Regithier Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 Hi all! Me and my partner have 2 children and have been together for 4 years. Recently she’s started making the bed whilst I’m still in bed. I proceed to ask if she’d stop and that I’ll just make the bed when I get up and she carries on. Can anyone tell me if they’ve experienced this. She doesn’t stop when I ask calmly and then it just turns into full blown arguments about stuff. I just think it’s a bit weird that she makes the bed whilst I’m still in it... Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 Do you have a habit of sleeping in late while she gets up and takes care of everything solo? Is this her way of telling you to get your butt out of bed? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 You have two children, she is telling you that you cannot just lie in bed whilst she is struggling to cope... It's a plea for help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 I just think it’s a bit weird that she makes the bed whilst I’m still in it... Or is it a bit weird that you stay in the bed while she makes it? That asked, there is a simple solution to this. You could instead decide to start getting up and stop laying about in bed, while she's doing adult things. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Regithier Posted September 7, 2019 Author Share Posted September 7, 2019 Um, no actually, I’m regularly up before her, sorting the kids and letting her sleep. And like every other forum people jump the gun. Absolutely no help in those answers. I just think it’s strange to make any bed when someone’s in it. Regardless of the time. Just wanted peoples thoughts, not assumptions... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Regithier Posted September 7, 2019 Author Share Posted September 7, 2019 Whatever, she sleeps more than me and I work and sort loads out. But I don’t make the bed when she’s in it. I let her sleep and make it when she gets up. And for ages. I would do the same, if a day came and I could have a bit of rest I would make the bed when I woke up 1 Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 Why don't you make the bed when she's in it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Regithier Posted September 7, 2019 Author Share Posted September 7, 2019 I actually may do that next time ? see how she likes it 3 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 When she does that, she's telling you it's time to get up. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 I actually may do that next time ? see how she likes it Do you want a divorce? Maybe just listen to what her actions are telling you... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Regithier Posted September 7, 2019 Author Share Posted September 7, 2019 A divorce? I’m not married, again just assumptions, I’m starting to think you’ve been neglected in past relationships. Not all men are the same Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 I think it’s weird too. And she probably is telling you she thinks it is time for you get up. But it seems passive aggressive. I’d be quite annoyed if I were you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 Passive aggressive and annoying way of telling you to get up. For me, I think making the bed is a strange concept...my bed is a messy nest of pillows and quilts and stuff. If someone started making the bed while I was in it, there would be sex to un-make that bed pretty quickly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 Everyone is telling you the same thing... So OK, why do YOU think she is doing it? Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 Please be aware that we can only reach assumptions if you leave out vital facts when you outline your problem. Please include any pertinent details so forum members can avoid jumping to conclusions. My opinion is that she is indeed sending you a message. Whether it has to do with the kids of some ongoing dispute that you two have been tussling with is for you decide. I'm hearing a message. I just don't know what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Regithier Posted September 7, 2019 Author Share Posted September 7, 2019 Things have been good for a while now, it’s just some new habit she’s got into, she was going to make me tea before it, but refused to in the end because I wouldn’t let her make the bed? I’m happy to make the tea so I did and I got up anyway, I’m just curious if anyone else had experienced something like that. It’s a general thread and not really meant to be including problems if there are any at all. I was just wondering is all Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 No, I don’t think I have ever experienced that and I would be pretty annoyed if I did. I mean... I had an ex who would wake up, and then poke me and say “are you awake?”. Omg, so annoying. I’d be like, “Well I am now “ Making the bed while I was still in it would be even worse. I mean if you’re just a lazy slacker who doesn’t carry their own weight, fine. Or if your sleeping schedules are so out of whack you don’t get to spend time together. Otherwise, let your partner sleep when they want to. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 I vaguely remember a thread like this before here....like within the last year or so. So, it seems at least someone else is having this problem. I'd probably just stay there and when she comes to find you tell her you were afraid to mess up the bed by getting out of it . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 She doesn’t stop when I ask calmly and then it just turns into full blown arguments about stuff. Have you asked her why she is making the bed while you are in it? What does she say? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 Have you asked her why she is making the bed while you are in it? What does she say? This. Ten characters 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Slate Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 She is clearly exhibiting passive aggressive behavior. You did something to piss her off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 Yes, it's passive aggressive and meant to annoy. You both need to talk about this and find out what is behind it. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 Um, no actually, I’m regularly up before her, sorting the kids and letting her sleep. And like every other forum people jump the gun. Absolutely no help in those answers. I just think it’s strange to make any bed when someone’s in it. Regardless of the time. Just wanted peoples thoughts, not assumptions... Haaa, didn't think this would be about actually making a bed . Think l'd last once, maybe twice, but that'd drive me effg crazy and she'd be told. She's being neurotic and is obviously shytty about you being in bed , but it sounds like it's plenty fair enough you are in bed to me and double standards. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 Ask her. And listen. It's not about making the bed as long as you're honest that you always do it when you get up later. So ask her before you go to bed at night why she's been doing it. I'm sure you'll get an earful. As long as you're doing your part and not shirking some duty and just getting some shuteye as she herself does on occasion, it's not right. But you need to ask her calmly before bed why she's doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 . She doesn’t stop when I ask calmly and then it just turns into full blown arguments about stuff. What "stuff" would that be? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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