analysing old break up text

[fred123]

im still trying to analyse an old break up text. memories have been bought to the forefront again unfortunately.

 

heres the message after we broke she sent me.

 

"I am very sorry how things ended and how i made you feel. I dont condone my behaviour and feel woful for making you feel that way and hurting you. However it was not done intentionally . i did not decide to go out and be difficult and hurt you. Instead i had my guard up at the start. I stand by feeling things were intense when we were dating which is why i didnt do certain things. I have done them now because i am not in a position where i feel intense with someone. It may look from the outside intense however it is not because we are very relaxed and there dis no rush or urgency to do or say something.

 

Being with someone Jewish is very important to me. And even though i dint think it was, when i had a realisation of settling down and seeing people around me do the same with their jewish partners, i knew that i wanted and needed to do the same thing. I am not maing excuses however you come from a similar background and culture where you should be able to understand and so should your family. You cannot just say " well i can convert' it isn't as easy as that and it isn't quite the same."

 

to me i dont understand what she means by saying she is not in a position where she feels intense with someone to do things and there is no rush or urgency to do or say something. I dont even get what she is saying. there wqs never any rush to do or say anything when we were together. i am so confused lol.

and also she said she never did certain things with me as she found our relationship intense but why then she says yes to being my girlfriend and saying she fallen in love with me. i dont get it. surely if she is saying she loves me she would want pics with me and invite me to events etc?

so how can she now say that she didnt do these things with me as she found it intense? but yet had fallen in love with me?

also my friend who is a girl says intense relationships are sometimes tje best but that doesnt mean u dont do certain things. u still take pics together and do things together.

[basil67]

Fred, this is why so many don't give a reason for ending a relationship. It's because one person's perspective is different to the other person's perspective and therefore doesn't make sense. While it may not have felt too intense to you, she clearly didn't feel the same way.

[Happy Lemming]

Fred... I never really cared what a woman said after she dumped me. I just don't care. I was the best person I could be and if that wasn't good enough, so be it.

 

The excuse she is giving you could be total BS, in the end what does it matter. She doesn't want you, so go home, shower up and go look for the next one.

 

For the record, my long term girlfriend (7.5 years) is Jewish and I'm Atheist. Our religious beliefs or lack there of have never been an issue. Her friends and family know I'm an Atheist and doesn't effect how we interact, etc.

 

In the Jewish faith the religion follows the mother, so if the mother is Jewish and the father is non-Jewish; the children will still be considered Jewish.

 

Personally, I'm not buying the religion excuse or "too intense" relationship BS excuse, she doesn't want you and may not even have a reason. Or there may be someone new that she is interested in and needs to get rid of you to pursue that gentleman. Who knows... It's done and its time to move on.

 

NEXT!!

[preraph]

Her talking about the intense thing was confusing. But maybe she meant it moved too fast or things were too intense for her, whether it was herself or you being too intense for her to the point it made her nervous or tired. She sounds more like it was how you two were together, maybe moving too fast, maybe it being too melodramatic.

 

Either way, she wants to marry someone Jewish because that's important to her. Sorry it didn't work out for you.

[alphamale]

dude, don't even try to make sense of this sh*t...you'll lose your mind.

[mark clemson]

Every person is a little bit different.

 

There are 150+M women in the US. Imagine a box of over 150M chocolates, each one randomly flavored slightly differently (and with a sprinkling of the very unusual ones you'd expect > 3 SDs from the means).

 

She may have had an impact on you, but, just like any person, she is an ultimately idiosyncratic "random spin" of all the varied parameters that make up a human being.

 

It's her situation, her brain chemistry, her values, her emotions. All unique.

 

Therefore, her farewell text is of very limited value to your future dating endeavors.

[Londy]

Might as well stick yourself all over with needles if you're going to dwell on those old meaningless messages. Same difference.

 

 

 

Burn it, delete it, whatever. Get RID of it.

[Mr. Lucky]

to me i dont understand what she means

 

There's no value in considering this, each relationship is time and partner specific. So any epiphany you might have here really won't help you with the next person.

 

Probably better to be looking forward than back...

 

Mr. Lucky

[fred123]

Her talking about the intense thing was confusing. But maybe she meant it moved too fast or things were too intense for her, whether it was herself or you being too intense for her to the point it made her nervous or tired. She sounds more like it was how you two were together, maybe moving too fast, maybe it being too melodramatic.

 

Either way, she wants to marry someone Jewish because that's important to her. Sorry it didn't work out for you.

 

moving too fast? she didnt want to hold my hands the first month or two cos she felt scared it was a commitment. lol we were moving so slowww. we never even got introduced to anyones social circle. she used to text me hundreds time a day. the ironic thing is that her new guy after 3 weeks invited him to a wedding. lol how is that not fast or intense?! he also asked her if ue could go to her friends birthday etc. i literally was doing the same thing as him when we were dating if not less.

she even told me after we broke up that when she dates she sees a guy twice a week,once on a weekday and once on a weekend. but when we were together it was only once a week. and anytime id suggest doing something together or planning a date she would tell me its too coupley she dont like it as it freaks her out. for example i tried plan date to the zoo, the museum, asked her if she wanted to come to my best friends 30th party,spa weekend, new years eve. but yet she arent going to weddings and taking pics together and putting it on facebook coupley things?

 

i think she just was never into me and didnt want those things. cos of she found our dating intense then why continue dating me for half a year and saying yes to being my girlfriend and saying you have fallen in love with me. and spending valentines day together and sneding me pics of wedding dresses and rings she likes.

how can one say that they found it too intense and hence why they didnt do anything with me but yet at the same time felt comfortable sending me wedding dresses and saying she loved me etc etc.?

 

confusing?!

[Gaeta]

moving too fast? she didnt want to hold my hands the first month or two cos she felt scared it was a commitment. lol we were moving so slowww. we never even got introduced to anyones social circle. she used to text me hundreds time a day. the ironic thing is that her new guy after 3 weeks invited him to a wedding. lol how is that not fast or intense?! he also asked her if ue could go to her friends birthday etc. i literally was doing the same thing as him when we were dating if not less.

she even told me after we broke up that when she dates she sees a guy twice a week,once on a weekday and once on a weekend. but when we were together it was only once a week. and anytime id suggest doing something together or planning a date she would tell me its too coupley she dont like it as it freaks her out. for example i tried plan date to the zoo, the museum, asked her if she wanted to come to my best friends 30th party,spa weekend, new years eve. but yet she arent going to weddings and taking pics together and putting it on facebook coupley things?

 

i think she just was never into me and didnt want those things. cos of she found our dating intense then why continue dating me for half a year and saying yes to being my girlfriend and saying you have fallen in love with me. and spending valentines day together and sneding me pics of wedding dresses and rings she likes.

how can one say that they found it too intense and hence why they didnt do anything with me but yet at the same time felt comfortable sending me wedding dresses and saying she loved me etc etc.?

 

confusing?!

 

 

She was not into you. She used you, controlled and manipulated you. She simply killed time with you till the right guy comes along, we told you 100s and 100s of time. You were played. It was a year ago. Let it go. It doesn't matter why, just put it behind you and move on.

[fred123]

She was not into you. She used you, controlled and manipulated you. She simply killed time with you till the right guy comes along, we told you 100s and 100s of time. You were played. It was a year ago. Let it go. It doesn't matter why, just put it behind you and move on.

 

 

you are absolutely right. The intense thing is a loaod of bull**** otherwise she wouldnt have continued to date me and be in a relationship with me. You cant claim you are in love with me then claim after thatour relationship was intense thats why i never took pictures or did anything coupley with you. such a huge contradiction. It is as simaple as she didnt feel it with me and is trying to put the blame on me. WELL mymessage to her is if you felt it was intense dont continue to date me and be in a relatioship with me, because relationships are about doing coupley things and being introduced to social circles and taking pics together etc.

 

 

This also sums up the BS. three weeks after we broke up we were still texting and friends it was my birthday weekend coming up and i said lets go for a spa weekend to celevrate my birthdday would be nice. she siad yes at first and then when i was trying to organise it excatly times and how many days she could take off she freaked out and said i cant do it " u know what im like i panic and freak out with coupley things". So i respected her decision and we didnt go. At no time did she mention anything about our replationship being intense and thats why she didnt do certain thigns with me. All i knew at the time was what she told me which was she panics and freaks out with coupley things which she was telling me from day one ( mind **** cos we did valentines togethaer so mixed messages). Anyways 2 weeks after our non-spa event weekend GUESS WHAT?! she goes on a wedding weekend somehwere and invites her new guy ( who i had no idea she was even dating someone otherwise i wouldnt have asked her to spa weekend for my birthday). Talk about coupley hey?!! well her response to that when i calle dher out on the double standards was that longmessage about " being intense together and not being in a position to do certain things"

 

 

Load of bull****. she just didnt want to go on a spa weekend with me and used the " i hate coupley things " as an excuse. She didnt clearly panic or freak out with going to a wedding with a guy shes known for a few weeks. How does that make me feel knowing she was more confrtable going to a wedding with a guy she barely knows and not me , her boyfreind who she loved was going out with for 6 months?! can any women understand womens nonsense? lol

 

 

vent over

[The Outlaw]

This is why somethings are better left unsaid. There's point trying to analyze why someone has ended a relationship with you. But you will never move forward if you can't break away from the past. It's over. Done. Finished. Kaput. Leave it there. Trust me.