heartbreaking Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 My boyfriend and I are older and have been going in a terrible merry go round. Basically, he has an issue with telling the truth when it comes to his finances and one of my adult kids doesn't like him b/c they know how this has upset me in the past. He has never asked for money or anything like that - but the idea he lies to me makes me lose it big time. When confronted he says I am looking for an excuse to break up with him b/c my kid doesn't like him - so blame shifting. The way I look at it, I don't want to jeopardize my relationship with my child unless my bf can stop lying - so the cycle goes.... Last night I broke it off and once again, he blamed it on my kid (and me). He never admitted to lying EVER despite me telling him the reason I don't bring him to family events is b/c when he lies, I don't feel like causing an issue with my kid and it's my way of coping (punishing him). He said he wants to reach out to my kid and try to have them understand he is a good person, etc etc..... I told him not to even try. If I really believed that my kid would accept him and that I would be satisfied with the relationship, that may be possible. But, he just doesn't get that I cannot tolerate his lying, his failure to ever ever take responsibility and apologize and he being selfish and uncaring in certain situations - he verbally attacks me on occasion when he feels threatened - he didn't even apologize for that last night! How do I know I made the right decision? I know we all have our faults? Could he be right that I am looking for excuses to break it off with him so I don't have to deal with my kid??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author heartbreaking Posted September 12, 2019 Author Share Posted September 12, 2019 I caught him looking for me on my way to work while driving and he just waved. Is he following me? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 OP, making new accounts and posting over and over again about the same issue is not going to get your different responses 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 It sounds like you've taken a step forward, OP, and dumped him. You were not happy with his lies and your child did not feel comfortable with him. Things have obviously been very rocky for a while. You don't have to explain anything to him. You have done this time and time again and the message has not sunk in. I hope he isn't following you. That's something to keep an eye out for. A guy who is bound to lose partners because of lying may resort to other tactics if his pattern of behaviour is not working. Take care of yourself and your family. Link to post Share on other sites
Heartbrokenandconfus Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 I now have a big bruise on my arm from him grabbing me during our argument. Link to post Share on other sites
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