Tim453 Posted September 8, 2019 Share Posted September 8, 2019 (edited) Hello, last weekend I was out with this girl (and a few friends that left, we went clubbing). We talked pretty long after leaving the club, held hands, she told me a lot about herself and said how much she trusts me. I am pretty scared person (socially awkward + anxious I'd say, that's probably why I am even asking such a "dumb" question). So when I brought her home we started hugging each other a lot and cuddled a little. We both were a little tipsy (7/10 drunk maybe? like we could still walk straight and talk). I don't know why but I asked if I could touch her butt and she said "I don't mind". So I did it and she kept hugging me even closer. I asked if everyone can do this and she said "no you should feel special". She also said: "I wanna go out with you alone". The next morning I texted her and asked if she can remember the night and she said yes. Should I take what happened that night as a sign that she likes me? Or did she think me touching her butt was just "friendly and funny". We went out again with friends on last Saturday (drunk again, maybe a 5/10 this time). She brought me home and we were hugging/cuddling a lot again (I touched her butt again). She said again that she wanted to go out with me alone again and told me to text her the next day. She also showed me her friends and I was allowed to text them. So, I am pretty sure I can ask her on a date right? Is it fine if I would ask her if I could kiss her at the end of the date? Or would that ruin it? I am way too scared, I don't wanna mess it up. Thanks! Edited September 8, 2019 by Tim453 Link to post Share on other sites
elastica Posted September 8, 2019 Share Posted September 8, 2019 Are you saying you touched her butt but never kissed her? Yes you should definitely ask her out. She told you already twice she wants to go out with you, right? And definitely go for the kiss too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tim453 Posted September 8, 2019 Author Share Posted September 8, 2019 I haven't kissed her. I am too scared. When we were hugging we were touching foreheads and looked at each other. I don't know. I will ask her out tomorrow. Do you think it is fine to ask if I can kiss her? Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted September 8, 2019 Share Posted September 8, 2019 From what you describe all signs are that she wants you to kiss her and ask her out. If you are hugging and touching foreheads perhaps you can ease into it slow. Kiss her forehead see how that goes. If well kiss her cheek then just pull back very slightly so your lips are still near her cheek, pause for the briefest moment, she may well turn so you can kiss. Even if she doesn't turn you may be able to tell she would like you to kiss her. For example if she hugs you more closely. Alternatively you could say I the close moment, "I really would like to kiss you." I somehow think that is better than can I kiss you. It kind of puts it out there and if she is feeling it she may lean, say me too, or something like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 8, 2019 Share Posted September 8, 2019 Absolutely ask her out for a one on one date. Have fun Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tim453 Posted September 8, 2019 Author Share Posted September 8, 2019 Thank you for your answers. The only thing I am worried about is that she didn't mean all of this in a romantic way and that I get rejected. But I guess that's a risk I have to take! P.S: Your answer kinda boosted my self-confidence in this topic! I will ask her right away tomorrow when I see her alone! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 8, 2019 Share Posted September 8, 2019 How old are you? I'm hoping in your teens. Second, just so you know, touching someone's butt is more than kissing them. And if you kiss them first and gradually work up to making out with each date, then you don't and shouldn't ask to touch someone's butt. If they are making out with you (unless they're really drunk that they don't know what they're doing), touching is a part of the natural progression of things. She now knows you're a virgin by you asking her like that before even kissing. So you better kiss her next time. When you first pick her up for the date, give her a quick peck on the lips just to set the tone. Then at the end of the night, give her a good kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tim453 Posted September 8, 2019 Author Share Posted September 8, 2019 (edited) How old are you? I'm hoping in your teens. Second, just so you know, touching someone's butt is more than kissing them. And if you kiss them first and gradually work up to making out with each date, then you don't and shouldn't ask to touch someone's butt. If they are making out with you (unless they're really drunk that they don't know what they're doing), touching is a part of the natural progression of things. She now knows you're a virgin by you asking her like that before even kissing. So you better kiss her next time. When you first pick her up for the date, give her a quick peck on the lips just to set the tone. Then at the end of the night, give her a good kiss. Okay, yeah I am a virgin. I am 18. I am scared. I don't know why. You know, I am even scared asking her on a date. I already looked up the perfect place to go (which I know she will enjoy) but I am scared to go to her place and ask her, especially because she is living with multiple other girls. I am scared the other girls will laugh at me when she rejects me. I don't know why I have these fears. The "butt touching part" was more or less something I wanted to do to tease her. I didn't expect her to go with it. I should have kissed her then- And is touching someones butt actually considered "more" than kissing someone? So basically if she lets me touch her butt, I can assume I am also good to kiss her? Edited September 8, 2019 by Tim453 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 8, 2019 Share Posted September 8, 2019 Faint heart never won fair lady. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 She wants you ask her out, OP. That's why she has now told you twice she would like to go out with you alone. The signs are all there that she is interested. Don't wait too long or someone else will snap her up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tim453 Posted September 9, 2019 Author Share Posted September 9, 2019 One reason why I am so scared is probably because I don't know if she actually ment what she said. Like the one night we were at he club and some dude started buying her drinks and then started dancing with her. She always looked at me while dancing with him. At some point, like 3am, I told her that I would leave but she could stay. She then said "nah I don't wanna dance with him, it doesn't mean anything. I will leave when you leave cause I wanna be with you". Why does she dance with that dude in the first place then? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 Maybe he started dancing with her and you didn't? Everyone is afraid of rejection, not just you. It's a normal feeling. But, if you never try, you'll never know. All signs point to her being into you, so take the plunge! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 Doing anything for the 1st time is scary. Opening yourself up & risking rejection is scary. She is doing & saying all the right things to make her interest known. She danced with that guy because she is single & likes to dance. Be brave. Ask her on the date. I think you can trust her words. Remember though if she says no, that is not an overall assessment of you. She may be scared & unready to date. Don't let fear hold you back. Spending time with her one on one should be relatively easy because you have already spent time together in a group. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 Dude she was ready to sleep with you that night...... she wants you bad. She finds your awkwardness kinda cute, that's where the appeal lies, but don't let it get so bad to the point she gets frustrated. Don't ask to kiss her.....just do it. This is an opportunity of a life time right here. Ask her out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 Stop over analyzing everything. The signs are there. You don't ask a girl if you can kiss her. You can tell if she's willing so you just go for it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tim453 Posted September 9, 2019 Author Share Posted September 9, 2019 Thank you for all your answers. This is really motivating me. How am I going to ask her on a date? Should I just go over to her place, see if she is there, and then ask her? I have a place and date in mind already. And even if I get rejected, that would probably be good, too. I would learn from it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tim453 Posted September 9, 2019 Author Share Posted September 9, 2019 Maybe he started dancing with her and you didn't? This is sadly a pretty accurate description of what happened... :/ 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 One reason why I am so scared is probably because I don't know if she actually ment what she said. Like the one night we were at he club and some dude started buying her drinks and then started dancing with her. She always looked at me while dancing with him. At some point, like 3am, I told her that I would leave but she could stay. She then said "nah I don't wanna dance with him, it doesn't mean anything. I will leave when you leave cause I wanna be with you". Why does she dance with that dude in the first place then? You were to timid and the other guy wasn't. You would be wise to step up your game. If you don't dance, learn. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 Thank you for all your answers. This is really motivating me. How am I going to ask her on a date? Should I just go over to her place, see if she is there, and then ask her? I have a place and date in mind already. And even if I get rejected, that would probably be good, too. I would learn from it. Plan something. Take in a movie, etc. or go get something to eat together. You CALL her. Just say I'd like to take you (movie, etc), give her a date and time. No problem if she can't make it because you can adjust the day/time during your conversation. You set the date and tone. The signs are all good you should be fine. If you don't act she will move on. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 How am I going to ask her on a date? Should I just go over to her place, see if she is there, and then ask her? It's good that you have an idea for the date. You don't have to go over there. You can call her. Use the voice feature of the phone, not text. It's OK to send the text to see if you can call her. If you will see her in the next day or two you can wait until you see her & ask in person. Just showing up may be unwelcome so don't to that 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 This is sadly a pretty accurate description of what happened... :/ Step up your game. Strength is attractive. Hanging back waiting won't get you much. She's attracted to you right now but if you don't learn to move with the vibes (pretty obvious from your posts) someone else will step in front of you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 It's good that you have an idea for the date. You don't have to go over there. You can call her. Use the voice feature of the phone, not text. It's OK to send the text to see if you can call her. If you will see her in the next day or two you can wait until you see her & ask in person. Just showing up may be unwelcome so don't to that Yep, a call is direct and let's her know you're interested. She's put out her interest in you. If you don't act someone else will. She's not gonna wait around forever. I get it you're shy, never done this before. Font really know how to start. This is easy. She's interested so MOVE on it. Nothing to be affraid of here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tim453 Posted September 9, 2019 Author Share Posted September 9, 2019 The problem right now is just that I can't call her since she broke her phone one night when we went out. Apparently IPhones aren't waterproof . So what should I do? Wait till I see her in person? I don't have any classes with her unfortunately. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 If it were me and I was interested I'd make it a point to see her. Casually. If you know where she hangs out or has class. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 The problem right now is just that I can't call her since she broke her phone one night when we went out. Apparently IPhones aren't waterproof . So what should I do? Wait till I see her in person? I don't have any classes with her unfortunately. Oh. If it's college & her phone is broken you can go over there but if you can email her to tell her you are coming that might be OK. Do you know her class schedule? Can you pop up there? Link to post Share on other sites
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