of course.

[mark clemson]

Hmm. If psychology is "creating" a new model of a human being, what exactly was the "old model" and where did it come from?

 

 

 

 

Note: If your point is just that some people these days seem to have zero tolerance for understandable "venting" and that that is overly idealistic to the point of being ridiculous, I agree.

 

(For clarity, "venting" should not involve harm.)

[DKT3]

No - the murders are not a direct result of "infidelities", most murders are a result of insane jealous men. Often they murder people after they've broken up with them, claiming that any future relationship is a betrayal. Or in some cases, a woman who never even dated him in the first place but "betrayed" him by dating someone else.

 

If you want to take a "cautionary tale" out of it, the true caution would be - Don't Date Men, Ever.

 

Alternately, one could recognise that these are tragic aberrations and not the norm.

 

Same could be said about women since the percentage of women in prison for murdering husbands and boyfriends is much higher then it is in the opposite.

[Prudence V]

Should be mandatory reading/viewing.

 

That the BW may have evil intent? I think many OW suspect as much.

 

That a person can walk into somewhere and get hold of a gun so easily? That’s definitely an American problem. Most countries require proper checks, waiting times, proof of the reason you want access to a firearm, etc.

Edited September 7, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

That the BW may have evil intent? I think many OW suspect as much.

 

 

Well, that, but I was mostly referring to all of the things this woman did to catch her man (who had no idea his BS was on to him).

Edited September 7, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Prudence V]

all of the things this woman did to catch her man

 

That was pretty scary. I can see why he wanted to get away from her.

 

Looking at the pictures though, he was wayyyyy out of her league. And given what they described career-wise, too. No wonder she didn’t want to lose him. No way would she ever get that lucky again.

[DKT3]

I dont think he is out of her league looks wise. They both look average and forgettable if you bumped into them out and about.

[Watercolors]

How do these situations even escalate to this point? Where one spouse goes crazy and ends their life and the life of the affair partner, or the life of their children and spouse.

 

I can see how the distance contributed to the downfall of their marriage -- because their marriage's foundation was crumbling already by the point the husband moved out of state for his job.