How to get over BETRAYAL from friends?

[Lostsoul1]

I have/ had three friends ( C, A, K) who I am very close to. We been friends for atleast 8 Years. We recently became a friend circle.

I had another friend (E) who I been friends with separately. I have been friends with her for 5 years.

That friend has gotten to know my other friends through me last year.

 

E has borrowed my husband's car and returned it back damaged. She didnt appear sorry and seemed like she didn't want to take the responsibility because her friend drove it at the car and caused the damage. She felt like I am.ganging up on her when it was ( according to her) not her fault that the car was damaged.

 

I sent her a voice note expressing my frustration and demanded she has to pay and that it's her fault and it's a bad look on me how she is behaving. She never replied but she sorted it out with my husband shortly after that. She left all what's app group chats that I was in and never called me.since.

 

Weeks have passed, I wasn't mad anymore and thought we could move on from what occurred. When I realised that my friend K and C have been meeting up with her, without telling me about it.

When I found out I asked them why are they leaving me out and they said, no it was just a coincidence bla bla.

I told them.that I feel left out and K said I have to accept that E wants the distance but K and C won't leave me out and that we remain friends despite that.

After a while I tried to reach out to E that it's not worth it to sabotage our friendship considering the fact that we are : 1. In the same friend circle 2. Our children are friends 3. We have been friends for some time

She said she was still too upset and things will never be the same for her now. She said how I approached her was bad and she was shocked and upset that I talked to her like a stranger. I apologized but I guess she hasnt accepted it.

 

She now continues to build a relationship with close friends of mine despite wanting nothing to do with me. She ignores me on my best friends birthday ! And my.other friends can see how it upsets me that they see how she treats me and still they hang out with her.

 

I felt very disappointed about the fact that my 8 year friends couldn't be loyal to me and tell E that: 1. She made a mistake and 2.she is trying to bully me and they won't support it.

 

They keep on saying I should not let her make.me.feel uncomfortable and move on but they dont understand how hurtful this whole thing is to me . The fact that she ignores me but talks to them is very discerning.

 

I feel betrayed and alone. Should I stay away from all.of them.or.tell.them.how I feel?

The thing is.i have already told K and A how I felt and they said they understand but they want to be neutral.

Why do they feel like they have to be neutral when a person is clearly doing me wrong?

 

Am I expecting too much of people ?

I personally couldn't go along with that if I see that a friend is trying to bully another friend of mine.

 

Ps; especially about K I feel most uneasy about her because she is in close contact with E. I dont know what's being said about me when I'm not around. I feel conflicted because K is meant to take me to surgery next month .she has already taken her day off to support me ( the surgery is in another country and she is coming with me to help me and be there ) but now I dont feel easy about it.

Edited September 10, 2019 by Lostsoul1

[Rayce]

I am so sorry that your circle of friends are behaving like this. It seems so petty and back stabbing to me. Concentrate on your husband and your children. You can find better friends than these. A confrontation will only make you feel worst. It's not worth it. You can leave the door open that way and maybe down the road you can all try again. Can you find someone else to go with you for the surgery? Your husband? Family member?

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

At the very, very, very end of the day... This is gonna be hard to hear, but this one is on you.

 

Why? You should of never borrowed your vehicle out. Now you have a damaged vehicle and one less friend... If she would of acted this way over you not lending your vehicle, that I could side with you on, but in this situation, you just made a mistake by lending your vehicle out, plain and simple.

 

Who should pay for the damages? Well of course she should, but she probably cannot and now since she cannot, she is being scolded for damaging the vehicle, but also for having no money and being scolded for having no money is a brutal feeling.

 

In the future, you should set the limitations of what happens when you lend your vehicle out, saying "If the vehicle is damaged, who will pay for the damages?" or better yet, just do not lend it out.

 

I am not trying to be a bad guy here, but really and truly, lending your vehicle out was a mistake.