JackieDaniels1977 Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 (edited) My best friend and I don't see eye to eye on parenting. We have been friends for over 30+ years and both are kids are about a month apart and almost 13. My Daughter and I have been very open about life and anything she may have heard or seen on Tv. or anything at school. I tell her she can come to me and her dad when ever with what ever and we will always give her a chance to ask or tell us what ever she wants. We may not always be happy with what she tells us but we will never be mad at her. and she follows this with out question. My friend on the other hand doesn't want to hear any of the stuff her daughter asks or listens to on her phone. Doesn't let her pick her cloths doesn't let her express herself but has let her do cosplay and after me nagging her let her kid buy two tee shirts that she wanted for school. let her. Her daughter recently has started cutting herself and is confused as to if she is in to guys , girls or both. and told my Daughter to other day that she loved her and wanted to be her girlfriend. My Daughter was upset by this because she never saw this coming. and She told me she likes boys and had no idea how to tell her friend she wasn't interested. My Daughter has boy's like last on her list of important things right now. I told my Daughter which she did today, to let her friend know she loved her but only as a friend and not the way she wanted her to. Then I had a long talk with my friend about this and she told me she knew about the crush and was trying to nipp it in the but before it got out of hand. I love my friend and her kid but now that the cat is out the bag. and my kid and I are open minded about peoples sexual orientation, How do I get them to to remain best friends with out this problem be there between them. Should I stay on the sidelines and keep an eye on this and hope it go's way or what??? Edited September 7, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 I think you've handled it well in your advice to your daughter. I'd encourage her to still be her friend and also tell her to make sure she doesn't divulge this information to anyone else at school because it's her friend's private information to tell people if/when she wants to. Just keep the lines of communication open like you have been with your daughter (well done) and ask her about her friend every once in a while to keep tabs on the situation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 Well, you may not be able to save their friendship because young crushes are painful, but you did all you can do and yours just need to be straight up and tell her, sorry, not gay, love you only as a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 7, 2019 Share Posted September 7, 2019 Do you know this mother well enough to pass along some info to her? See if she knows that cutting is often caused by the child feeling unable to express her feelings. This is not always within the child. Sometimes it's the parent who isn't letting them express their feelings. One example, someone I know, her mother is a chronic Pollyanna. Her mission is to always be positive and poo-poo anything negative. As a result, she contradicts people constantly who are just trying to talk to her about everyday stuff, and tries to see the bright side and pushes that on them. Her only daughter was a cutter because she was never allowed to express a negative emotion or thought without being poo-poo'd for it. This girl's mom has even said she's tried to nip it in the bud, so she's openly not accepting her talking about her confused feelings on gender already. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JackieDaniels1977 Posted September 8, 2019 Author Share Posted September 8, 2019 I have know the mother for 30+ years and you the last five years or so she has acted more like her stepmorhter, to her own Daughter. Her husband and I have both pointed out to her and she doesn't see it. Not Bashing Stepmothers at all but this on Lady that's been my best friends mother for 40 years has not only messed my friend up she has messed up her other children as well. That is such a long story I don't even think there is space or time to write it all. And Now My husbands friend and I are trying to fit it as much as possible. I will pass what you said along to her. Link to post Share on other sites
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