A cautionary tale for wayward spouses and those in affairs with them

[mark clemson]

Looking at the pictures though, he was wayyyyy out of her league..

 

 

?? Agree with DKT3 - sometimes it's hard for men to assess other men, but I'm not seeing it.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I think all three of them are very nice looking. I don't think any of them are out of any leagues!

[DKT3]

Looks are a personal preference...rarely are people universally beautiful. But those two just blend in..if I'm being honest they look abit like brother and sister

[elaine567]

Same could be said about women since the percentage of women in prison for murdering husbands and boyfriends is much higher then it is in the opposite.

Yes, but it is a % not a number.

There are not more women murdering husbands and bfs than there are men murdering gfs and wives.

[Veronica73]

Same could be said about women since the percentage of women in prison for murdering husbands and boyfriends is much higher then it is in the opposite.

 

This makes no sense.

[chillii]

Two clever, quality women ruined by a weak and selfish guy.

The ultimate ego boost for him, and now he is smiling all the way to the bank with his new book.

Whoop di doo...

 

Has he no sense of shame? Apparently not...

 

 

 

 

Umm, how are they two quality women the other one was married too and knew exactly what she was doing and knew he was married too.

l liked his w though.

[chillii]

Same could be said about women since the percentage of women in prison for murdering husbands and boyfriends is much higher then it is in the opposite.

 

 

Yep exactly , not to mention how often they';re divorcing now to run of with affair partners they chased down on fb or God knows where. Can't believe how double standard this thread is. Even the married woman that chatted him up gets of scott free AND , it was pretty obvious she had her sights set on him from the very first interview and went to work on him from there. Not sayin he was innocent , just sayin.

Actually , so does his w for killen her , instead it gets onto how jealous men kill everyone but she's a quality woman. PS , actually l really liked her and felt bad for her butttt, just sayin.

Edited September 7, 2019 by chillii

[elaine567]

Umm, how are they two quality women the other one was married too and knew exactly what she was doing and knew he was married too.

They were quality before they got involved with him...

[chillii]

That's a good one.

 

Well the w might've been, then again she murdered someone so ahh.

[somanymistakes]

Actually , so does his w for killen her , instead it gets onto how jealous men kill everyone but she's a quality woman. PS , actually l really liked her and felt bad for her butttt, just sayin.

 

Crazy murder woman was NOT quality at all, in case you thought I thought otherwise.

 

The only reason I brought up jealous men murdering everyone was that this topic was posted as "cautionary tale for people in affairs" as if this was a NORMAL thing that happens when you sleep with a married man!!!

 

It really isn't.

 

Crazy murder women are not common.

 

Jealous men are more common but STILL not all men.

[schlumpy]

In my opinion his wife loved him very deeply. If not, I see no other motivation for her actions. It was the dark side of love that comes out as revenge but it was love that forced her hand.

 

She sent one final message that he could not answer to. He discovered the bodies and knew who was at fault. She ended everything on her terms and marked him for life.

 

His book, in my opinion, is an attempt on his part to answer her and rid himself of his guilt. Confession is good for the soul.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I watched the 20/20 episode last night, and it's really unfortunate that, aside from a lot of audio recordings, his voice/his version is the only one that is heard now. He can say whatever he wants about either of these women, including spinning the tale of how and when they met in the first place. Not that it really matters, but I didn't believe his version.

[Veronica73]

What part didn’t you believe?

[elaine567]

I didn't believe his version.

 

Probably because we all know a MM will say just about anything to make sure his side of the dish is OK...

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

What part didn’t you believe?

 

That he just happened to fall in love with the woman who interviewed him for a job out of state, and then they moved there when he got the job. I think the two of them met online beforehand and concocted this plan to get him (and his wife) up to PA so they could be together. I think it was a lot more calculated than just "I met her, fell in love...you can't help who you love!" kind of thing.

[Veronica73]

Hmmm. I guess he seems like a d-bag either way to me. Even so, that’s no excuse to go around murdering people. *shrug*

 

To whoever said he was waaaaaay out of her league...I don’t know what you are talking about if you are talking about appearances. I think she was beautiful on the outside. And looking at the photos of her when she was younger, compared to the photos of the younger woman he was having an affair with.... she was much prettier. But I’m very glad this forum is the only place I ever hear of people talking about “leagues” or scoring people’s appearances on a 1-10 scale. People I know in real life thankfully aren’t like that.

[pepperbird]

Two clever, quality women ruined by a weak and selfish guy.

The ultimate ego boost for him, and now he is smiling all the way to the bank with his new book.

Whoop di doo...

 

Has he no sense of shame? Apparently not...

 

 

Yep,

this was all his fault. It's amazing how a man can make puppets out of women, completely destroying their ability to tell right from wrong.

 

 

What's with this "victim" mentality? Yes, the guy was a sleaze, but the only one responsible for the actions of anyone here is the people themselves.

[pepperbird]

Hmmmm…… people who have it all and want more.

 

And please ladies, no more talk about lonely hotel rooms with a bottle of pills or mangled cars wrapped around sturdy trees. It hurt my soul to read that.

 

In it's attempt to create a new model of human being, psychology has mangled peoples minds into accepting that anger is not one of the options when dealing with an affair when many times it's the only thing that can motivate the BS to save themselves or their marriage if that is their wish. It can be taken too far but I think murder is not the most likely outcome.

 

In my humble opinion of course.

 

I can't like this enough.

After my spouse told me he'd cheated, I was so stressed, sad and eventually just "empty". If it wasn't for my kids, the car/tree/bottle of pills option may have looked really good to me. I also knew my husband needed me and was hurting far worse than I was, for other reasons.

 

That's the thing a lot of WS/OW/OM who haven't experienced this don't understand. Many BS have their WS 100 percent of their love and trust. It's incredibly painful to have that taken away. It's such a foundation of a person's life that, when that's lost, it can shake you to your core. Your world no longer makes any sense. I was having pieces published that I didn't even remember writing because my mind was racing so much. I've heard of BS driving to work, doing their job, coming home etc. all on autopilot because they are hurting so much.

 

I really wish those who chose to get into n affair would really stop and think about the impact it could have on other people. Other people who , in all likelihood, did nothing to warrant them being treated that way.

[pepperbird]

I think all three of them are very nice looking. I don't think any of them are out of any leagues!

 

 

I think there's some obvious bias in this thread.

[pepperbird]

They were quality before they got involved with him...

 

 

Aw come on.

 

 

That's like saying Kalra was a "quality women" until she met Paul Bernardo.

 

When it comes to situations like this, the man didn't "make" the women do anything. They did that all on their own. Would you say the same thing about an OW if a WH shoots his BS? It's her fault? He was a"quality man" who only did it because of her influence?

 

 

At some point, people are responsible for their own choices.

[elaine567]

Yep,

this was all his fault.

 

One woman was ultimately responsible, but the common denominator was him.

Had he not been cheating this would never have happened.

He went buzzing around from flower to flower, and his wife snapped... one could say due to extreme provocation...

[pepperbird]

Had he not been cheating this would never have happened.

 

 

And if a bank didn't have money, it wouldn't get robbed

If a car doesn't go on the road, it will never get in an accident

If a woman doesn't wear that outfit, she won't get hit on

 

 

I'm not saying he's a great guy. He's a sleaze. The thing is that there is no excuse for her actions. She had other choices. She chose this one.

[elaine567]

The thing is that there is no excuse for her actions. She had other choices. She chose this one.

Well it really depends on her mental state at the time, how much "choice" she actually had.

[pepperbird]

Well it really depends on her mental state at the time, how much "choice" she actually had.

 

 

Unless she'd had a psychotic break, she had choices. She chose this one.

 

I'm not trying to minimize her pain. Hell, I've been there before myself. Not to sound crass, but if she was in such a dark place that she felt she wanted to end her life, that's tragic, but it's her right to make that choice.

 

She had no right to make that same choice for anyone else.

[LivingWaterPlease]

Very interesting comments at the articles' end. Especially appreciated comments by Dustin (poster).