She wanted a break

[Ckuk1983]

O.k lets start

 

I met a girl 7 weeks on tinder.

We texted for the 1st week and decided to meet her.

She was amazing....everything in girl i ever wanted.

We texted everday and she even told me i was the best dates shes ever had and yes we slept together and even gad another date after that.

But she had a bad breakup.

She is going through a divorce and she told me how her husband left her when her son was 2months.

He said its bot the life he wanted and left....shes only seen him once in 6 months and they email eachother to organise when to see his son.

Hes told her that hes going away with his new g.f and he will be moving in with her on his return.

She said she hates him but i think she still in love him.

We went on 5 amazing dates and everything was going great untill she text and said she needed time and space to think what she wants in a relationship.

I text her to tell her im here for her but havnt spoken to her in 5 days.

I have 2 sons and i think she sees how much i am a great dad to my kids.

Shes told her family and friends about me and i dont want to lose her.

Basically shes had a year off from work and started back on monday.

Has a 7 month year old.

Going through a divorce.

Living back with her mum n dad

And also getting jealous over her husband new g.f.

I dont think i have a chance

Any advice?

Edited September 9, 2019 by Ckuk1983

[preraph]

You need to just put this on the back burner because she's got a long way to go before she's disentangled from her ex, and anything could happen with them. If he gets sick of his new woman, he'd be back seeing if she'd sleep with him and comfort him, and she would. So you'd be wise to stay out of this and stop seeing her and tell to feel free to check in with you periodically, but she's not ready for the next relationship and won't be anytime soon.

[d0nnivain]

She was never emotionally available to date you.

[Ckuk1983]

I just feel like i did something wrong...still in shock.

I think we got on to well....its a shame because shes such a loving caring person.

I guess we met at wrong times in our lifes

Plus she hasnt deleted me off facebook......she also went on 3 dates before me, so it couldnt of been all bad.

Edited September 9, 2019 by Ckuk1983

[d0nnivain]

You didn't do anything wrong. She was all over the place before you met & she is still trying to figure out who she is. She may have tried to use you to get over him but that doesn't mean you did wrong.

[Ckuk1983]

Thanks for the advice.

 

I know shes not ready yet...i hope she does reach out because we had such a good laugh.

And shes definately a girl i would of fallen in love with.

I just have to keep my dignity and hope she texts me one day.

[PRW]

Besides the mess of a life she is in this was probably going to happen anyway.

 

O.k lets start

 

• We texted for the 1st week
  
• She was amazing....everything in girl i ever wanted.
  
• We texted everday
  
• We went on 5 amazing dates and everything was going great untill she text and said she needed time and space to think what she wants in a relationship.
  
• I text her to tell her im here for her but

You were over pursuing. The line about "said she needed time and space to think what she wants in a relationship" was just a classic response that results from a guy over pursuing.

[Foxhall]

Family and friends are likely to persuade her to put you on the back burner for a while,

 

unfortunately for you (or fortunately depending what way you look at it!) I imagine she will take her family and friends advice.

 

perhaps a year -18 months down the line she will then decide she is ready again for a relationship,

 

she might reach out,

 

will you be still waiting-well maybe if you dont find anyone else.

[The Outlaw]

You didn't do anything wrong, but it's hard to make a clean break from anyone you share a child with and she likely still isn't over him. Best thing you can do is give her space.

[fred123]

Besides the mess of a life she is in this was probably going to happen anyway.

 

 

You were over pursuing. The line about "said she needed time and space to think what she wants in a relationship" was just a classic response that results from a guy over pursuing.

 

or from a guy shes not into? how can u know for sure if its overpursuing? if it was ronaldo doing over pursuing different outcome perhaps?

[PRW]

or from a guy shes not into?

True

 

how can u know for sure if its overpursuing?

By my experience of a couple years of doing this in this forum (and others similar) and reading endless descriptions from people describing the couple weeks they spent with the person before they got dumped and what the person said when they dumped them. The "texting everyday" is a big one along with all the over the top descriptions of the woman and the date experiences.

 

For example:

 

1. She was amazing....
   
2. everything in girl i ever wanted.
   
3. We texted everday
   
4. We went on 5 amazing dates
   
5. I text her to tell her im here for her
   

Yea, one of those items by itself, maybe just an eyebrow raise,...but put them all together and compare it to what I've read over and over in the past years of people making a mess out of whatever opportunities they have,...yea,...that's how I know.

 

if it was ronaldo doing over pursuing different outcome perhaps?

If you're asking if he did not over pursue, would it have been different, then yea it could have been different. But he still could have got dumped for other things we don't know about, too. But the less reasons you give someone to be turned off by you the better off you are going to be. However over-pursuing seems to be the number one reason guys (in particular) get dumped between the 3rd and 5th week, according to what I have seen from my years of studying the "dating phenomena". It happens on occasion with women, but men are the primary perpetrator of doing this.

[fromheart]

5 dates and your getting hung up on a woman with enough baggage to fill a freight train. You having difficulties to sort out yourself.

 

Maybe you need something a bit more easy going, instead of a full on relationship when you both have alot going on.

 

Jealous about her ex with you around?! I'd get up and leave, so she can sit there thinking about her ex. Wouldn't want to disturb the moment.

[mark clemson]

Think you want to be real careful about getting too emotionally attached to this woman and then having her Ex suddenly come back into her life. Sounds like you might already realize this, though.