RecentChange Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 You seem to have a number of difficulties surrounding sex. Forgive me if I am confusing you but don’t you: Have difficulties orgasming Have difficulties becoming aroused by your girlfriend or “vanilla “ sex And now sex also causes you insomnia? I know medical doctors have been mentioned, but have you ever spoken to a counselor? These things might all be related and could stem from a common source. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 You seem to have a number of difficulties surrounding sex. I know medical doctors have been mentioned, but have you ever spoken to a counselor? These things might all be related and could stem from a common source. I agree. I also have to wonder if you are just oversexed... it seems to take up a lot of space in your life. Not saying that’s a bad thing, but when it’s causing you these kinds of troubles, maybe it becomes that... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted May 30, 2019 Author Share Posted May 30, 2019 Oh well I have it like maybe every couple of days, but that's not oversexed, is it, when it a relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 Oh well I have it like maybe every couple of days, but that's not oversexed, is it, when it a relationship? No. Given the comments in some of your threads, I had the impression that you were much more focused on sex than that.. Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted May 31, 2019 Share Posted May 31, 2019 It is perfectly natural for sex to cause insomnia. I find it very hard to sleep when I'm being sexually stimulated In all seriousness, perhaps sex causes insomnia because it is a kind of exercise. I mean, depending on how you do it. If it increases your heart rate, it might keep you awake... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 31, 2019 Share Posted May 31, 2019 did you see the doctor ironpony?? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 31, 2019 Share Posted May 31, 2019 It is perfectly natural for sex to cause insomnia. I find it very hard to sleep when I'm being sexually stimulated In all seriousness, perhaps sex causes insomnia because it is a kind of exercise. I mean, depending on how you do it. If it increases your heart rate, it might keep you awake... Interesting, this sounds plausible. But what about the flood of serotonin and oxytocin after orgasm? That should sort things out heart-wise. I do agree that if I didn't orgasm, there's no effing way I'm falling asleep... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted June 3, 2019 Author Share Posted June 3, 2019 Well as far as orgasm goes, a lot of the times, I premature ejaculate before I reach orgasm, so could be causing the serotonin and oxytocin to not be released after, thereby keeping me awake? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 Well as far as orgasm goes, a lot of the times, I premature ejaculate before I reach orgasm, so could be causing the serotonin and oxytocin to not be released after, thereby keeping me awake? did you go to the Dr.? i'm guessing no Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 They say not to exercise before bed. Orgasm will offset the effects for sure. Seems obvious to me, no need for random drugs. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 Well as far as orgasm goes, a lot of the times, I premature ejaculate before I reach orgasm, so could be causing the serotonin and oxytocin to not be released after, thereby keeping me awake? Sounds very plausible. Also, if you are ejaculating at the start, that explains why you'd need 50 min of rough sex to orgasm... when that happens, why not just give her an orgasm in other ways and then call it a night instead? I find it hard to imagine that she enjoys 50 min of pure PIV pounding. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 I find it hard to imagine that she enjoys 50 min of pure PIV pounding. many women can go around 10 minutes with PIV pounding before they get sore Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted June 4, 2019 Author Share Posted June 4, 2019 Sounds very plausible. Also, if you are ejaculating at the start, that explains why you'd need 50 min of rough sex to orgasm... when that happens, why not just give her an orgasm in other ways and then call it a night instead? I find it hard to imagine that she enjoys 50 min of pure PIV pounding. Oh I always give her her orgasm first, but I would at least like to try to have mine, otherwise I just stay horny for sure, and she wants me to have mine too she always says. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 Aren’t there other ways to orgasm besides PIV? Hand jobs, oral etc? My husband can get “stuck” if he shuts down his orgasm a few times (he has great control when it comes to suppressing orgasm - but after a certain point makes it very hard to come). Often if I have had many orgasms - at that point I’ll just be done (I jokingly refer to it as my pussy surrendering) - but I am still up for playing with him and getting him off. 50 mins of continuous PIV sex does not sound appealing at all to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted June 4, 2019 Author Share Posted June 4, 2019 I find the other ways to be harder though, in experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 Oh I always give her her orgasm first, but I would at least like to try to have mine, otherwise I just stay horny for sure, and she wants me to have mine too she always says. When you ejaculate during PE, doesn't that mean you've already orgasmed? I know that guys can orgasm without ejaculation if they train themselves, but didn't know it works the other way around. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted June 5, 2019 Author Share Posted June 5, 2019 What I mean is, is that I ejaculate before the orgasm, and then I fail to have the orgasm. It happens a lot more lately for some reason, I think it's cause I haven't had sex for a while and have been really backed up over the months, if that makes sense? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 5, 2019 Share Posted June 5, 2019 What I mean is, is that I ejaculate before the orgasm, and then I fail to have the orgasm. It happens a lot more lately for some reason, I think it's cause I haven't had sex for a while and have been really backed up over the months, if that makes sense? do you have nocturnal emissions? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted June 6, 2019 Author Share Posted June 6, 2019 do you have nocturnal emissions? No, I've never had one before, accept maybe once as a teen. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 What I mean is, is that I ejaculate before the orgasm, and then I fail to have the orgasm. It happens a lot more lately for some reason, I think it's cause I haven't had sex for a while and have been really backed up over the months, if that makes sense? Prolactin plus oxytocin, gamma amino butyric acid, endorphins is the chemical cocktail that causes men to fall asleep immediately after sex. Prolactin is released by the pituitary gland when you orgasm, and is thought to be the main sleep inducing component (not the same for women). If you're ejaculating separately, and then failing to reach full orgasm it's likely that the sleep inducing cocktail isn't being delivered and your body stays in a confused, ramped-up mode. I had that happen the first time with a new girlfriend. I was holding back (as RecentChange described) to prolong sex and went past the window of opportunity. Later I was tossing and turning and unable to sleep even though I felt satiated in one sense. So finally she sat up and said, I know what you need... and we did another quick, vigorous round so I could orgasm. Then I fell straight to sleep and slept like a baby through the night. Separating ejaculation from the orgasm is hard to do for most men, but can be practiced by learning to relax the PC muscle that involuntarily contracts during orgasm. So the question is, can you control it in the other direction? And if not, can you wait through a refectory period (30 min or so) and go another round specifically have a coordinated orgasm? Or if you can let it all loose the first time by not holding back, perhaps that would be preferable assuming you can give her her's first. I think you just need the full orgasm, however you can make it happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 What I mean is, is that I ejaculate before the orgasm, and then I fail to have the orgasm. It happens a lot more lately for some reason, I think it's cause I haven't had sex for a while and have been really backed up over the months, if that makes sense? It's interesting that this happens for you - it's really uncommon for men to ejaculate without orgasm as far as I'm aware (possible the other way around, but takes a lot of training). When you say PE, do you mean that you cum during, say, the first minute of stimulation, or do you literally just cum in your pants? If the latter, it might be just a "ruined orgasm" in a sense. There are a few ways to address this, but I have the feeling that a sex therapist could help you better than we can. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 No, I've never had one before, accept maybe once as a teen. are you on any meds that may cause the problem? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted June 11, 2019 Author Share Posted June 11, 2019 No, no medication. Sometimes I feel a bit of a headache though after sex, that lasts for a while, could that be any clue as to why it's causing me insomnia. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted June 11, 2019 Author Share Posted June 11, 2019 (edited) Prolactin plus oxytocin, gamma amino butyric acid, endorphins is the chemical cocktail that causes men to fall asleep immediately after sex. Prolactin is released by the pituitary gland when you orgasm, and is thought to be the main sleep inducing component (not the same for women)...... What if I were to buy Prolactin? I tried melatonin, like people say, but it has absolutely no effect on me it seems. It make me more tired, but I won't fall asleep. Could Prolactin work better if that is the chemical my body is missing to fall asleep? Edited June 11, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 (edited) @ironpony...... I don't know anything about artificially boosting prolactin levels in men. I have a feeling that it would not be comparable to the chemical cocktail that is released by orgasm during sex. If I were you I'd try to figure out how to have more control and coordinated orgasms both for the sleep issue and sexual satisfaction. This article may help you understand that PE is treatable. It says (bottom) that treatment is successful for 95 out of 100 men. Edited June 11, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
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