Stuck in the seemingly eternal seperation.

[ivoryivy]

Here's the jist of my story... I married my long time fiance October of 2003. We were together 8 years before we were married. Seven months into the marriage I discover that he had started a relationship with a 15 year old student of his.

 

Being that I was shocked and still in love I wanted to work things out but after I confronted him he decided that it would be best if we seperated so I had to move out.

 

That was a year and a half ago. He's wanted to get the divorce this whole time. Now, although I still love/hate him I also want the divorce. The only thing is that I refused to sign the papers he drew up since they basically meant he got to keep everything that he has in his posession which includes a ton of my belongings as well as my cat which I had before the marriage. When he made me move out (we were living at his parents' house) he refused to let me take her and although I've asked several times he still won't give her to me and now says he's lot all of my photo albulms that were at his house.

 

I've been trying to get a lawyer of my own but can't afford one now that I have to pay for all my living expenses. So now I wait. He says once it reaches the 2 year mark of the separation that he'll just divorce me without my consent. I get so angry when I think of everything he's done and the position I'm in now.

 

I hate the idea of divorce. I want to have a family someday but I don't believe in second marriages nor do I want kids out of wedlock so I'm just stuck in this frustrating circle. Most people tell me to just get over it and forget about the cat, but she was my only companion when he wasn't around for 6 years and it feels so wrong.

 

Most days I try not to think about it. My dad even got me a new cat but they are complete opposites and sometimes I think it just reminds me of what I'm missing. I still wonder everyday what he's up to. Then I'm sad all over again. I miss him but I can't stand to even hear his voice anymore. I feel so stuck. I can't do what needs to be done. It's so frustrating I don't know what to do.