Holly01 Posted September 14, 2019 Share Posted September 14, 2019 I have been with my partner for 20year ad have 3 beautiful children. Over the past 12 months I have suspected that there might be someone else in his life romantically besides me. I had access to his Facebook account and had logged into to have a look one afternoon and they were messaging each other. He was saying things like I cat wait to see your pretty face again, I can’t wait to cuddle you, your are my princess and my favourite and always will be, can’t wait to go on our short trips again, I love you and always will!i took screen shots of all the conversation as once they had finished talking he deleted it all. When I confronted him that he was messaging this women he denied it and said prove it. Once I showed him the photos of there messages to each other he told me he knew I was logged in and was setting me up! Am I being a fool for thinking he was setting me up or was this just another one of his lies? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 14, 2019 Share Posted September 14, 2019 I'm sorry .I wouldn't believe a word he says. Why would he have motivation to "set you up?" Makes no sense. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted September 14, 2019 Share Posted September 14, 2019 You're not a fool for wanting to believe him, but by posting here it shows that you know he's lying. And quite a disgusting lie as well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted September 14, 2019 Share Posted September 14, 2019 Wow. Ya. That's a lie if I've ever heard one. "I'm totally going to trick my wife/partner into thinking I'm having an affair with another woman. It will be so much fun and she'll think it is such a funny trick!" thought no man ever. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted September 14, 2019 Share Posted September 14, 2019 Who was he messaging? Did you get a name? You are going to do follow up, correct? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 14, 2019 Share Posted September 14, 2019 Go find this woman. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted September 14, 2019 Share Posted September 14, 2019 I agree. He's full of crap. Talk to this other woman and ask her to confirm it then throw it in his lying cheating face. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 Wow, what a shame. It will be interesting to see how he deals with the prospect of paying child support for 3 kids. Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 Wow. Ya. That's a lie if I've ever heard one. "I'm totally going to trick my wife/partner into thinking I'm having an affair with another woman. It will be so much fun and she'll think it is such a funny trick!" thought no man ever. Exactly. He's lying. Have you taken a look at the credit card bills? Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 Yes, he's lying ... and he's using an old trick that slicksters and manipulators and liars use ... which is to try to throw the betrayed party on the defensive by challenging their basic sanity. Say something so crazy that you wonder if you're totally off base. That's a method. You don't need to fall for it. And one reason this brazen lying works is because when we're in situations like the one you're in, we really do NOT want to believe what we're finding. The excuses some liars give to their wives and husbands are so pathetic to outsiders, you wonder how the spouse fell for these lies. But .. the spouse wasn't ready to trust their own conclusions ... and wasn't ready to leave. So, now you're in a position that requires some decisiveness. You don't have to be decisive immediately ... But ... first of all, you now know your intuition was right. You picked up the affair ... probably from his emotional distance ... and then you confirmed and saw details on FB. So when he comes up with his lie, remember that your intuition picked up the problem before you saw the FB messages. Now you've got to decide what you want to do. Do you want him to stop and to go to marriage counseling? Do you want to think about leaving? No right-wrong answer ... But I'll tell you honestly: his brazen lying is NOT a good sign. In fact, so outrageous is his lie that my intuition and experience tells me he's done similar weirdness with you before. This cannot be the first time he has challenged your sanity or tried to manipulate you. Time to really be honest about him and his weaknesses and his strengths. You might want to go to therapy to get a good forum to figure out what to do. You might want to consult with a divorce attorney. You can do that often for free and often without going through with the divorce. This is something you will want to share with friends. Don't let embarrassment hold you back. You need the fresh and clean air of other people's insights and their support ... at this time. So sorry to hear this ... but this can't be the first time he's done something nuts like this ... I'm talking about the lying ... but perhaps the cheating or another kind of manipulation as well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Inspire Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Now here's a guy that is going down with his ship. At this point do you really need a confession? I know you don't want to believe it, but those messages are all the proof you need and the context of them is undeniable. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 25, 2019 Share Posted September 25, 2019 Well, if he's telling the truth, he just snapped you up in the trap... The bigger question is: what are you prepared to do about it besides complain? This has been going on for about a year now--have you talked to an attorney to see where you stand? Link to post Share on other sites
Tristian Posted September 26, 2019 Share Posted September 26, 2019 Op hasn't returned since posting this so we'll close this one up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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