Blondegirl89 Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 My boyfriend and I hadn’t seen each other in about a week due to our busy schedules. Anyway he cooked me dinner and afterwards we had sex. He went to shower and as I went to get dressed I noticed he had about 15 condoms in his shower bag. It really freaked me out. Normal I’d expect to see one or two but it was insane the amount he had in there. He also said that he didn’t have any lube but about 2 weeks ago when he was staying in mine he bought some for my place and mentioned he bought some from his. We never have sex in his place it’s usually always at my place. I got a little suspicious when he bought the lube 2 weeks ago because he bought condoms and only left 2 in mine and brought the rest home with him. Now I know it could be totally innocent but my worry is we normally ever only have sex in mine so why would he need so many, especially in his showerbag. Now I don’t know if this makes any difference he did clean up his place before I arrived so he could have thrown them in there when tidying and sorting. Am I over reacting? Link to post Share on other sites
BJP1991 Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 Well, I can only speak to what I know without being in his head. Condoms are expensive. It’s pretty stupid actually, and if you’re not buying a decent sized box, then it’s like 2 bucks every time you wanna bang. So him having a lot of them is probably normal, actually. He just bought a 16 pack or whatever. It’s the most economical choice. I assume you and him don’t use condoms regularly? If so then this post is a waste, so I assume not. If you’ve been together long enough and are comfortable, just ask him about it. You have every right to know, especially if you and him never use condoms. 28y.o. Single male here - if that helps with perspective and interpreting my post. Link to post Share on other sites
JEG88 Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 Without asking him first, yes you're over-reacting and creating a story in your head that will only breed worry and doubt. Ask him ASAP to clear things up. Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 I assume you and him don’t use condoms regularly? If so then this post is a waste, so I assume not. I thought they did use condoms regularly. If they dont, then him having so many condoms is almost definitely a bad sign. If condom is their usual means of protection, and he doesnt give any other signs of cheating, she should let this go. Link to post Share on other sites
emeraldgreen Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 Check in a week and see if half of them are gone. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
spiritedaway2003 Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 Check in a week and see if half of them are gone. I know this is a serious thread, but your comment made me laugh. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 your only worry about his condoms is their size...M, L or XL Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 Yes the condoms are a bit fishy, but it is lube that is perhaps incriminatory. Why did he buy lube for his place if they (ie the OP and him) never have sex there? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 I don't know what to tell you :/ I'd be suspicious too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 Yes the condoms are a bit fishy, but it is lube that is perhaps incriminatory. Why did he buy lube for his place if they (ie the OP and him) never have sex there? For masturbation? As far as the "shower bag" - not sure what that is. Is it just the overnight bag he brings to your place? Does he take it to the gym with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 Yes... suspicious. You can't know without further investigation. But how? btw why is it you never have sex at his place? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 As far as the "shower bag" - not sure what that is. Is it just the overnight bag he brings to your place? Does he take it to the gym with him? A toiletry bag. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 A toiletry bag. Oh ok. Like my dad's old "train case" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 OP, ask him "why all the condoms?" and see how he responds. If he is defensive, like "who cares, they're condoms" or something like that, you have every right to be suspicious. Unless he thought he was going to have sex with you about 16 times while at your place which is kinda weird. The only way to know if something is up, is to straight out ask him. Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 hmmm.... tons of condoms and lube, in a shower bag. As in gym. Where other naked men hang out... Are you sure your BF is totally straight? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 hmmm.... tons of condoms and lube, in a shower bag. As in gym. Where other naked men hang out... Are you sure your BF is totally straight? you talkin' about anal sex with strange men? could be a possibility … hmmm Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 I'm thinking condom water balloon fights Link to post Share on other sites
crispytoast Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 Maybe he secretly likes making balloon animals. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blondegirl89 Posted August 21, 2019 Author Share Posted August 21, 2019 My boyfriend and I broke up yesterday over the phone after a very heated argument. I’m handling it very well to be honest but the issue is we are due to go on vacation next week! I still want to go and I’m pretty sure he does as well. I am doing no contact but I was wondering if it would be acceptable to reach out to him over the coming weekend to see what he was thinking about the vacation. It’s 8 days away now and I’m a little concerned as if I do go I will need to book accommodation. My friends have said give him a few days and let things settle down before I reach out which I will do but the vacation does need to be sorted as we both will lose money if not! Link to post Share on other sites
Twizzlestick Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 (edited) Break up on the phone after a heated argument? Sounds like might be a fake breakup. Who did the breaking up? If you don’t mind me asking are you both quite young? If he broke up, could be he was not feeling it and it gave him the out he needed. How’s things been up to that point? On the rocks? I wouldn’t stay NC in this instance. Purely because all this happened during a very recent fight, it’s different from a “mafioso sit down” breakup where someone plants you in a chair and delivers the news they no longer feel xyz. Then you go NC. In this case, a few days to calm yourself then send a message saying look, you want to chat, sorry you squabbled but you’ve this great holiday coming up and want to get moving forward so you both can have a great time” It’s mature, you’re burying pride (someone has to) taking a lead and offering a way forward from the impasse. If he still stews, is resolute or a total git then likely he’s for real and has been mulling it over for a while, for the time being at least. In which case you cancel the holiday and retrieve any funds you can for yourself and go NC. Edited August 21, 2019 by Twizzlestick Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 I am doing no contact but I was wondering if it would be acceptable to reach out to him over the coming weekend to see what he was thinking about the vacation. It’s 8 days away now and I’m a little concerned as if I do go I will need to book accommodation. People need to quit treating this "No Contact" as if it is a noun or something or some kind of "law". If you actually break up with someone then you have no reason to contact them, so you don't,...but if you have a legit reason to contact them, then you do. It is no more or no less complicated than that. Treating "No Contact" as some kind of "thing" seems to be the one PUA creation that everyone seem to have attached themselves to. If you want to go with him on this vacation then take care of business,...if not then drop it. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 You got trip insurance on this? Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 You can still go and not talk to each other Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 Yes the condoms are a bit fishy, but it is lube that is perhaps incriminatory. Why did he buy lube for his place if they (ie the OP and him) never have sex there? For his masturbation maybe? No guy likes it dry. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 Maybe he secretly likes making balloon animals. Or filling them up with water and throwing them off the roof! Link to post Share on other sites
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