STILL trying/1st couseling appt 1wk Questions

[jhurtinct]

I have posted on this topic before I'm not double posting just had no responses.

 

I'm back w/ my ex whom is my sons father, we've been 2gether 6 1/2 yrs, lived together through most. I moved back home with mom 2 months ago, we have since decided to try again we agreed (his idea) to go to couseling and seek some prof. help.

 

My prob is I'm still not happy with one thing

 

I'm helping him pick out tiles and paint for the basement he is/we were remodeling, yet I still haven't seen the progress because I still won't go there. He knows how I feel and he has been sleeping here almost every night of the week, it's crazy, he showered here which is added to everything that is pissing my mother off (her life is disrupted me, her grandchild*which is the only thing she doesn't mind*, my 2 cats and huge dog, now him every night) I can't blame her. I feel for her

 

His friend asked him if he wanted him to leave and my bf's response was when I do you'll be the 1st to know, which I didn't like, I thought maybe something like"well maybe u can start looking now, but no rush" It upset me

 

So he says 1st counseling to be sure we've covered everything and don't ever have to go through this again, I've called 3 diff offices noone returns my call. That makes me upset (I just want to stop being and be again)

 

I just don't know what to do I'm so happy when we are together, but when we are apart or we have to sleep in a bed 1/2 the size of the bed at HIS house, in my mothers spare room no less I get very moody which puts tension between us.

 

I just wish his friend would get the clue and go, I would feel very uncomfortable if it was me my bf is never home in his own house.

 

 

???? now is what do you lovely LSers think the counselor is going to say because this is the first thing I wanted to bring up, will he side w/me or am I wrong? Should I bring this up first?

 

I just want to go at this the right way from the very start, I would also like to know what usually happens during these sessions, as far as do they ask us ?? do we just talk to him?? Do wwe talk to each other just with him as a coach?

ANY help would be wonderful:sick:

[Art_Critic]

You get to make the sessions how ever you want them to be..

 

The counselor will want to know things like why your there and what are the problems that you think are there and you kinda take it from there.

 

It is a lot like group therapy in the fact that it isn't one on one and you get your turn to talk and then he will get his turn to talk..

 

I think it is great that you guys are making a go of it.. Make sure you bring the issues out in the open.. Don't look to the counselor to take sides.. A good one won't.

 

It's about working out a resolution to the issue not blaming who is at fault

 

 

Good luck.. and don't sweat it.. just relax and talk about what is on your mind

[jhurtinct]

thank you Art. (I do enjoy reading your post BTW).

 

I am for some reason alittle nervous about this whole thing though.

 

Art I would love your opinion on the whole living situation:) Thanks again.

[Art_Critic]

It's normal to be nervous .. Everybody is.. By the second session it will be old hat and the nervousness will turn to excitment..

 

I'm taking a wild guess here but I think that the living situation is the way it is because the basement and house are the primary bones of contension and he feels that by being at your mom's that it will be easier to get along with you without causing anymore bad feelings..

So he might think that his house and basement are sore points or hot spots and he is trying to avoid them..

 

Just a guess.. it can really be any reason.. That is something he will have to answer..

 

But I think the friend should go .. It is time and he is causing issues between you two.

[jhurtinct]

thank you again. Art.

 

Anyone else enrich me with your wisdom pls, I can use all I can get:)

[jhurtinct]

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